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Gay Pop Singer Darren Hayes Opens Up About His Marriage To High-School Girlfriend

I think there are all sorts of gay men but for me personally, I’m gay. I’m not bisexual, but I fell in love with my best friend who was a woman. Of course, back then I had no idea I was gay. I suppose I had inklings. I love my mother dearly, but my mother’s Catholic and she raised me like a Catholic; I was so ashamed and scared of my feelings that I couldn’t even admit them to myself.

Truthfully, I fell in love with Colby. I think we realized about a year into the relationship that something was wrong. I’m a very honest person and I’ve never been unfaithful. I think some of the difficulty I had identifying as gay was associated with negative stereotypes linking gay men and promiscuity. I also wanted to have children so I could give them the life I never had when I was growing up. It was a very real, beautiful relationship and I thought I could make it work. In the end though she deserved a whole person and I wasn’t able to give her all of me.”

British pop singer and former Savage Garden front man Darren Hayes, discussing his 1994 marriage to a woman, with Pink News UK. Hayes’ new album, Secret Codes & Battleships, is out now.

On:           Mar 2, 2012
Tagged: , ,
    • Aric

      Holy God. Darren Hayes is gay? I have been bopping to his music for awhile now.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 9:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • prince of snides aka divkid

      aahhh!!! call me a racist, but i can’t bear the thought of a ginger opening up. *cold shiver*.

      i kid. i kid.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 10:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Robertson

      @prince of snides aka divkid: I love gingers. If anything, he’s not ginger enough.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 11:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad

      @prince of snides aka divkid: Don’t worry. Most gay men hate redheads. At least publicly (they consider it too Irish. Even though reds can be English and, actually, Scotland has an even higher higher percentageof them). Some men do have a fetish for them though.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 11:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MEJ

      I read about Hayes being gay 10 years ago. I think because his career sort of fell off the radar, no one really noticed.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 11:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MEJ


      Don’t worry. Most gay men hate redheads.

      Seriously? Red heads are hot, and they always have really big dicks. I think it’s natures way of apologizing for red pubic hair.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 11:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad

      @MEJ: I personally think they’re hot too. And there are so many varied shades of them.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 11:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • prince of snides aka divkid

      yeeeah…not really feeling your pet theory about “the gays” anti-irish prejudice. but whatevs.

      did somebody receive his sexual awakening over a box of lucky charms? would explain it.

      being half irish myself i’m flattered by your misplaced concern.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 1:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryan

      @CBRad: I didn’t know that, they’re one of my biggest turn-ons tbh

      Mar 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexa

      Darren is Australian, though he lives in England with his British husband. He came out officially around the time they married (well, what the Brits have instead of marriage). I liked Savage Garden, but really love Darren’s current music. He’s still popular in the UK and Australia, wish more people liked him here, maybe he’d tour here more often.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark

      Darren Hayes is Australian…not British.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wow

      @prince of snides aka divkid:

      He is like 5% ginger. Ginger isn’t a race. Irish isn’t a race. You are just a silly stereo-typist.

      imho, pale complexion with firely hair and soft freckles make their blue eyes pop.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • prince of snides aka divkid

      wow, Wow, really? they’re not!?! :-O
      thnx for the skoolin’.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • prince of snides aka divkid

      @Wow: “….firely hair and soft freckles make their blue eyes pop.”

      no. only ACTUAL fire can do this.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 6:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tyler

      *Yawn* Another closet queen who married a woman since he was too much of a coward at the time to admit that he’s gay. Most gay men even in countries like Australia, Europe, and North America let alone worldwide wind up marrying women.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 7:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad

      @Bryan: In the NYC gay ghetto they’re the designated ethnicity you’re supposed to hate (whether they’re Catholic, Protestant, or Druid…don’t matter). I’ve heard a number of theories for why this is, but I just think out-of-town gays, who make up the ghetto, think it’s classy to hate them, in an Aglophile type of way, so it’s one of the gay ghetto Rules. The things I’ve heard said about the Irish and Irish-Americans are astounding! Especially the ones already here, who were born and raised in NY, like some of my childhood friends (I’m not Irish myself). Of course, like I’ve said, the anti-Irish sentiments of Manhattan gays don’t prevent them from sometimes heading up to the Bronx seeking to pay for some straight mick dick, but….I guess that’s how it’s always been.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 7:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad

      @prince of snides aka divkid: I should have specified it’s mostly an American thing, gays in NYC, a little bit Boston and Philadelphia. But mostly NYC.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael Bedwell

      Meh. Raise your hand if you knew that Elton John was once married to a woman, too? [Even after having publicly come out as “bisexual.”]…. Thought so.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 7:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kevin

      Darren Hayes IS NOT a British singer – he is AUSTRALIAN – born and raised in Brisbane

      Mar 2, 2012 at 7:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CBRad

      @Kevin: That reminds me of when that horrid Andrew Towle practically stated Stephen Gately was English. These gays think they can designate the ethnicities they want people to be.

      Mar 2, 2012 at 7:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • shannon


      Mar 3, 2012 at 12:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Drew

      Shannon lay off the meth.

      Mar 3, 2012 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason

      Most men are bisexually oriented but are too afraid to admit it. Some men are exclusively gay-oriented but are too afraid to admit it. Darren Hayes seems to fall in the latter category as far as his early years are concerned.

      Mar 4, 2012 at 7:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paul Sanchez

      Darren Hayes is still in the closet. Did you see Bloodstained Heart, good grief…..still chasing after the girls!? Give me a break, great voice poor who the heck is his manager, that person needs to be fired!

      Mar 4, 2012 at 9:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexa

      @Paul Sanchez: could you be any more of an idiot?

      Mar 4, 2012 at 7:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carol

      I guess I always suspected he was gay but it is a shame… he is one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on!

      Jun 21, 2012 at 9:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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