Our only question for Equality California? Why didn’t you hire the Leffews?! In a new ad campaign launching Monday, Equality California will begin filling commercial breaks with images of gay families doing normal things, like spending time with their kids and shopping for prom dresses. It’s all part of an umbrella effort not only to show gay relationships are just like straight ones, but that you probably know people exactly like those featured in the ads.
Messaging
Gay Marriage Activist Strategy: Keep Showing ‘Normal’ Gay Couples
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Andrew
Hmm… And what exactly constitutes a “normal gay couple”? More to the point, once you’ve parsed the “normal” couples out, who remains? The “abnormal?” Is conformity to straight norms our aspiration? Seems we should be affirming the whole of gay humanity in all of its expressions.
strumpetwindsock
@Andrew:
What’s with the ironic parentheses in the headline?
I think the statement means they want to show gay couples doing everyday things to demonstrate that they are “normal” (read: not any different than straight couples).
I don’t think it is a reference to weeding out the three-eyed ones and keeping them locked upstairs.
Is this the X-Files thread? Because it seems to me some of us are busier looking for conspiracies and plots in our own camp than in actually working for equality.
What’s “abnormal”? Obsessive paranoid and delusions of victimhood, that’s what.
strumpetwindsock
@Andrew:
The headline question was not directed at you, BTW.
John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)
@strumpetwindsock:
It gets hits…
strumpetwindsock
@John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s):
I hear you.
So do car crash photos and smear stories.
And it is about as constructive.
Andrew
@strumpetwindsock:
Yikes. Less caffeine might help with the bitchy ad hominems. As a lawyer who actually does work for our equality on a few levels, I’ll just say that you are incorrect in implying I am an obsessive paranoid with delusions of victimhood. I don’t spend my days searching for conspiracies in our camp, as you put it. I spend them representing mostly gay and lesbian folks facing difficult legal challenges that they wouldn’t face were they straight. And by the way, gays and lesbians ARE different in many and varied ways from our straight contemporaries. Yes, we do “normal stuff” every day and yes, we have many similarities to straight folks. But pretending that we have no distinct qualities/attributes to our community and no diversity in our fold is silly. That’s all I was saying. Now… again, try less caffeine and those snarky ad hominems will gently fade away….. Cheers.
ksu499
Has anyone else noticed that when a TV news program is running a story on marriage equality, they tend to show clips of gay women getting married much more often than gay men? Is it that many more women are getting married so that film is easier to acquire, or is there some sort of censoring going on?
strumpetwindsock
@Andrew:
No need to take it personally. I was actually directing it more at the article writer than you, but frankly it does seem to be an obsession for many people here.
The hard evidence…. that word “normal” in parentheses. The only reason why that is in the headline is to put a negative spin on this piece and make people question “what about those of us who aren’t squeaky-clean”?
Sorry to day you took the bait.
(I’m not a lawyer, but a former newspaperman)
If they had written the piece straight, with no negative spin I doubt you would have even thought of that side of it.
But again, sorry if you thought I was dropping that all in your lap. I stand by my comments, but they were more general.
strumpetwindsock
oops
… “sorry to SAY”
depfox
I am glad in our family videos we have never refered to ourselfs as normal all families are different and special thats what makes them so incredible. diversity is our strength.
Jay Leffew
Toby
@Andrew:
We are unique and have a culture that is our own and separate from the straight communities. I see where Andrew is coming from. Still, I would imagine that marriage rights would be a hard sell if the focus of these commercials were drunken and drugged out circuit party boys, steroid bloated men emerging from bath houses, and dykes on bikes. Then again, maybe that is the best strategy; after all, we’ve had those images out front and center since the 1970’s, and look where it got us.
Look, I love every part of the gay community, and I would hate for us to sacrifice our culture for the sake of assimilation. I don’t want our great artists, writers and philosophers to disappear because we have lost sight of the very fact that we are different. I don’t want the campy humor and drag queens to go away. Personally, I’m not detectable on the streets, but I sure am the first to correct the checker at the supermarket when she asks me if my wife likes my cooking by telling her that, indeed, my husband likes my cooking very much.
It is just that for years I have had to battle both the straight community and the gay community because my own true lifestyle choices are rather pedestrian. I declined invitations to underwear parties, one night stands and circuit parties not because I condemned them, but because they didn’t fit well with my own, particular value system. What I got for that by the gay community was snide remarks, accusations that my lack of participation was a form of judgement and condemnation.
Now, I have the great opportunity to see our community fight for marriage equality. I was incredibly saddened to see how our leaders framed the fight during the Prop. 8, and our utter lack representation. Now we have a new leadership, and they wish to profile those who also represent the community. Are they normal? To straights they will never be normal, but their lifestyles will be more akin to what most straights perceive to be normal (even though we all know that there is really no such thing as a normal straight relationship too). Ironically, in the gay community, those who portrayed this type of life had for a very long time been living outside the gay norm.
If we can’t embrace all factions of our community, those who choose to party hard and those who just want to get off the ride and settle down, well then we are dead in the water. We just need to be smart about whom we put “out there” for what particular purpose.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the cranks like Larry Kramer; I love the circuit party boys, the dykes on bikes and (perhaps particularly) the colorful and creative drag queens–all of whom celebrate life boldly and large. Nevertheless, it does us no harm to take a moment to celebrate those who live life a bit more quietly, for these folks are now willing to put themselves out there on the front lines to advance this particular cause.
Can’t we cut one another a bit of slack?
Clarissa Darrow
Andrew you just prove that you can be a total ‘tard and still become a lawyer.
But you’re not alone on the special yellow bus. There are many fruits who confuse apples with oranges, who confuse feel-good affirming of the diversity among our own with the focused “marketing” tactics necessary to getting any gay rights bill passed. They are two different subjects regardless of how much the lunatic fringe tries to otherwise paint them.
Convincing people to accept change is essentially just another “product.” All commercials attempt to appeal to what the seller believe the potential buyer will most positively respond to.
Exactly HOW are these ads “pretending” that there aren’t differences? If you find an ad that attacks any morally neutral aspect of our community rather than simply not including it, gives us a call.
In the meantime, go back to posing for statues and opening the latest rejection letter from MENSA.
Andrew
@Clarissa Darrow:
Wow, humor at the expense of the mentally retarded?? That’s both powerful and classy!! Thanks for sharing the 5th grade wit.
Oh well, time for this “tard” to get back on the “yellow bus” and open his “MENSA rejections.” After all, I’m just one of those “fruits” that “poses for statues”…
Andrew
@Toby:
Toby, I agree with a lot of what you said. And… to a certain extent, I can empathize with your own personal experience. I do think we should cut each other some slack, as you put it. There’s enough violence and cynicism and bigotry out there – we certainly should not add to it. It’s been a long long struggle to get where we are today in terms of legal and political advances. Sadly, many in the LGBT communities still face pretty harsh realities. I’m still confident, though, that the momentum of recent advances will continue… Cheers.
Clarissa Darrow
Oh, I apologize to the “mentally retarded” for the confusion with you, Andrew. After all, their challenges are merely unfortunate results of fate. They did not choose their disabilities and deserve our compassion.
A “‘tard” is someone like you who with at least minimal intellectual abilities, in your case allegedly enough to hang a shingle, chooses to be stupid; prematurely ejaculating such meaningless “queer” cliches as “straight norms” and “gays and lesbians ARE different in many and varied ways.”
Perhaps if you ventured beyond the borders of whatever gay ghetto you live in you would discover that the “difference” from the “average” heterosexual of many homosexuals begins and ends with their affectional/sexual orientation. But your “humanity” not only would diss them but denies they exist.
Congratulations. You apparently were a triple major: law, ignorance, and arrogance.
The Gay Numbers
Straights and gays are equality diverse in how they address life. It is interesting to read or hear attempts by gays to limit us- whether by conservative gays or queer theory gays. We are as complicated as straights. Nor can we be reduce as Clarissa writes to “gay ghettos”, but then she is wrong to assume that anyone interested in diversity is from a ghetto.
Whereas I do not agree with Clarissa (nice Silence of the Lamb) means of explaining it, I do have a problem with the agenda that is often involved in these discussions that go beyond the underlying goa of marriage equality or equality in general.
So long as they have more ads that include Latinos, Asians and blacks, as well as low income families, etc, then I am fine with these ads. The reason diversity is important is to reach as many audiences as possible. To leave no stone unturned However, reading about their plans- it sounds like they definitely get that point. That if you want to reach people you have to reach out to them.
The problem with abtracting this to “gays are different” is that it serves no useful function here. If by different you mean you want to see more diversity in the families whoa re in the ads, then I agree. In the past, I have seen those diverse ads by this particular group, and, therefore, I am not worried. They had previous ads, as I remember, with a latino couple as well as a mixed race family, etc. I think they may have had one with a black couple, but I am not 100 percent sure. The point is to show all communities because it helps in message, and not, because we are trying to score political points about being inclusive. In the end, the solution for all couples of all races is equality.
Tony
Sort of off-topic, but it is incredible how much bitterness is directed at lawyers. Methinks a lot of people took the LSAT, did horribly, and have not gotten over it. BTW any attorney working to further the rights of the LGBT Community should receive a sincere and hardy “Thank you!” rather than a jealous green-eyed bitch slapping.
Just sayin’.
TANK
@Tony:
I got a 168, and I am no fan of lawyers…or the profession of law. They’re like fancy electricians, really.
strumpetwindsock
@Tony:
Yeah, but I think if one can’t take the heat, one should not put the poofy chef’s hat on. One lawyer friend of mine has “bastard and Screwer” on the flip side of his “barrister and Solictor” card.
He actually works on the radical left.
I also recall a conversation I had with a particularly sensitive lawyer who was genuinely hurt by all the nasty lawyer jokes (he was talking with me and another journalist – also a whore’s profession, perhaps one step up from advertisers and… well lawyers and politicians). I could sympathize of course, but really if he’s in the profession he should know what vicious snakes lawyers can (and sometimes must) be. It was all very pathetic, quaint and amusing at the same time.
allison
Wow! for those bashing OUR attorneys, STOP! by all means, please. i don’t know how many of you sit here and simply type all day to a blog, but i am in CA and we are really trying to move equality forward on a daily basis. it is clear the attorney bashers have no clue how many free hours our attorneys give us weekly, monthly, and yearly. these are billable hours in which they could be earning a living. and guess what, the majority of the attorneys i know working on EQUALITY issues for LGBT are straight. when i have the opportunity, at a rally or a protest, i always thank the attorneys personally. and hey, i always thank the clergy who show up in support of EQUALITY, as well. certainly, we must all stick together or we will surely hang separately!
geoff
@Toby: Thank you for a beautifully put eloquent post.My partner and I are as vanilla as can be, but I agree with you 100%, just because we all live different types of lives, there’s no reason to be disagreeable about it. What works for me may not work for someone else, and that’s fine.
afrolito
Those ads are more perverted than anything i’ve ever seen at the Cock on a thursday night. Sad..
strumpetwindsock
@allison:
Allison…. joking, for god’s sake. My point was that the most of the evil lawyer jokes I know I actually heard from LAWYERS.
Who do you think knows most intimately how cutthroat the profession can be? …lawyers!
But yeah, of course I know there are decent hardworking ones and it’s an essential profession for securing our rights.
But the notion that a lawyer would actually be shocked about it was as funny and odd as thinking a politician, advertising agent or journalist wouldn’t be aware of the similarly slimy reputation our professions have.