Gay guys sound off on what they want straight bros to know

If there were a FAQ page through which straight men could learn about gay men, what answers should be included?

Reddit users in the r/askgaybros community sounded off after u/honestdiary posted a simple question in an October 23 post. “What would you like straight men to know?” u/honestdiary asked.

In the resulting discussion, a word for an NSFW body part came up twice, in two different contexts. (As in, “Don’t be an ______,” and also, “Please wash your ______.”)

Some commenters corrected misconceptions and stereotypes, while others wanted to be treated like straight guys’ straight friends. One lengthy comment, seen below, came from one half of a gay couple ostracized by their female friends’ husbands.

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A few commenters said they are turned off by straight guys. (“Don’t flatter yourselves; my type of guy is gay,” one wrote.) Others, though, were very much down for some down-low action. (“I can keep a secret,” someone quipped.)

Here’s a selection of the responses:

“Just because they have a d*ck doesn’t mean I like them.”

“We’re gay, not desperate.”

“A threesome is not peak sex. There is more.”

“You can be passive and masculine.”

“That being gay isn’t a choice.”

Related: We’ve all noticed straight guys checking out other guys, right?

“Raise your children to respect others. Break the cycle of assholery.”

“GTFO of gay bars and clubs if you’re only concerned with chasing chicks.”

“If you are hot, I have thought about your d*ck. Accept that and let’s talk about something else. My straight friends and I joke about it. One teases me every time we hang out. I tell him I’ve lost interest because his personality sucks but he can still send me a d*ck pic anytime he wants.”

“We’re not all into anal. You do not need to ‘put your arses to the wall, lads.’ I do not top anyone except by special request, and you ain’t that special.”

“That we like fart jokes and chicken wings, too. Also, don’t worry—I’m not planning on seducing you. If I need a good lay, there’s an app for that.”

“If we’re complementing you, it’s not a marriage proposal or offer of sex. It’s just a compliment, and take it as a great one, because odds are it’s about a quality character trait or [because] you’re dressed far better or look more attractive than other straight guys.”

Related: If you have trouble making straight male friends, you’re in good company

“That gay sex is actually badass.”

“I am staying in room 406 at the Holiday Inn just next to the airport. Door’s unlocked. I have to check out at 10 a.m. Friday.”

“I genuinely appreciate the male-to-male friendship from those that aren’t too ‘afraid’ to be friends with a gay dude.”

“It’s a great question. [I have] been married 20 years, [have] three teens in high school, had a tech firm and now a design build firm. Husband is a writer but loves classic cars and gardening. We both work out. My hobbies are upholstery and furniture, woodworking… And yet, every time we meet the parents of our kids’ friends or straight couples in our neighborhood at dinner parties, the husbands stay quietly in their corner while their wives eagerly flock around us. I don’t know if it’s ‘we have nothing in common’ stereotyping that keeps the men away, or if they are worried we won’t be able to control ourselves around their penises. Over the years, we have made great friendships with a few of the husbands. We really appreciate straight men who are so comfortable in their own sexuality that we are just guys to them. More of this please.”