Gay Men Are Impregnating Australian Women In Record Numbers

Yes, it’s true: gay men are actually impregnating more Australian women than ever. Just not, in the, er, missionary position.

The Casey Weekly reports that, after a recruitment drive to get more gay men to become sperm donors (there was apparently a shortage), women looking to get pregnant via the turkey-baster method are experiencing shorter wait times.

The Weekly tracked down gay advertising representative Scott McKeown, and got him on the record about why gay guys are willing to father children for women they don’t know:

“The difference between gay guys and straight men in wanting to be a sperm donor is, we are not going to create a complication for ourselves or a future partner and kids, more often than not. We’re not going to have to deal with a future wife or husband, and those kids, and then someone knocking on the door or making a phone call years later, because it’s less likely that we’re going to have that kind of lifestyle.

“It would kind of be nice as you get older to actually see someone, possibly see yourself in their face and actually say, well the surname may not pass on but maybe my genes will live on. It’s the basic human driver for both men and women—why we live, and how we came about anyway. What a nice thing to leave.”

But this all begs the question: will there be an explosion of Aussie gaybies in the coming years? I, for one, will not visit Bondi Beach in 18 years, as the gaybies come of age. They will be sexier, blonder, and skinnier than me, an American tourist longing for my glory days.