If there were a FAQ page through which straight men could learn about gay men, what answers should be included?
Reddit users in the r/askgaybros community sounded off after u/honestdiary posted a simple question in an October 23 post. “What would you like straight men to know?” u/honestdiary asked.
In the resulting discussion, a word for an NSFW body part came up twice, in two different contexts. (As in, “Don’t be an ______,” and also, “Please wash your ______.”)
Some commenters corrected misconceptions and stereotypes, while others wanted to be treated like straight guys’ straight friends. One lengthy comment, seen below, came from one half of a gay couple ostracized by their female friends’ husbands.
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A few commenters said they are turned off by straight guys. (“Don’t flatter yourselves; my type of guy is gay,” one wrote.) Others, though, were very much down for some down-low action. (“I can keep a secret,” someone quipped.)
Here’s a selection of the responses:
“Just because they have a d*ck doesn’t mean I like them.”
“We’re gay, not desperate.”
“A threesome is not peak sex. There is more.”
“You can be passive and masculine.”
“That being gay isn’t a choice.”
Related: We’ve all noticed straight guys checking out other guys, right?
“Raise your children to respect others. Break the cycle of assholery.”
“GTFO of gay bars and clubs if you’re only concerned with chasing chicks.”
“If you are hot, I have thought about your d*ck. Accept that and let’s talk about something else. My straight friends and I joke about it. One teases me every time we hang out. I tell him I’ve lost interest because his personality sucks but he can still send me a d*ck pic anytime he wants.”
“We’re not all into anal. You do not need to ‘put your arses to the wall, lads.’ I do not top anyone except by special request, and you ain’t that special.”
“That we like fart jokes and chicken wings, too. Also, don’t worry—I’m not planning on seducing you. If I need a good lay, there’s an app for that.”
“If we’re complementing you, it’s not a marriage proposal or offer of sex. It’s just a compliment, and take it as a great one, because odds are it’s about a quality character trait or [because] you’re dressed far better or look more attractive than other straight guys.”
Related: If you have trouble making straight male friends, you’re in good company
“That gay sex is actually badass.”
“I am staying in room 406 at the Holiday Inn just next to the airport. Door’s unlocked. I have to check out at 10 a.m. Friday.”
“I genuinely appreciate the male-to-male friendship from those that aren’t too ‘afraid’ to be friends with a gay dude.”
“It’s a great question. [I have] been married 20 years, [have] three teens in high school, had a tech firm and now a design build firm. Husband is a writer but loves classic cars and gardening. We both work out. My hobbies are upholstery and furniture, woodworking… And yet, every time we meet the parents of our kids’ friends or straight couples in our neighborhood at dinner parties, the husbands stay quietly in their corner while their wives eagerly flock around us. I don’t know if it’s ‘we have nothing in common’ stereotyping that keeps the men away, or if they are worried we won’t be able to control ourselves around their penises. Over the years, we have made great friendships with a few of the husbands. We really appreciate straight men who are so comfortable in their own sexuality that we are just guys to them. More of this please.”
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Rambeaux
Anyone who stays in an airport hotel and doesn’t keep the door locked is too stupid to screw….gay or straight.
thisisnotreal
this shouldnt have made me chuckle but it did.
Consider This
Truth.
jt1990
Gay or straight, those who vote Blue are too stupid to screw. Just a reminder to vote Republican tomorrow! Have a nice day
Bo Hamrk
Me? ” Don’t go flattering yourself “
bachy
I’d like the straight brothers to know that there are as many gay dudes that are complete jerks, assholes and bores as there are straight dudes that are jerks, assholes and bores. And there are as many cool gay dudes as there are cool straight dudes. Do your own math.
jt1990
Very true. A gay relative once claimed that most gay dudes are total d!cks. Like the old saying goes, you are what you eat I guess lmao
bachy
LOL! By your logic I guess that makes most straight dudes total pussies!
dario717
We do it in more than one position.
cuteguy
I hate when straight ppl think that the only qualification that is needed is that the other person is gay when they are trying to set you up.
Pgh bear
Took me a long time to learn this, but … straight guys: we know your women don’t give you NSA compliments. We know some of you don’t get comments at all. You look nice today. Just accept it. We’re good allies.
MISTERJETT
don’t use us to flatter yourself. not all gay men want you.
Caelestius
Straight guys are more open and learning than ever.
We gay men could reel in the gawking and gushy “hottie” compliments, because the straight guys aren’t interested, and obsequious adoration makes them more arrogant and makes us look idiotic.
We’re at a great crossroads, not a drama class or politburo trial. Think before you make a scene–Most guys, gay, bi or straight, can appreciate a buddy hug in warm, safe moment, but most feel awkward or mortified if a pushy girly mug paws his bushy, burly rug.
Neoprene
Are you this boring in person, too?