What’s it like hooking up with a gay-for-pay adult film star? That’s what Davey Wavey wants to know.
The vlogger-turned-educational-gay-porn-producer recently sat down with Alex Mecum and Thyle Knoxx from Men.com to discuss their experiences working in the adult film industry.
Related: Guys Reveal What It’s Like To Be ‘Gay For Pay’
The guys talked about everything from how they got their starts in the business to how doing porn has changed their relationships with nudity and sex, and, of course, what it’s like having sex with straight dudes.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
When asked about partnering with gay-for-pay actors, Mecum, a lifelong exhibitionist and former Mormon, says: “For me, I worked with a lot of gay-for-pay actors and sometimes I felt like I had a better connection with them than some of the gay people I worked with.”
Related: Straight guys absolutely cannot stop having gay sex, study finds
He continues, “That’s one thing I learned from doing porn, coming from a background where I had to compartmentalize everything, is that the world is actually full of people who are very diverse.” #wisdom.
Watch.
gregory_phillips
So sorry – but if you’re having sex with another guy you are not straight – no matter what you ‘identify’ as – if another dudes dick is in your hand / mouth / bum – you gay dude – or bi, but you ain’t straight
Vince
Of coarse there’s the many gay guys who only like straight guys so maybe their just playing up to that.
Texasholdem
If a woman paid you a million dollars to have sex with her and you accepted that wouldn’t make you straight or bi.
Transactional sex isn’t about orientation.
Bernice Jenkins
Based on your logic then all those closeted gay men who were married to women and ha ing sex for years with them to hide the secret.would actually not be gay when they come out right?
MonkeyMan
That’s illogical b.s. if I ever heard it: Millions of gay men and lesbian women have forced themselves into having penetrative intercourse with the opposite sex. But of course, as homosexuals, they didn’t enjoy it even if they could force themselves to do it. They didn’t become heterosexual just because they conformed to societies expectations. You’re also not bisexual just because you have had or force yourself to have sex with women. If you aren’t turned on by women then you are neither bisexual nor heterosexual.
Straight men do gay-for-pay because it’s easy money and good money in comparison to what men in straight porn make.
Getting an erection is also fairly easy even if you aren’t into your sexual partner. And then there’s always Viagra if you’re really turned off.
It’s just a job for them; they show up, do the work, and then go home to their girlfriends and have sex that turns them on.
Gay guys in porn don’t have to do the same because there’s good money in being a man in gay male porn.
Tombear
So what do you call straight married men who go to adult bookstores in order to receive head? The don’t recepocate and don’t like to be touched?
eeebee333
You’re mistaken, gregory_phillips.
Nosso Crankee
What compels you to make an absolutist and unilateral proclamation on the sexuality of all males of our species?
Let me answer that for you, as your post clearly illustrates your cerebral limitations will not allow you to do the same:
Your pinched, calcified, anemic intellect is what compels you to shrilly dictate that EVERYONE must believe as you do.
Stop shouting your particular brand of ignorance from the rooftop. It makes you LOOK THE FOOL….
Mandrake
I would bet my salary that 100 years from now there will be no straight, bi, or gay labels. People will be much more sexually fluid with whom they choose to have sex and marry. Inhibitions and social constraints will be chains of the past.
DCguy
That is only if you buy the idea that society and environment has an effect on what people are attracted to. Saying “Everybody has to be Bisexual” is just as ridiculous as saying “Nobody is really bisexual”. I hope there wont be any hang-ups about what people do or who they’re with, but they’re still going to fall on a spectrum most likely.
Greg
Gay, Bi and Straight aren’t “labels”. They are classifications. Labels are sexually fluid, polyamorous, cis whatever, gender queer, and any other thing they make up.
Mandrake
DC guy, that’s exactly the idea I adhere to. We are raised with all the cultural influences and pressures that lead us down one track or another. Yes, many people are born to have a natural attraction to their own sex, but what’s to say these same people won’t explore with the opposite gender and become emotionally as well as physically attached to them too. I believe the same about heterosexual people. In fact, it already happens. So yes, I do believe that the continuum line of sex orientation will widen and broaden as cultural influences accept and embrace all possibilities of human relationships. Just give it another century.
MonkeyMan
Gender and sexuality are predominantly dimorphic, it’s just a biological fact: The brains we are born with will in 99.9% of all cases tell us that we are into either men or women, and there’s no amount of culture or revelations that can change that. That’s not to say that a tiny, minuscule fraction of humans are genuinely bisexual to some extent. But it’s lower than 1% of the entire globe.
Creating bisexual individuals doesn’t make sense from a biological viewpoint. The idea of being gender fluid or sexually fluid is romanticized but does not reflect the nature of humans or other mamals. A truly gender-fluid, non-binary individual wouldn’t be able to procreate and nature doesn’t play that way.
Our first purpose in life is to procreate and that’s why all healthy humans, LGBT or not, are able to procreate with the opposite sex. Our brains are wired differently from birth, but every single human is either male or female. There just is no other way.
MSchmal
100 years from now humanity will be on the brink of extinction due to climate change which causes widespread war, famine, and endemic disease. Accordingly, no one will care about labels.
Mandrake
MSchmal, you’re wrong as are all others are who want to prevent or inhibit climate change. The human being is not proactive about environment or climate change, never has been, BUT he is adaptive to his environment as countless examples from history can attest. The human WILL adapt to whatever the climate demands of him. Civil engineers, architects, and city designers will all be involved. The Paris Accord is a mistake. It suggests and promotes global cooperation that could never happen. It’s not how the human being thinks or reacts.
isa
MonkeyMan
Gender and sexuality are predominantly dimorphic, it’s just a biological fact:
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that i can tell you as a biologist/anthropologist is not a fact. that is strictly eurocentric ethnocentrism. the heterosexist paradigm just does not work when it comes to mammalian biology – all through social species, mammal or bird, MvF cannot account for what we see. and our chromosomal facts also don’t match that
there are many genes over many chromosomes that direct sexual development and external sexual characteristics just simply cannot reliably stand for sexual identity and behavior all across the whole spectrum of social species. not all humans are dimorphic – many local populations very much not so. – the key word is individuation – people are all different. regions are different. social classes are different. cultures are different
in primates, what seems species specific in one area is far different in another area. there are rhesus macaques with alpha male dominant troops. there are rhesus macaque groups with dominant female alliances. culture. there are in most human societies some variation on 3rd sex, two spirit or other non-binary concepts of gender
DCguy
Change “Straight” in the title to “Bi or Closeted Gay Guys”
MonkeyMan
No, gay-for-pay actors pop a Viagra or bottom for the gay porn actor. They do the job and go home to their girlfriends and have straight sex that they enjoy.
Gay men and lesbian women don’t become heterosexual just because they give into peer pressure and have straight sex.
An actor who plays a doctor in a movie doesn’t become a doctor or needs to want to go to medical school after the movie is done for him to play the role well. It’s just a job.
Bernice Jenkins
why is it a man can be in the closet for years even decades with a wife having sex with her and then come out as gay And it’s never accused of not really being gay since you had sex with women all those years? It’s a bit of a double standard isn’t it? If a guy can pretend to be straight for all those years and have sex with women for all those years but really BJ just covering it up then the same thing can apply the other way around. Some men might do it for money and have sex with men for money and then a closeted gay guy his incentive and motivation is keeping his secret not money. But it’s still the same thing.
Greg
Because the default sexuality is heterosexual. Everybody is assumed straight unless told otherwise. A lot of gay guys have had sex with women before they had sex with men. Only because that is what is taught and expected, until they realize and accept that they are gay. A totally straight man wouldn’t have sex with other guys. Not even for money. I would say the guys who are gay-for-pay identify as straight, but they would fall closer to the gay side of the spectrum. Which would make them bisexual.
radiooutmike
I’ve been accused of being less than gay by some gay men for this same reason.
I usually tell them, it’s complicated. If you grew up in a stable home and your sexuality was the most adverse thing you had to deal, you may want to count your blessings. Or perhaps, you had a very less-than-stellar home life, but there was some kind of drive that made you, you. Like that identity was a strength.
Me? That just wasn’t in the cards. I had to go through a lot of stuff. Did I know that I was gay? Sometimes. Did I try figuring it out? Sometimes. But, I always kind of retreated into what was expected. So, yeah, I was married to a woman for two decades and I have two children. I loved her, still do. But now I understand why it was easier for me to deal with not having sex with her and other things I could not quite understand.
isa
when the culture around you really only offers one real option, and any others are just too awful to imagine, you go for the best option.
when i was growing up in the 50s, queer was something just too disgusting to imagine. – if all you know about queer is a queer in drag doing BJs for two dollars or bent over a pool table – no matter how you are attracted to the guys in the showers, you stay in denial. if you really admire those athletic scholar types with confidence and competence dripping off of them, you want all the world to be straight, look straight, act straight, think straight – no other option is possible . .., nobody wants to be liberace.
sex with women has its pleasures and being friends with women too
Terrycloth
No amount of money would get me turned on so much I’d have sex with a woman..how these so called straight guys have full on guy sex and think nothing of it
Because it was for money ? Think Broke straight guys..really.
How many are actually straight some have done 30 40 50 films…i could see tried it once but didn’t like it…but over and over?
MonkeyMan
It’s really, really good money, way more than they can make as men performing in straight porn(straight porn is for straight men, predominantly, who really just want to look at the women).
Gay-for-pay actors either pop a viagra or bottom, or have a woman off-screen help them get hard for the scene.
It’s not rocket science: they don’t have any feelings for the other men in the scene. They just do the job and go home, nothing more.
Troyfight
^ yeah, I’m no authority, but I think Monkey Man is right in many aspects. …My worthless opinion: I think some “straight” guys aren’t really affected much either way, honestly treat sex with another gay guy, kind of like a massage, “well, that feels nice, he’s a nice clean guy, and I can go with it for a while and manipulate to an orgasm, but it’s not something I chase after….”….point: I think there is a middle ground for a substantial amount of “straight-ish” models…while everyone else talks about the extremes (vs i.e.: they secretly LOVE it!! they secretly Hate it!).
LA_bi
I’m openly bi and I have straight guy friends who I hook up with every once in a while when they’re not dating anyone. I don’t think this makes them any less straight. We watch lesbian porn and jerk off and suck. It’s just a release for them. Someone else’s mouth on you is better than being home alone. It’s not romantic, it’s just guys needing to get off. But I also have gay friends who have told me about times they were horny and tried to be with girls and they just couldn’t physically or emotionally go through with it so I hear your point Terrycloth. My thought is that for some straight men it’s just about getting off in the best/easiest way possible
TimothyBeauchamp
Okay, I’m not saying all guys that “identify as straight but have gay sex” (bisexual but prefer women usually) are this way, but it has been my experience I lot of them don’t know to wash their ass and balls. I’ve heard women complain before but I, personally, have only experienced that “problem” with those guys that SWEAR they aren’t gay. Is cleanliness just a “thing” for gay guys? WTF?
isa
very rarely. almost every str8 guy i ever had sex with was clean – smelled clean – like had had a bath that day – if not. i did not…
Lacuevaman
trash stinks….. maybe you are attracted to trash… Just saying.
chris33133
The interview is actually rather informative. But it has very little (if anything) to do with hooking up with straight dudes and a lot more to do with the gay-porn industry.
SiamSam
Yep. But it wouldn’t be Queerty without the misleading headline.
Hey that’s a good drag name. Miss Leading Headline.
chris33133
Absolutely love the drag name!
johnnymcmxxx
In fantasy, it’s better than in person but it was still good. Every guy I’ve been with, who identifies as straight, turned out to be a big ol’ bottom. I presume it’s the one sex act their wives or girlfriends cannot successfully achieve with a strap-on. Lol
Donston
This article is clearly not about hooking up with “straight guys”. It’s about the gay porn industry, which we should all know by now is full of self-hating, hetero-worshiping, loony faags. However, yes, you can have sex with people you have no sexual attraction, satisfaction or desire towards. But let’s not confuse “straight” with heterosexual. Most of these guys may be “straight”, but they’re not hetero. They have some type of attraction or arousal for something a men has to offer or can achieve some type of sexual enjoyment towards men, even if they have little to no desire, passion or romantic satisfaction towards men. There’s only a handful of men who’ve ever done a decent amount of gay porn that are legitimately, 100% hetero. They may be “straight” but not hetero.
As I’ve mentioned many times, no matter people’s identities or lifestyles most people are technically bi in some respect or to some capacity. It’s not special or unique. It’s most people. Most people fit somewhere on the spectrum. “Gay”, “straight”, “bi”, etc.- none of these things are technical breakdowns of orientation or lifestyle. You can be “gay” and fit anywhere on the spectrum, including hetero (yes, there are some people like that). And there are some homosexuals who are not “gay”. Gay just means your desires and passions lie with your same gender, and you can only be authentically satisfied and fulfilled with someone of your gender. And “straight” means the same thing except towards your opposite cis gender. The rest is dimension, sociology and “lifestyle choice”. However, if people weren’t so caught up in identity and caught up in protecting their egos things would be less problematic, and it would be easier to be honest with yourself and others beyond identity and sociology.
But most (not all) of these “straight men” who have indulged a decent amount of gay sex aren’t thoroughly hetero. So, stop the hetero worship.
WindsorOntario
There’s a palpable sense of despair with many of these young men who are getting paid for gay sex on video. A lot of gay men are so affluent and don’t have kids or partners – and live in wealthy urban gay neighbourhoods – and don’t have a clue as to what it’s like to be doing damn near anything for money. We have an opioid crisis in 2018 unlike anything in modern history. I see it every day outside my window. People are paying 80 bucks for an oxycodone tablet on the streets. Who knows how much more they’re paying for the really hard stuff. A lot of these young guys are at the beginning stages in their addiction which means they don’t ‘look like a drug addict’ yet. But they likely have gone through their bank accounts, have stolen things, been in jail/prison, and this is just another effortless avenue to getting their fix as soon as possible. You don’t see much of that in the luxurious gay meccas of costal America.
Many small town straight guys also have another huge problem – child support. Some states take you to prison if you can’t pay every month. Keep in mind most of these places that pay minimum wage and most people can’t afford to move nor could they afford to live in a big city today, since virtually none have affordable housing anymore. That 10 or 15 grand they’re getting paid goes a long way to stay out of jail for non-payment of child support or wondering how they’re going to afford that $600 baggie of pills. When you’re that desperate for money you’d do damn near anything, especially if it’s only a small amount of time being uncomfortable.
Who wants to work 12 hour days getting paid minimum wage when you make that same day’s wages in 15 minutes?
Donston
So, you created a long post simply to comfort non-rich straight dudes? While some people do porn strictly for money, many do it for the attention and to indugle their narcissistic and exhibitionist instincts as well. Most people, no matter how poor they are, would never consider doing porn. You have to have certain mentality to do pornography and stick with it. A lot of people (including a lot of gay men) get into porn because of damaged egos and drug addiction. Many gay men get into because they’ve been rejected by their families and feel like an outside and is looking for somewhere to belong. Many porn performers grow up in extremely dysfuctional families. The sex industry in general is full of drug addicts and a lot of mental illness. And it doesn’t matter about the dimensions of orientation.
Also, most gay men are middle class to poor like the rest of the country. I know no gay men who have all this money to spend. This idea that most gay men have all this money is a fallacy. Income is still greatly dependant on the family and the demographic you grown up in, opportunity and education. And there are tons of men who seemingly live “straight lives”, who never have any interest in legitimately being with another man, yet, they indulge plenty of gay sex and have no interest in being seen as anything other than “straight”. That’s what most of the article and the comments are about.
Your entire post comes off as “feel bad for these hard-on-their-luck ‘straight guys”. Ultimately, just like people have the sex and relationships they have for all different reasons, people get into pornography and stay in it for tons of reasons.
kent25
lol there’s not enough money in the world to make a straight man have gay sex. those gay for pay men are called bisexuals not straight lol
QueerTruth
Who wrote this? It would seem an ant-gay conservative.
Even the title is offensive. “Gay men dish what it’s like hooking up with straight dudes”…
“Dish”? Really? Could you find a word that’s less offensively queer? This juxtaposed to “straight”. Again, offensive BS. Men who have sex with men are gay or bi-sexual. Gay for Pay is a fantasy. Get over it. They are bi, whether they are married, with a GF or not. They are bi.
Dear Queerty Writers,
Please support the gay community by not promoting stereotypes in your language and focus.