One of Ron Paul’s former campaign directors, Mike Health, has just issued a warning to his fellow Christians: Do everything in your power to stop gay marriage on the planet Earth before it reaches outer space and sodomy become an intergalactic plague on the entire universe!
In a new blog post, Health, who once warned that legalizing gay marriage would lead to crop failure and graffiti, started off by comparing gay rights to rabies.
“The virus is spreading rapidly,” Heath cautioned readers. “It won’t be enough to pervert the whole world with this evil anti-family worldview. Since the developed governments of the world aspire to colonizing planets we have to prepare for the export of sodomy to other worlds — to the entire universe!”
“I think it’s time for us Christians to flip open our communicators,” he said. “Beam me up Scotty.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
But it gets better.
“It’s like Satan, a rabid dog, sunk his fangs deep into the donkey flesh of our nation’s government,” Heath continued, “and now the deranged ass is infecting other nations.”
Rabies, he believes, can only be cured by vaccines before any symptoms appear.
“Paul the apostle points out in his letter to Roman Christians that you can tell when a nation has become a walking corpse when it has endorsed perverted sex,” Health concludes. “Is it too late for America to take the vaccine? Are the symptoms of judgment evident?”
h/t: Right Wing Watch
Atrius
Religious nutters need to be removed from power.
Jim Guinnessey
How long must we endure these idiots?
PARKAVMAN
The universe probably doesn’t have such provincial concepts as man/woman gender separation or possibly even marriage. People (life forms, whatever they may be) will probably be with the one they want. Sex will not be frowned upon or stigmatized.
Paco
How do these people avoid padded cells and shock treatments? When people spew crazy delusions, we usually try to treat their mental illness. But add religion along with the insane rambling, and it is no longer crazy. Go figure.
AzLights
These people are just nuts. Too bad Reagan started the trend of closing the mental hospitals because this guy, along with the others, is certifiable.
Roan
Well, considering that aliens are into anal probing, it’s a safe bet they beat us to it.
Curty
As if all gay couples practice anal sex. :-/ This is one of the most lunacy statements ever! Wow… What a crazed man…
GG
Too late. I recently returned from Omicron Persei 8 and there is gay marriage splattered everywhere!
Yes, I was on the [infamous] Tour #69. I’m told the tour is so popular that it will be expanding next year
to include a local planet. Their slogan: Coming to Uranus in 2016.
Ogre Magi
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Cats are from Saturn,Dogs are from Pluto
——————————————————————————–
and gays are from Uranus
Giancarlo85
I am pretty sure extraterrestrials would be really upset if the religious disease would hit their planets.
Avery Alvarez
Put all of Earth’s religious nutters on a rocket and tell them they’re going to foreign planets to proselytize,
then “accidentally” send them into the sun.
hyhybt
““Paul the apostle points out in his letter to Roman Christians that you can tell when a nation has become a walking corpse when it has endorsed perverted sex,” Health concludes.”—Strange; I just finished a four-month Bible study course on Paul’s letters and missed that part entirely.
Saint Law
@hyhybt: And of course it was Christianity which transformed the Roman empire in to a walking corpse.
DavidIntl
I am reminded of the denizens of Marklar’s reaction to the spread of Christianity to their planet…
Sluggo2007
The biggest space of all is between Heath’s ears.
Realitycheck
But I kind of like the idea, to export (lol) sodomy to other planets.
Gay orgy on venus!
@hyhybt:
Me too, my childhood studies never included that, how strange.
@Saint Law:
One has to wonder how different the world would be if any kind of accident
had ended the life of their prophets (aka nut cases) like Jesus and Mohammed.
John D. Plume
It is of note that they think that gay sex is sooo amazing and enticing–even to aliens.
Giancarlo85
And this is how these libertarians view us. As diseases. You think these guys are better than conservatives? They are all the same and they all hate.
BlogShag
This is side hurtin’ funny, but also it’s quite sad, because these religious loons actually believe this stuff.