It seems like there’s been a tragic run of deaths in the gay-porn industry. The latest performer to pass on is Arpad Miklos, who committed suicide on Sunday. He was 45.
Writes Fleshbot:
Randal Lynch, a writer and personal friend of porn superstar Arpad Miklos (a.k.a. Peter Kozma), confirmed the passing of the adult actor in a YouTube newscast titled “The Howard Bragman Show” this morning. The cause of death was suicide.
The Hungarian-born legend moved to America shortly after being discovered by porn studio Kristen Bjorn while working as a chemist, and pursued a career in the adult industry “on a whim.” After moving to America and teaching himself English, the legend appeared in more than 45 adult films and countless other one-off scenes.
“He was a great guy, on top of that, there was a lot more to him than just that surface persona. He was a very active person in the gay community, he gave a lot of money to charities, and was overall a really good guy.” Lynch says of his friend. “He was probably one of the biggest porn stars out there.”
When someone in the porn world takes his own life, it’s easy to assume drugs or depression was the culprit. But according to Lynch, Miklos’ reasons were his own: ”Haters can hate, people can speculate, but he’s not going to give a specific reason and give that satisfaction to anyone.”
Rest in piece, Arpad.
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yaoming
Dude was a hunk.
Spike
So he wasn’t just a actor in adult videos, nor was he a porn star, he was a porn superstar.
Confusing.
EdWoody
This surprises me. He never struck me as the type of porn star who was wrestling with deep-seated issues and problems. From what little I knew of him he seemed one of the most level-headed and normal ones. Guess you never can tell.
So many of the other porn stars who have died recently, I have restrained myself from commenting on, because I would not have had anything good to say. Here I can’t think of anything bad to say, so I have no hesitation in expressing my sadness and condolences to his loved ones.
MISTERSEE
Uhh, I think you meant to write “rest in PEACE”, din’tcha???
jackpapa
I believed him as an actor, I desired him as a man. Life is fragile.
iBLOW
WHAAAATTTTTTTT, I just watched one of his scenes last week. The one thing that’s crazy to me about gay porn stars is that usually the foreign ones are educated and have good degrees but come to America and do porn, He was a chemist, and Rafael Alencar was a doctor in Brazil I think.
The Real Mike in Asheville
I have watched a ton of porn, had my own porn fantasies, played with more than a few porn actors (and had lots of fun doing so), and my judgment is, who am I to judge? So, no judgment here about the business nor the performers.
My question, though, is, where does “legend” and “superstar” come from? Now that porn has become such an ordinary commodity easily available so anonymously on-line, there are no legends and superstars, just thousands upon thousands of hot guys having hot sex.
Eric Auerbach
This bums me out.
Jonathan26
Very sad new. First Roman Ragazzi, then Erik Rhodes and now Arpad Miklos. And HIV infection rates are soaring among young gay men who, more and more, do not wear condoms all the while hookup sites like Grinder and ManHunt continue to mint new members. We’ve come so far what with marriage equality at SCOTUS’s front door and yet we are, in some ways, unable to grow up and the casualties just keep coming.
litper
Superstar? What was super about him? Fucking that vagina bareback but refusing to have bareback sex with men or refusing to be the bottom because it’s degrading? He hated gays and gay inside him so much I think that was a reason for his suicide!
Fitz
I think that it’s important to think of the issue of depression and suicidality more than the specifics of what this guy did for a living. Most suicides are NOT gay porn stars, so it’s an absurd conclusion to imply that his doing gay porn triggered his decision to die. And you are just a weirdo if you think that he killed himself because of BB sex.
I am sad that he was in so much pain. I am sad that he didn’t wait one more day.
As an older person, I can assure you that almost NOTHING is worth giving up your time for.
All the awful things that have happened in my life have seemed a lot more manageable
just a short time latter. Almost EVERY problem can be managed.
Hoping his family is supported.
robro
A gentle heart and a humble man best describes this giant in the gay adult industry.
I will miss you Arpad, friend, scene partner and someone who I shared so many laughs with over the years.
Rob Romoni
QJ201
Loss of life is sad, but seems we give a bigger shit about dead porn “stars” than those people that did thinks to improve things for our community.
This hater hates when people “cover up” because of haters. LOL
CaptainFabulous
I am at a loss for words. All my mind keeps saying is “why?”
Levyr
This news really suprised me. Out of all people, why him…? And why suicide? I don’t understand.
This ruins my day.
jackpapa
@robro: Thank you for a human response Rob. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.
Katbox
WTF?! WHY ARE SO MANY PORN STARS COMMITTING SUICIDE?!
I wonder if it was HIV that drove him to it? He seemed so happy…and sexy…
CaptainFabulous
@Katbox: I don’t know if we can say “so many porn stars are committing suicide”. There are a lot of guys that do porn, and only a very small # ever commit suicide. Tho it would be interesting to see statistically if the rates are higher than in other professions or in the general public.
And since Mr. Lynch is refusing to give up any details it seems we’ll never know the reason, which quite honestly is somewhat infuriating. But I do understand it from both sides. So it just is what it is I guess.
fredo777
Goddamn. He was one of my favorites. And to the commenters who question whether there are still porn “stars” today, the answer is yes. Arpad was one of them. He had instant name/face recognition, for one thing, + he had a real presence in his scenes unlike “thousands” of other amateur porn actors who just blend in.
I will refrain from engaging in debate with the inevitable “Oh, see, I told you so!” high-horse riders that will gallop in with their usual tongue-clicking + judgment-passing on any topic relating to porn stars (dead or alive), but will just remind you that lots of people commit suicide (bullied youth, military members, etc.) + I don’t see why it seems fitting to lord it over the remains of the recently-deceased because they happened to have sex on film while they were still here.
I’m sure that won’t stop the usual anti-porn crusader trolls from running down the same laundry list of how porn stars are all “insane”, “addicts”, “low-self-esteem”, etc, etc. or how we should stop idolizing them because they’re the worst thing ever. I know Arpad obviously had his own issues, and might have had some fucked up things going on in his life, just like the rest of us. It’s just a shame that he couldn’t find a way of dealing with it without taking his life.
R.I.P.
Chad Hunt
Arpad was one of the guys who you enjoyed seeing and hanging out with on sets. He was very kind to everyone and never suffered from the “Diva” complex that seems to affect most guys in porn. I had the pleasure of working with him on several occasions and wish I had known him better.
Even when I would run into him outside of work settings like on the streets of NYC or at Dave Barton Gym he was always friendly to me.
Arpad saw the sexiness in everyone, even at times when someone could not see it in themselves. I don’t know what would lead such a beautiful man to commit such an atrocity against himself but I hope he found whatever peace he felt he was lacking.
lougenessis
I’m heart broken after finding out that one of my favorite actors’ is gone. I really liked Arpad and his movies. I could never speculate what it is that makes it so bad that one would take their own life and we’ll never know why Arpad felt death was his only solace. Rest in peace, my gentle beautiful giant. I will miss you.
Dinodogstar
And maybe it should be pointed out that these actors almost always are on steroids, which directly increase a suicidal impulse..but hey, isn’t the most important thing is that they looked good while they were still around? (that would be saracasm)
avesraggiana
This is sad and unfortunate news. I would occasionally see him working out at my gym. Even though he seemed unapproachable, I did remember thinking how beautiful he was in person, as he was on film. It just goes to show, one can never tell what is really going on under that beautiful facade.
Brian
Fred,
Porn is a disgusting, filthy industry. It’s a symptom of a downward spiral.
Chad Hunt
@Dinodogstar: Can we please not turn this into another lets Rip on the dead guy and his actions during life thread like what happened to the Josh Weston thread. Do you want people responding to your obituary with all of the negative things you may have done in life.
pbuff
@Chad Hunt: Chad thank you for your comments and unique perspective.
pbuff
@Dinodogstar: is this something you know with 100 percent knowledge? And if so…why aren’t 100 percent dead from suicide….yeah..facts…and all that.
avesraggiana
@Chad Hunt:
Amen. Hard-bitten, hypercritical, bitchy. cynical queens, please stand down.
So as not to be misconstrued in my earlier remark about Miklos’ beautiful facade, I must elaborate a little further. I find his passing particularly moving and shocking because of my natural and of course mistaken tendency, to believe that beautiful people must also lead beautiful, charmed and problem-free lives.
No matter what keeps happening to contradict this notion of mine, I will probably always want to keep believing this.
queertypie
@Dan Avery it’s Rest in PEACE, not piece….facepalm.
DarthKitsune
I’m genuinely saddened by this.
trojanboy
This kind of loss and sadness is always bad WHATEVER the reason.
RIP big guy.
lougenessis
Can someone PLEASE have this writer correct this misspelled word. Arpad doesn’t deserve this indignity. I’m truly SAD : (
bruno1950
Thank you for your comments Chad….Peter was an Extremely nice guy. Hope he was not in any pain. We will miss you Peter….
Franco C.
I wouldn’t call it an epidemic, but deaths are certainly higher in the porn profession. I work in PR and I don’t know one person who has killed themselves or contracted HIV, or any other disease. Clearly when someone commits suicide they are battling with some form of mental illness, and it would be interesting to know why so many individuals in the porn industry indulge in self-loathing. The idea of having sex on camera is fascinating, considering that performers risk their health, both physical and mental for one of several objectives: To have as much sex as possible. To work in a profession that constantly objectifies human beings, ignoring the divinity within all of us, is truly sad, but unfortunately it blurs into our collective societies. One has to be innately insecure to get naked for the entertainment, and approval of others. Approval I might add that is considerably shallow. Also, I cringe when I hear people say that 45 is “aging”. We’re all aging no matter what our age is. The real problem is that we consider people over 40 less valuable, and desirable. What does that say about our culture? What does it say about our own insecurities? We’re all responsible for perpetuating these conventions. Anyway, sad news about his death. I hope his family has all the support that they need.
Chad Hunt
@Franco C.: … It is the idiocies, assumptions and prejudices like you have just described that many of us porn performers have battled against. Shame on you for disrespecting someone’s obituary with your ill informed rhetoric.
Franco C.
@Chad Hunt: I apologize, but I’m merely expressing my thoughts. You can’t possibly believe that the industry is without its many faults, can you? If you could be more specific about you object to in my comment, I would be more than willing to engage in a respectful dialogue. But I won’t be throwing shade. Thank you.
Franco C.
@Chad Hunt: Correction: “If you could be more specific about what you object to in my comment….” I wish there was an edit feature after you submitted a comment! Oh well.
Fitz
When someone dies of suicide, it’s pretty normal to wonder about the circumstances. But they never really matter, because almost ALL circumstances are temporary. He died of suicide because he was depressed, and his depression got the best of him. That’s all.
Had he lived one more day, he might have found the right treatment, the right support, the right med, the right shoulder to lean on. But he didn’t. He died of a disease which will kill many people this year. And most of them will not be porn stars. All the morbid curiosity about his health and substance use clearly don’t come from a place of concern: they come from a place of self righteous denial (“It could never happen to ME!”).
So show a little compassion for other people who have or who soon will have lost friends, family, and lovers to suicide. Show a little humanity for some reader in this gossip rag who might get there someday himself. Find a better way to deal with your feelings which turns you into a bright star of humanity and brotherhood.
Chad Hunt
@Franco C.: I take isssue with everything you said about the porn industry however, Arpad’s obituary is not the place to discuss this, just as it was not the place for you to spew your ill informed rhetoric. Feel free to email me here. [email protected]
Franco C.
@Fitz: Regarding your second paragraph, I don’t think that’s necessarily true. People who criticize or who ask questions aren’t bad people, and they perhaps may have similar experiences to the people they are speaking about. Perhaps you could practice your own humanity and brotherhood philosophy. Most people try their best to express their opinions in a respectful manner, and once they do, they’re bound to offend someone. Life is much more complicated than that. However, I believe that you raised an excellent point, and that revolves around mental illness, and depression is a symptom. I wish people would raise, and discuss this topic more. I don’t believe you have to work in a particular industry to have valid points about its operation, ethics and values. We all do it, whether it’s about porn or a corporation. i do it in my job, and I work in an office. I do believe, whether people agree or not, that porn is a vacuous, and potentially vapid culture. How can it not be? Its entire purpose is to bring sexual fantasy to life. And for someone who may be struggling with depression, it can be challenging to escape the superficiality. Most people are strong enough to frame it differently. Others aren’t. I have all the compassion for Arpad and his family. And in life in general.
fredo777
@Franco C.: “I wouldn’t call it an epidemic, but deaths are certainly higher in the porn profession. I work in PR and I don’t know one person who has killed themselves or contracted HIV, or any other disease.”
I would like to know the stats for how many people who work in PR/marketing/advertising/related fields do take their own lives, just for comparison. Also, this is just throwing it out there, how many people who work in entertainment (in + out of the sex industry) do so.
Since you mentioned people working in porn because they are insecure + want approval, do you think most people who are seeking fame would fall into this category, to some extent? Most people in general, I’d bet, want the approval of others at the end of the day, no matter how much we may deny it. And, also, most people also want at least a fleeting moment in the spotlight. If not the case, reality tv + self-broadcasting sites like YouTube, blogs, etc, etc wouldn’t be so popular/ubiquitous. Does the fame-seeking become more or less tragic because it’s done in the nude than, say, fully clothed in a singing competition show? Does the need for validation (+ the shallowness of said ‘approval/validation’) become more shameful when the fans are watching you have sex on film as opposed to buying your albums, merch, concert tickets simply because of your good looks + the attractive image crafted by your PR team?
Franco C.
@Chad Hunt: Thanks but I will pass. You don’t sound extremely open minded to my perspective. I would like to note that just because I don’t work in the industry, does not make my points less valid. Anyway, like I said in my original comment, I’m sorry to hear about Arpad’s passing and I hope his family all the best.
Franco C.
@fredo777: I would agree with what you have said. But Arpad is a porn star, and that is a controversial topic for many people. So I addressed it because it was related. Also, I work in PR for the largest children’s hospital in Toronto — no joke. I work in not-for-profit and not in a glossy agency.
Chad Hunt
@fredo777: that was a very good response you gave. This guy has such an ill informed idea of porn performers that just perpetuate stereotypes. So many of us performers and ex performers are college graduates with B.A.’s M.B.A’s or P.H.D.’s and are so tired of being degraded by assholes. Am I stupid enough to say there aren’t truth’s in every stereotype No, but it certainly isn’t the case of the majority of colleagues I have had the pleasure of working with and for.
Franco C.
@Chad Hunt: I never said any of those things in the context you just related. That was your interpretation. I was speaking about the apparent correlation of depression/suicide/death in the profession, not making personal attacks. It’s a topic that many people will raise. I did not resort to name calling. I would prefer a polite and respectful conversation in the discord, without childish antics. I’ve done a lot of research and work with people who suffer from depression, members of my family have some form of mental illness, and they engage in self-loathing activities. Many of us do. However, I agree that it can be found in any profession, but this Obit is about a porn star who committed suicide, so in light of that, I raised these thoughts/opinions/questions. The purpose of my original comment is that in light of the recent deaths of high profile porn stars, these questions will arise, and instead of reacting defensively, I would open the conversation. If there was offence, I take full responsibility and apologize for that. But I am open to another perspective, and believe strongly in expressing my own opinions, whether they are right or wrong, that is how we all learn.
Franco C.
@Chad Hunt: This will be my last comment about the matter. I have no doubt that people in porn are educated. That is not what I was talking about. If you’re so comfortable with the decisions you have made in your life, by becoming a sex worker, why are you so defensive about it? Why are you angry at people who may have legitimate questions, no matter how ill-informed you believe they are? Usually when people are in a good place, and they are confident in their choices, they don’t resort to name calling, and insults to make their points. Again, I apologize if I hurt your feelings. That was not my intention. Rather I was hoping to express my thoughts.
CaptainFabulous
@Franco C.: Seriously dude, please quit while you’re behind and ask yourself why you feel the need to keep defending these views that others are finding demeaning, inaccurate, and inappropriate.
Please, just stop.
Chad Hunt
@Franco C.: Actually you said all of that in that exact context.
Quote … “… and it would be interesting to know why so many individuals in the porn industry indulge in self-loathing.” (where are u getting your figures to say there are so many? What is many? Compared to what?
Quote … “The idea of having sex on camera is fascinating, considering that performers risk their health, both physical and mental for one of several objectives:” Exactky how are we engaging in more mental or physical health problems compared to other professions? Again where are your statistics?
Quote … “To have as much sex as possible. To work in a profession that constantly objectifies human beings, ignoring the divinity within all of us,” Still don’t see where I took you out of context so far?
Quote … “One has to be innately insecure to get naked for the entertainment, and approval of others. Approval I might add that is considerably shallow.”
Ya, no where did I take you out of context. I don’t think you could have been more insulting and ill informed.
You have ascribed qualities to most or all porn performers that I have seen in less than 10% of the thousands of colleagues I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with for close to 15 years.
Chad Hunt
@Franco C.: you posed no questions but ascribed negative traits to most and all porn performers. I certainly have the right to defend myself against such a negative view of myself and friends. I was not any more angry or defensive than you would be should I have ascribed those qualities to you or your profession. Secondly, I would point out that I haven’t been a sex worker for over 5 years. I am a high school social studies instructor. I do not regret any of my time in my previous profession nor do I regret involving myself with various peoples of my profession. It is people like you who make generalities about others without backing them up with facts or statistics that perpetuate these ill conceived prejudices and fallacies.
Franco C.
@Chad Hunt: You’re asking me to quantify phrases like ‘so many’? I didn’t realize that my comments had to cite research statistics. Pornography is all about objectifying people, do you believe that it has a deeper more profound purpose? It’s not exactly an essential occupation. It isn’t exactly about capturing the essence of human beings, it’s about getting a viewer off. Am I wrong in assuming that? I think you might be to close too the subject matter to have an objective opinion. Are there no performers who share my thoughts? 10% is still a lot. But where is your statistic? At any rate, I suppose all you want me to say is that I am wrong, offensive, stupid and a jerk. Oh, and a moronic prick, I believe. Okay, you won. I am all those things and more.
fredo777
@Franco C.: “I would agree with what you have said. But Arpad is a porn star, and that is a controversial topic for many people. So I addressed it because it was related. Also, I work in PR for the largest children’s hospital in Toronto — no joke. I work in not-for-profit and not in a glossy agency.”
Fair enough. When I said “your PR team”, that was a general “your”, not a specific one. As in the PR team for a particular pop musician with questionable talent who gets by on looks, just as an example.
fredo777
@Chad Hunt: Yeah, I think a lot of folks have their own preconceived notions of what the porn industry is all about, be it positive or negative, + a lot of that does unfortunately seem to involve certain stereotypes. Like you said, it’d be naive to act as if nobody ever fits a certain stereotypical role, but I also don’t think it’s fair to broad-brush/make sweeping judgments on entire groups.
Chad Hunt
@Franco C.: Again you couldn’t be more wrong. Porn is about fulfillment of a fantasy vicariously through another. People may never have the opportunities to fulfill their own fantasies but they can fulfill them through porn. Porn is also a stress relief when coupled with masturbation. Masturbation has statistically proven to lower stress. Part of the essence of human beings and human nature is sexuality so again you are wrong. Porn also helps in sex education. When done by responsible safer sex companies it encourages safe sex. It also provides outlets for sexually repressed people who may take those frustrations out on others illegally were it not for porn. It can provide a high income level for individuals who are not college educated as well as help those seeking to become college educated go to school while working few hours. Clearly you don’t know a lot of a subject you have decided to objectify.
chew
Although, I never worked with him, he seemed to be a very nice, personable, down to earth type of guy despite his looks and celebrity. This is uncommon for big gay porn stars, as there are so many younger newcomers that are very full of themselves. As for the comments about people in the industry being uneducated, many of us are, sometimes its just easier money. But I digress, my sincerest condolences go out to his family and friends.
MK Ultra
I think the root cause in many porn star suicides, and suicides in general is loneliness. Yes I know that porn stars are often popular people, surrounded by other popular people. But I’m talking about internal loneliness, where you feel that no one will understand you, that you are alone in this world even if you’re in the middle of 7 billion people. Like the loneliness that many LGBT youth feel.
To quote, appropos of nothing, a pop star:
“My loneliness is killing me”. That’s truly sad.
RIP
bruno1950
Peter is gone, he is probably in a better place….Can we stop all the ugly comments..Thanks
Chad Hunt
Again, this is an obituary. It is not the place to discuss professions or degrade a group of people or even the individual who has passed which is why i told Franco to email me rather than discuss here. if you can’t say something nice about someone especially on their obituary then for God’s sake don’t say anything. You wouldnt want people speaking ill of you or your life on your obit. so stop trolling on others.
bruno1950
Thank you again Chad….I totally agree with you….
SoThenWhatHappened
@Chad Hunt: You really are hilariously full of yourself.
Chad Hunt
@SoThenWhatHappened: u have been reported to Queerty and flagged. I won’t even dignify your comment with any response beyond that.
Tommysole
he had nice feet
Chad Hunt
If u ignore them, eventually, people who troll sites will go away.
Brian
Porn + promiscuity = the downfall of men who have sex with men.
Brian
There is no such thing as a porn star.
CaptainFabulous
What do you get when you mix Brian with a head of lettuce and some vinegar? A douchey troll salad! HAR!
the other Greg
@Brian: No, you’re wrong about that. Porn addicts are mostly celibate. (Fortunately!)
Samuel
@Chad Hunt: The questions being raised here given the untimely and destructive deaths of 3 beautiful porn stars recently, are more in a spirit of finding what is wrong rather than some judgemental curiosity about them.
Someone elsewhere mentioned that Arpad also worked as a escort.. which I hear is not so uncommon for porn stars and am wondering if the emotional issues that these gorgeous men faced was due to that paticular trade, rather than their work in pornography.
the other Greg
@Franco C.: @SoThenWhatHappened: Here’s an interesting quote from Chad Hunt himself, from an earlier comment thread he refers to (re: the late Josh Weston):
“Of course the bareback companies usually do not require testing because it is assumed most or all of the models already are infected with HIV.” – Chad Hunt, 12/22/12
Wow, that blithe “of course”! Followed by the matter-of-fact “most or all.”
Obviously the gay porn industry has no major problems. Chad Hunt says so! – except when he doesn’t.
I agree that Chad seems oddly mystified by the differences between an “obituary,” and (for example) a condolence book at a wake for a 6 year old victim of the Sandy Hook massacre, and a news report about a 45 year old whose suicide either is newsworthy or it is not.
Stache1
@Chad Hunt:
Easier said then done but yes. Ignoring the trolls is best of coarse. I notice that “SoThenWhatHappened” is also on another site going crazy attacking everyone that supports Arpad. Sad crazy hateful individual. This is one of her posts on JMG …
guest Guest • an hour ago ?
Thank you other guest. This hag has ruined these comments by turning them into her personal hag facebook and her life is a cliched bore. My god how some of these man hating queens worship any hag with a poodle treat bag and a worn out Blanche Devereau (without the humour) shtik.
avesraggiana
@Stache1:
How sad she/he feels the need to do this. It takes so much energy, and is so life-depleting to be so hateful.
fredo777
@the other Greg: “Obviously the gay porn industry has no major problems. Chad Hunt says so! – except when he doesn’t.”
It would seem that “the bareback companies” referenced in that particular quote does not equate to the entirety of the porn industry, no? Also, I don’t recall Chad saying anything about there being no problems within the industry. Though, I might have missed that bit of the discussion.
I am mystified as to what the victims of Sandy Hook have anything to do with the subject at hand + find it odd that you used that as an example, even moreso with that little “newsworthy or not” trailer at the end regarding Arpad’s death (especially within an article about his death). It is newsworthy to those who are interested, as is the case with any other news/article. Curious, indeed.
fredo777
@Brian: “Porn + promiscuity = the downfall of men who have sex with men.”
Seems a bit oversimplified, to be fair.
Chad Hunt
@Stache1: @avesraggiana: … speaking of those who troll look who just chimed in. What took you so long @TheOtherGreg? I’m beginning to see a pattern here.
On the Josh Weston obituary thread, the “Negative Nancies” there were of course, @Spike, @TheOtherGreg, @Franco C etc.
I never said that I ASSUME all performers who do bareback porn are HIV positive I said the PRODUCERS of bareback porn assume all their models are HIV positive and therefore do not test for the virus.
As far as what an obituary is. Here is it defined by wikipedia: An obituary is a news article that reports the recent death of a person, typically along with an account of the person’s life and information about the upcoming funeral.[1] In large cities and larger newspapers, obituaries are written only for people considered significant.
Here is how it is defined at dictionary.com : 1. a notice of the death of a person, often with a biographical sketch, as in a newspaper.
So a news article in regards to a persons death is an obituary. This is Arpad’s Obituary on Queerty. Queerty is a new source.
All we need now is for @Cam to chime in and we’ll have the whole bunch. Truth being and everyone knows this to be true. Those who troll ofttimes have several identities so they appear to have support for their negative rhetoric.
I could care less what any of them say about me. I just hate to see people so disrespectful that they have to demean someone even in death. That is how unhappy and pathetic their lives are so they try to bring others down to their level.
Just ignore them and they will go away or report them and flag their comments when they violate Queerty’s or other sites Comment Policies.
the other Greg
@fredo777: “It would seem that “the bareback companies” referenced in that particular quote does not equate to the entirety of the porn industry, no?”
Chad was implying exactly that in the December thread. (And no one was contending that Josh Weston got HIV from a toilet seat or from a dentist.)
Chad seems pretty sure that the suicide of Arpad Miklos is NOT newsworthy and therefore we should not be commenting on it at all except perhaps to say nicey-nicey things he approves of. He’s under the impression we should treat this as not only an “obituary” but one with comments suitable for, say, a 6 year old murder victim, was my point.
If he wants to go on and on in the same mawkish tone every time someone in the gay porn industry dies of HIV-related causes or commits suicide… well as we can see, apparently that’ll be every six weeks or so.
“…I don’t recall Chad saying anything about there being no problems within the industry.” Okay, it would great to hear what he thinks ARE the problems.
Chad Hunt
@Stache1: I have no idea what JMG is. what is the site address if u don’t mind me asking.
the other Greg
@Chad Hunt: He probably means the “Joe.My.God” site.
Chad Hunt
LOLOLOL … see how quickly he has trolled this thread as he did Josh Weston’s. U can read the Josh Weston thread on this site and see I absolutely never said nor did I imply that the whole porn industry was HIV positive nor did I even say I thought the whole of the bareback porn industry was HIV positive.
My statement was thus. Most bareback companies don’t test because they assume all of the performers are positive.
How do I know this … A few ways … A few of my friends who went to that side of the industry explained that was the assumption. Several bareback companies have tried for years to get me to do a bareback video and when I asked them about testing etc that is what they explained to me. Even in the safer sex porn industry that I used to work for the assumption was everyone had the possibility of being infected so condom use was required. 1. to stop the spread of or 2. reinfection of HIV.
Just like any industry porn has various problems. These problems are not inherit to porn but like all problems are the result of people in the industry.
But as usual @TheOtherGreg tries to put words in my mouth or imply things that were never said in order to gain a reaction from me and others.
I never said the death of Arpad was not newsworthy, I never said people should only say nice things about him. I simply have said a person’s obituary is not the place to discuss negativity about a person or their life. I simply have stated that it was rude and tactless and I was sure people wouldn’t want others to do it to them at their passing.
As I said though if we just keep ignoring them, reporting, and flagging them eventually they will go away.
Nixter
@Chad Hunt: It’s a great gay web blog called Joe.My.God.com Check it out!
Chad Hunt
LOLOLOL … see what I mean about those who troll and are “Negative Nancies” … @TheOtherGreg immediately knew what JMG was. Probably because he trolls that site as well under a series of screenames. I looked at the site and comments section in regards to Arpad and definitely noticed the same trend. It was even pointed out by a few various posters on that thread that it appeared they had a troll using separate screenames.
That’s what these people do. They go from site to site vomiting all of their negativity in hopes of baiting people to engage them because their own lives are so meaningless and pathetic they have nothing better to do. In a sense they are jealous, of the people discussed on these threads, over being someone important enough to be discussed.
I, actually, sort of feel sorry for them. I hope they find some joy in their lives so they don’t feel the compulsion to bring others into their misery and self-loathing. I’m sure they live a very lonely life. It’s to bad they don’t understand they would have friends or more people to talk to if they were actually nicer people.
Chad Hunt
@Nixter: … thanks … I did check it out. Seems like an interesting site but I try to stick to only a few blogs etc. I usually read Huffington Post, Queerty, After Elton, Towlroad, and at times The Naked Sword. To many out there to try to read them all. LOL
Akod69
RIP Arpad Miklos a.k.a. Peter Kozma…
Chad Hunt
@Samuel: Certainly there is nothing wrong with asking questions. Questioning is how we grow as people and a society. These questions, however, need to be approached in a respectful manner especially when they involve someone’s death.
Yes, many in the porn industry escort. I can attest to how many, after engaging in escorting, have felt they lost themselves because they were more often then not being required to be their persona rather than who they actually are.
Then there are also all of these blogs, sites, social media outlets, etc that criticize and demean porn performers to the point that it could be considered cyber bullying.
Now, by no means am I saying that Arpad was a victim of this and therefore killed himself. I’m just saying it hurts anyone to be put down or ridiculed by others.
People automatically have assumptions when it comes to porn performers. As Marion, (Mitzi’s wife) in Priscilla, says, “Assumption my dear Mitz is the mother of all F$@k-Ups.
You certainly need a thick skin and a positive self-image to handle all of the negativity that is thrust upon you as any public figure will attest to.
Ofttimes though, after hearing these negative statements about themselves, people can often be brainwashed into believing them about themselves. Just like a mentally abused person starts to view themselves as the one who abuses them portrays them.
People react to and handle stress in varying ways and can withstand varying levels. I’m just sad that whatever it was that pushed Arpad into his action, seemed to have no other way out. I will miss him.
FunMe
I don’t know this guy. But he died. Who cares how he died! He is no longer here. He seems like a nice guy. WHY would people be criticizing him if he did not harm to you or anyone else? It boggles the mind. Yeah, we have bitchy queen in our midst, so who cares what these low lives “think”?
My belief is that Arpad Miklos who died at 45 is definitely in a better place, with no judgement and lots of love.
My sympathies to all who knew him personally.
Globaltraveler
I don’t know this gentleman. In fact, I had never heard of him until I saw a post on FaceBook about his death, and there is nothing judgmental in my comments.
Clearly he had much going for him.
Obviously intelligent. Chemists aren’t usually known for being vacuous.
Moved to the US and taught himself English. Also no small accomplishment.
Physically gifted.
Judging from the comments from those who claim to known him or just met him, he was a genuinely nice guy.
There is a disingenuousness with people criticizing the purveyors of porn when they are consumers of it themselves. It’s like driving a Hummer to a protest of an oil company. My guess is that the vast majority of people who are in adult entertainment eventually exit that career and move onto something a bit more mainstream with little fanfare. It’s the cases like this one that end tragically that get the press. It’s human nature to want to grab at something shiny. But for some people by the time they realize there’s a hook in it, it’s too late.
I have NO idea if he was involved in drugs, but anecdotally at least they seem to be prevalent in the adult entertainment industry. Most of the “alphabet” drugs leave your serotonin levels very depleted. This leads to (at least a temporary) depression, and can certainly acerbate existing depression.
Depression is a very real illness and those of us who have never really suffered from it can’t really understand the workings of the minds of those who do.
Having said all of that, it’s sad to see another of our community come to such a sad end, and I wish him peace and hopefully his family and friends will someday be able to think of him with only fondness and love, and not the heartache that is obviously gripping them today.
Sebizzar
@CaptainFabulous: Same. I was actually stunned when reading the headline. I loved his vids so much. I won’t be watching them the same way anymore obviously. And reading all these comments about his personality, I can definitely say he was an amazing person and it makes it that much more sad. I just can’t grasp what would cause him to kill himself! And I know looks aren’t everything, but if I were as good looking/wanted as he was, I would NEVER think about suicide again. He just seemed so happy and content with life. But like others have said, you just never really know somebody’s dark side.
R.I.P. Peter Kozma, you are missed dearly :'(
Burlington
Our personalities are built by the things that we lived. Qur personal story molds us internally so I don’t believe that a prostitute, a male-whore with all the dehumanization that prostitution leads has the same psychism the others have. I believe in a certain amont of sequels acting in them since when they dicided to go through this indignity till when prostituing themselves. Prostitutes – like ‘money-hungers’ – are known for don’t have moral limits when persuing money. Their personal lives mingle with what they do for a living because the propper nature of it. All is about money and nothing about any other value. They say: – I begin in this life because I was poor or: – I’m in prostitution because I can earn in one hour more than I could earn in a week/month working in a 9 to 5 job. Thinking about it I must say that prostitutes have to have some sort of mental troubles. He was a ‘ porn-star’ and a male-whore ( a prostitute ) so…
AndrewIB
Such sad news.. Like most here I never knew Arpad other than by his work which I admired and enjoyed immensely..For me he was the ultimate and perfect man, the top we all dream of..Who can say what goes on in a persons mind that they find themselves at such a low point that the only way out is suicide. I am sure his friends were aware that all was not well and did all they could, at least I hope so. The adult world has lost a great Star and performer, a family has lost a son and someone has lost a friend, a lover and partner..whichever it was it’s a loss. Sad news to read, it makes day to day trials and troubles shrink into insignificance. Rest Well Arpad.
CaptainFabulous
@Burlington: “Our personalities are built by the things that we lived. Qur personal story molds us internally so I don’t believe that a forum troll, a self-loathing attention whore with all the dehumanization that trolling leads has the same psychism the others have. I believe in a certain amont of sequels acting in them since when they dicided to go through this indignity till when hating themselves. Forum trolls – like ‘attention-hungers’ – are known for don’t have moral limits when persuing attention. Their personal lives are devoid of any pleasure because the propper nature of it. All is about attention and nothing about any other value. They say: – I begin in this life because I was bitter and lonely or: – I’m a forum troll because I’m a pathetic human being and I derive more pleasure from hurting other people than I do anything else, including working in a 9 to 5 job. Thinking about it I must say that forum trolls have to have some sort of mental troubles. I am a ‘forum troll star’ and an attention-whore ( a self-loathing hater ) so…”
There. I fixed that for you.
the other Greg
@Chad Hunt: This is an industry that you obviously care about, and these are often YOUR personal friends who are dying at young ages. And yet, you can’t be bothered to do anything about all this destruction and death.
You even object to anyone asking questions. Then you pretend you don’t object to anyone asking questions (apparently you realized how dumb that sounded).
You convince yourself that there can’t possibly be more than one or two of us asking questions anyway. (No, I’m not a multiple poster, and I’ve never posted on JMG.)
You declare you never said the porn industry has no problems, yet your main concern in these recurrent death threads is always, how dare anybody engage in “negativity.” (Apparently “negativity” is somehow different from “saying something negative,” or something.)
Even though you refused to do it yourself (! – bravo), you support performers’ “decisions” to engage in unsafe sex and indeed, promote unsafe sex, because you don’t want to be “judgmental.”
You support performers’ “decisions” to commit suicide, because you don’t want to be “judgmental.”
It’s a mystery where you got this bizarre, juvenile idea that being judgmental is a bad thing. But okay, point taken, you lack judgment. Perhaps you teach driver ed and tell kids not to worry about drivers heading at them on the wrong side of the freeway, since after all, being judgmental is for cops and judges?
So, Chad – do you have an opinion about what, if anything, needs to change in the gay porn industry? Because so far your stance seems to be that these guys are royalty, and “how dare you” filthy peasants ask any questions about their mysterious deaths!
You are the one being incredibly heartless here. Your attitude is always, let YOUR friends die agonizing deaths, as long as nobody says anything “negative” about them.
fredo777
@the other Greg: I don’t think exercising good judgment in your own life is the same thing as being judgmental (or, quite often, self-righteous) where others are concerned, which I seem to recall being the topic of discussion on an episode of Sex + The City once. Admittedly, I never really watched the show + only caught the odd bit of an episode here + there. That being one of them. I think Carrie came to the conclusion that she didn’t have to be judgmental to use what she saw as good judgment. Which I happen to agree with.
the other Greg
@CaptainFabulous: ooh, Chad – maybe you’re the multiple poster here!
@fredo777: Yeah, that must have been the episode where Samantha got infected with HIV and died a horrible death – either in extremis or by suicide (the writers cleverly left it vague) – and then Carrie got mad at Miranda and Charlotte for being judgmental about it. Damn, it’s uncanny, it’s exactly the same situation as the gay porn industry!
fredo777
@the other Greg: Except that it’s not. Also, I seem to remember that Carrie was the one being accused of being judgmental in the episode I’m talking about, not the other way around. Hence, her deciding that practicing good judgment didn’t mean she was being judgmental.
the other Greg
@CaptainFabulous: My comment #96 was polite, and correctly points out that Chad is the one being a heartless bastard about this, since it’s his OWN friends who are dying all the time. What exactly do you object to in it?
the other Greg
@fredo777: You’re being awfully vague regarding what the episode was about. Was it something life-threatening? Otherwise it’s not really relevant.
CaptainFabulous
@the other Greg: The problem is your entire rant is based on speculation, ignorance, and your own prejudices, and not any kind of facts or truth. Which is why many of us are telling you, nicely, to please stop.
No, you’re not being polite. You’re being disrespectful, arrogant, and hurtful. So again, please stop.
fredo777
@the other Greg: I’m being ‘vague’, because I just saw part of the ep, as I mentioned before. The end of it. I gathered it was something about what’s her face (the slutty one) being too sexy or what-have-you.
And it doesn’t have to be directly about porn, suicide, or something life-threatening. It speaks to the issue of passing judgment, which makes it relevant.
the other Greg
@CaptainFabulous: HOW? Be specific.
You seem to have your own prejudices about how the current porn business model is just fine.
You didn’t tell me to “stop.” You told me to die (#100). You’re the troll. Troll is in the eye of the beholder. You’re certainly being disrespectful, arrogant, and hurtful. But I would never *order* you to stop, because you do SUCH a good job of making your own opinions look idiotic. Rock on!
You’re defending the indefensible. You’re defending HIV infection and suicide.
the other Greg
@fredo777: I don’t recall the episode, at least from your description, but why is being “judgmental” a bad thing? We all make judgments, if only privately (true, we don’t always need to express the judgments).
Granted it is somewhat different in the case of someone who’s a personal friend. But that makes it worse, if the situation is life-threatening to the friend, and you refuse to do or say anything because god forbid anyone should think you are “judgmental.” Just let the friend die? Yeah, got that part already!
CaptainFabulous
@the other Greg: I haven’t ordered you to do anything. I have repeatedly asked you nicely to please stop. You apparently have reading comprehension issues, amongst other clearly personal problems.
Unless you’ve been in the porn industry you have no idea what the porn industry is like. Even if it is as you believe (which it’s not), these are still PEOPLE. As in human beings. They are not things. They have parents, siblings, families, significant others and sometimes even children. To claim they are all diseased or mentally impaired in some manner is not only inaccurate, but frankly, crass and shameful. To insinuate that one deserves to contract HIV or die for choosing to do porn is equally as despicable. Who are you to judge anyone? You’re nothing but a hateful, self-loathing forum troll.
There is absolutely no data AT ALL that indicates HIV rate of infection or rates of suicide is higher in the porn community than in the general population. Truth is, it is believed the rates of STIs in porn performers is actually LOWER than the general populace simply because they are constantly tested. So yet again, you assume that because people are porn performers they are HIV infected and suicidal, which is again, inaccurate, crass, and shameful.
People of all ages, lifestyles, and professions commit suicide, and for any number of reasons. And each and every time it happens it’s heartbreaking, not only for the loss of life, but also for the emotional torment left behind for that person’s loved ones. The last thing anyone needs is a jackass like you to demean, belittle, and degrade them. How dare you? Who the fuck do you think you are?
I’ve been nothing but pleasant up until now in nicely asking you to stop. Apparently nice isn’t cutting it. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. So sure, continue to prattle on. No one cares. Not about you. And not about anything you say. You are a small-minded hateful man who gets his kicks by insulting and degrading others. You are a nobody. And I’m not going to waste any more of my valuable time interacting with you. You are not worth it.
the other Greg
@CaptainFabulous: This came up in the other thread about Josh Weldon, where someone cited a NY Times article about low rates of HIV infection in the porn industry AS A WHOLE – i.e., the 90%+ heterosexual porn industry. In other words, the NY Times citation was totally irrelevant to the GAY porn industry.
Chad himself has said that gay bareback porn sells much, much better than all other forms.
Chad himself has said that gay bareback porn “PRODUCERS” make the assumption that “most or all” performers already have HIV. And Chad may (or may not?) believe the same. Well, so what if he does or doesn’t? For all we know, the porn business has changed a lot in the five years since Chad left it. Perhaps he’s no longer an expert either.
I don’t think it’s right, or in the normal course of events, that gay porn performers should all be doomed to HIV infection. You’re the ones who seem cool with that.
“I’ve been nothing but pleasant [!] up until now in nicely [!] asking you to stop.” Yeah, you told me to die (#100). That’s real pleasant of you. Go fuck yourself.
“…these are still PEOPLE. As in human beings. They are not things. They have parents, siblings, families…” etc., yadda yadda. Hey, Chad and you are the ones who are cool with them dying and killing themselves. You guys are heartless fucking monsters.
fredo777
@the other Greg: Being judgmental is a bad thing, because it doesn’t require riding one’s high horse to offer advice to a friend if he/she is doing something you disagree with or find potentially harmful/dangerous. Certainly being judgmental is a bad thing if your idea of “showing good judgment” is trashing somebody else, without even knowing him/her, based on your own assumptions + generalizations. Speaking generally, of course, since I’m sure you would never do anything like that.
the other Greg
@fredo777: Yes, certain people are making an awful lot of generalizations about me and trashing me.
All I’m doing is expressing concern about gay men getting infected with HIV and/or killing themselves. Porn per se is not my concern. I’m not even being “judgmental” about promiscuity itself, since promiscuity is not the cause of HIV.
Other posters have made wild & more sweeping claims, and since some here seem obsessed with the notion that there are multiple posters here, they may be misattributing statements to me that I didn’t make.
But Chad already said once that he wouldn’t respond further (hmph!), and now Captain Fabulous says “I’m not going to waste any more of my valuable time interacting with you.” Great! Let him/them shut up and stop killing people.
CaptainFabulous
@the other Greg: You continue under the false notion that porn=death. Apparently your pea brain can’t get passed this.
For the record I never said you personally should die. I made a humorous post about forum trolls in general. That you cannot see the distinction doesn’t surprise me.
And so what if bareback performers are HIV positive? Who cares? There is absolutely zero evidence their HIV was contracted via being a porn performer. And even if it was, again, what business is it of yours? Not your life, not your concern. And HIV infection rarely results in death (tho it’s possible, especially if one neglects their health or discontinues treatment). How someone lives their life is THEIR choice, not yours. And you certainly are in no position to judge them or anyone else, since you’ve shown time and time again by your comments that you’re a poor excuse for a human being.
Should we not grieve the loss of mainstream actors or musicians who commit suicide? What about Hollywood stunt people who put themselves in harm’s way as part of their jobs for our entertainment? How about adrenaline junkies? Wilderness fanatics? Should we all just laugh at their passing, saying they deserved it because of their life choices? Well I guess you would. But most people wouldn’t, and would find such comments to be reprehensible.
You continue to regurgitate the same fallacious arguments over and over again despite being told multiple times by multiple people that you’re wrong.
I see no point in responding to any more of your rants, since they are just more of the same nonsense. I will, as they say, stop feeding you now. And I suggest everyone else do the same in this thread, and all future ones, since it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever have anything constructive or positive to add.
the other Greg
@CaptainFabulous: “And even if it was, again, what business is it of yours? Not your life, not your concern.” etc. That’s your most bizarre and offensive comment yet! I volunteer in the HIV prevention field, and my boyfriend works in it. Do you really think nobody should concern themselves with HIV education?
Do porn performers never have sex with non-porn performers? Even if they don’t, and they’re a closed circle of sex buds… again – what a heartless monster you are, to not give a sh*t about their health.
“You continue under the false notion that porn=death.” No, I just said the exact opposite (#111).
Where did I “laugh” at Arpad? You are obviously misattributing other posters’ comments to me.
You have already declared, TWICE, that you will not respond further to me. So stop already! “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Mark Twain
Chad Hunt
@CaptainFabulous: LOLOLOL … that was funny
qwertz
I don’t understand why such successful people commit suicide. I’m unemployed and my body issues will never allow me to at least earn some pocket money with porn. Arpad’s/Peter’s look was above average and with this you not only succeed in the porn business, life is generally easier that way. I really would like to know the reason behind his suicide. He seemed to me like an absolutely reasonable porn actor compared to others, so I can only imagine it’s “secret” drug problems, as there are many people that have a far harder life and yet don’t think of suicide.
Chad Hunt
Seriously guys , I know it’s hard, because I got caught up in a whirlwind argument with this moron once myself, but we just need to ignore him and others like him.
He has accused me of all sorts of things, saying I have done this or not done that etc yet this person does not know me or know anything of what I have done for porn performers, for the industry, or for the prevention of HIV.
He seems to think that all porn performers are little children that he needs to school. That they are not adults capable of making their own decisions but need him or others to make their decisions for them.
He seems to think they all have HIV and enjoy spreading it to others. He seems to think that everyone in the porn industry knows each other, we all know exactly what goes on in each others lives and we all know exactly each others health problems or concerns.
He acts as though he is this great advocate for social change, HIV prevention, etc yet spews nothing but hateful remarks about people and hides behind several fake screenames so he can’t be identified.
He did the same thing to the Josh Weston thread that he has done to this one and it is just sad.
I can’t help but wonder if he is just some lonely person who is unloved by his family, has no friends, & no one to care for him so spews out his vomit toward people that others do care about. His arguments are always the same and generally speaks to how no one really cares about the people whose threads we post on. Seems he is trying to make them as lonely as he is.
If you look at it from a psychological profile point of view we really should feel sorry for him but he says and does things to push people away so it makes it impossible for anyone to care. He is so caught up in his own self loathing, and anger for being left alone in this world he lashes out at anyone and everyone who shows concern or sympathy toward anyone else.
He is sort of like Gollum from the “Lord of the Rings” , He both hates and loves himself, his ring is internet blogs and forums. He both loves and hates the forums. He loves the attention he gets from being an asshole but hates how people show sympathy and caring for others but none for him.
All we can ever hope to do is flag and report him which I have done repeatedly. However sites like this love the trolls because they make people post on there threads making the threads and thereby the sites seem more relevant and popular.
Viscious circle that I will not be a part of and addressing him is always pointless.
Chad Hunt
I actually think from now on when a troll speaks on these forums etc instead of addressing them directly we change the name of the person to either Gollum (when they are being morons) or Smeagol (when they are being somewhat coherent) LOLOL
CaptainFabulous
Well said, and I like that idea!
jackpapa
I’d rather talk to you anyway Chad. A maan with some real experience in the field…and a heart
Globaltraveler
@Chad Hunt:
Chad,
I don’t know you or the troll. And your last response was well thought out, articulate and cogent. Those types of remarks are alarmingly in short supply on these boards, which is the primary reason that I rarely post on them.
You’ve cited several good reasons why he might behave in the way that he does, but I think you’re overlooking the most obvious: jealousy.
You are very hot. Sexually desirable to a broad swath of the population. My suspicion is that he (and most of the other haters) are not. He either desires you or desires to be (like) you or both. And he can’t accomplish either.
So he lashes out in what he believes to be the most effective way possible. There’s nothing wrong with a difference of opinion and a healthy, intelligent, even at times heated debate. But so many people here resort to petty name calling and innuendo, which is the lowest form of discourse.
Having said that, I’m truly sorry for your loss. I’m sure he was an asset to the lives of those who were fortunate enough to have known him. Hopefully one day his friends and family will be able to think of him with only fondness and love, and not the crippling heartache they are undoubtedly feeling today.
Burlington
@CaptainFabulous: I’m not a ‘troll’ because I don’t have time to lost in such things and I’m not a person that go in a blog with the proposal to deceive others. I just try to express what I think about it. If what I sad offended you I beg your pardon but be sure I sad exactly what I think. I wasn’t trolling.
the other Greg
Chad Hunt’s arguments are always the same:
– No one should be allowed to remark in any way about the porn business, unless they have worked in it personally! In what other field of endeavor is this the rule?
– All these porn stars are adults “making their own decisions” so there is no problem! Oh well, we can have the same discussion in another two months (or less), the next time a friend of Chad’s dies “of HIV-related causes” (according to his own employers) or commits suicide.
– Supposedly I’m a multiple poster even though “Capt. Fabulous” and Chad share the exact same viewpoints and write in the same voice.
– He’ll always declare pompously that he won’t respond further… then a few hours later, for some mysterious reason, some acolyte of his like CF will say the exact same thing.
– Somehow the Queerty Terms of Service are vitally important, except when Chad decides to violate them himself as when he petulantly demanded that Queerty remove some of his OWN posts. (To Queerty’s discredit, they did it even though their Terms of Service state they will never do so.)
Okay, okay, okay – if Chad is so heartless that he doesn’t care about his own friends dying, should we all just let it go?
the other Greg
@Burlington: I had to look back quite a ways in the thread to find your comment #93. I think you’re on the wrong track. Porn performers are not “prostitutes,” and to call them that truly confuses the issue.
@Globaltraveler: ??? – I don’t know what Chad looks like. Believe it or not, not all of these *legends in their own minds* are all that famous!
@qwertz: Yes, Arpad/Peter was a nice looking guy (judging from the above pic with THIS article). He seems to have had a lot going for him. So why did he kill himself? The thing is, we are not allowed to ask why, because we haven’t worked in that business, and porn stars are royalty, and we peasants should learn our place! The argument is mysterious, but that’s their argument.
Chad Hunt
I tried twice to post Queerty’s comment policy but oddly it won’t let me for some reason. However as is always the case @Gollum is wrong.
The first paragraph explicitly says they will moderate and delete certain comments. Commenters who violate the second paragraph which @Gollum has violated each of the examples on several occasions can be blocked from posting permanently.
I think we should all right to queerty here and finally get this guy banned once and for all …
[email protected]
the other Greg
@Chad Hunt: You’ve already said several times that you won’t respond further. Maybe no one is paying any attention to me, maybe they are, but either way why are you still writing?
At any rate, I’ve already given in (#122). If you’re such a heartless monster that you don’t even care why Arpad died, and you don’t want anyone outside the business to speculate why… okay, you win! (If that’s “winning.”)
As for Queerty’s Terms of Service, it says no one should ask to have their own posts removed. It says that. But you did it, remember? Read it again.
Chad Hunt
It puts the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again. LOLOL
See everyone I’m not even talking to it yet it can’t help but try to bait me into speaking to it. It craves my attention and acknowledgement.
I never said I would stop posting only that I wouldn’t respond to it anymore.
I had asked Queerty in the past to remove comments that violated its terms of service. Comments that were addressed to the troll in question and in response to his vile rhetoric under the Josh Weston Thread. They did. It would have made no sense to delete his and not delete my responses to his vile.
Of course we can’t expect a troll to understand logic. Their brains don’t function under that capacity. They only operate under the ID they never function under the ego or superego.
The id is driven by the pleasure principle, which strives for immediate gratification of all desires, wants, and needs. If these needs are not satisfied immediately, the result is a state of anxiety or tension.
the other Greg
What’s so BAD about my posts? I haven’t been hateful – unlike the hysterical, rabid Chad et al. I haven’t been disrespectful – certainly not to Arpad.
If someone believes I’m a multiple poster, they are incorrect. I assume Queerty can ascertain that much. Be careful what you ask for there, unless the same is true of “yourself” and company.
I’ve questioned why it is somehow a rule, according to a former porn performer long out of the business, that no one is allowed to comment on the Porn Death articles unless they have also been in the business. (How recently?) That is a very odd rule which no one has ever asserted in any other field of endeavor.
My concern here is those who spew dangerous misinformation about HIV – e.g. CF’s blithely ignorant claim in #112 that “HIV infection rarely results in death” !!! – yikes.
Globaltraveler
@the other Greg:
–The Other Greg,
I don’t have a dog in this fight. I was just putting forth my own admittedly from the outside looking in spin on the little bit I’ve read of the conversation, if you want to call it that.
Certainly you’re entitled to your opinion. As unfair as it might seem, once someone makes that leap into porn, then they really are opening themselves (pardon the pun) to public inspection and ridicule, like the Kardashians. Except I have infinitely more respect for porn actors than that klan.
It’s just been my experience that the people who are down on porn actors (they’re not all stars…) inevitably follow their slurs with: “yeah, but I’d still do him”.
I never meant to disparage you personally, though rereading my post it seems as though that were my intent. For that, I sincerely apologize.
I just find the juvenile depths to which people will stoop on these boards disheartening. No doubt there is much that I could learn from many people posting here. But when people start typing IN ALL CAPS and slinging insults that are worthy of junior high school cheerleading camp then I pretty much discount anything they have to say beyond that.
In regard to this particular article; Arpel wasn’t a criminal who was gunned down by the police after holding someone hostage. He was, like all of us, a flawed individual who unfortunately couldn’t see his way clear of whatever demons had possessed him. He’s only been dead a few days. I just thought that maybe the piling on and denigrating of him could be put off until he was at least buried.
Chad Hunt
Can someone please point out to @Gollum that no where have I ever said you had to be in the porn industry to make a post about someone in the porn industry.
The only thing I have ever said is people should be respectful of the dead. Respect their choices are not yours. Respect the fact that they will be missed by family, friends, and fans and do not spew vile, hateful, unproductive, and ill informed speech.
CaptainFabulous
@Chad Hunt: Hey Chad, did you know that according to the CDC roughly 1.5% of people living with HIV over the age of 13 in the US die from AIDS-related illness each year? That’s a really small number, wouldn’t you say?
Y’know what else I find fascinating? That despite being taller than you, weighing more than you, a smidge older than you with a birthday half a year away from yours (happy belated b’day btw!), and my penis being about 1.5 inches shorter than yours we’re apparently the same person! Who knew???
dvlaries
I’ve been around here enough years to notice every porn star death -or criminal proceeding- engenders this same debate and it goes nowhere -really- every time.
*
If would be polite to wait at least until the body is cold, but by then we’ve always moved on to The Next Shiny Distraction.
*
Rest in peace, Arpad Miklos
Chad Hunt
Psychological Explanation
GREG KUMPARAK
Tuesday, November 20th, 2012
Comments trolls are the bane of most sites; where as the vast majority of people may never comment on a post (as is certainly the case with TechCrunch) those that do usually fall into one of three categories.
Legitimate commenters, who have something thoughtful to say and/ or add to the conversation (for and against).
Link spammers who comment on the off chance they might get some traffic as a consequence of their comment (sometimes these fall into the first category..hard to tell).
Trolls, who make it their business to criticize anything written and the people who wrote it, in some sort of sad attempt at self validation by being nasty towards others for the sake of it. Like taking drugs, trolling is a poor mistress that demands more and more to feed the self satisfying addiction that props up their self esteem.
New Scientist has a psychological explanation for poor behavior online. NewScientist draws the relationship between this and comment trolls.
Gee wonder which category @Gollum falls under
the other Greg
@Globaltraveler: Thanks for a polite & gracious comment.
It’s discouraging that we have these Porn Death articles literally every couple of months, but we are forbidden from asking any serious questions about WHY this keeps happening. If someone unilaterally appoints himself Queerty Editor of Porn Death Comments (if Queerty were to let him get away with it), and/or declares that these comment threads must remain merely the equivalent of a condolence book at a wake, nothing gets discussed at any cogent level.
Very well, I don’t understand the porn industry. Probably few people do understand it. So… anyone who does is free to actually explain something for a change, instead of just insulting anyone who dares to ask a question, or question our motives for simply asking. Or worse, declaring that none of it matters – i.e. let ’em die and if you’re not a personal friend of the deceased, mind your own business (!!!), which is essentially what they say.
Queerty is a news aggregator so I realize they don’t have the resources to investigate. But in another couple of months, when it happens again, we’ll have the same situation again, because we are forbidden from asking any serious questions. Or maybe because, those who might be able to give serious answers refuse to think about it.
the other Greg
@CaptainFabulous: “Y’know what else I find fascinating? That despite being taller than you…” etc.
To be clear, I really don’t care if you ARE a sock puppet of Chad’s, as long as you don’t spew ignorant HIV statistics. I merely got annoyed at being accused of being a multiple poster myself when I’m not.
“Hey Chad, did you know that according to the CDC roughly 1.5% of people living with HIV over the age of 13 in the US die from AIDS-related illness each year? That’s a really small number, wouldn’t you say?”
Actually that’s a huge number when you look into it. Add to that, the tens of thousands of people living with debilitating complications from HIV. How heartless (albeit typical) of you not to give a sh*t. At any rate, Queerty regularly reports on porn performers (like Josh W.) who do indeed die of HIV-related complications, so it’s pertinent to the porn questions.
Globaltraveler
My final post of the night.
I was friends with Adam Faust…(Faust wasn’t his real last name, but I’m not going to reveal that here) We met online and had a several month long text/email friendship/courtship before we actually met. We discussed many things. None as much as his love of cooking. The last time I saw him he said he wanted to invite me to his home and make me a home cooked meal since I travel and eat out so often. We never had that dinner. He died before we got the chance.
I didn’t know him all that well, but I found him to be sweet and kind and honest and sincere. And somehow really sad. I know that sounds overtly and overly dramatic. But there was just something about him that seemed somehow broken. His drug use never came up, and the few times we were in each other’s company, he was not using.
I found out that he had died, and dialed his number. He died at his parent’s house and his mother answered his phone. I don’t know that I’ve had a sadder conversation. My name came up on his caller ID and she addressed by my name before I had a chance to tell her what it was.
Of course all the stories of his drug use came to the fore in the ensuing days. I didn’t know him well enough to have done anything to help save him. But my goodness, what a loss.
My first exposure to crystal meth was a very good friend of mine who was hooked so badly that he didn’t have an operational toilet in his home, but he had money for drugs. I spent a weekend with him when I had flown back to Philly to put my house on the market. I had never been around anyone doing crystal, and I had no idea what was a lot or a little use. I said my good-bye to him on Monday, and he was dead that Friday.
He had always wanted to do porn, and he was in a scene in a Chi Chi LaRue movie under the name Joshua Kater. They had a “no drugs” policy on the set, but he said everyone did them anyway.
The stories that get reported always seem to be the same. I don’t doubt that the majority of people in adult entertainment make it through that stage of their life and then segue into something a bit more mainstream with a minimum of fanfare. It’s the ones that end in tragedy like this that get the press.
Many people have posted that with looks like that, what possible problems could they have? I have (luckily) had a succession of boyfriends who were heartbreakingly beautiful. They have the same insecurities as the rest of us. They just don’t get the same sympathy as the rest of us.
Chad Hunt
@jackpapa: … thanks… always a pleasure to talk to someone whois respectful of others and engage in productive conversations rather than vile, mean spirited, ill informed, rhetoric that internet trolls love to engage in.
the other Greg
Queerty’s headline and article about Arpad Miklos says he committed suicide. I have made no speculation in this thread as to “why” he did that. I did wonder “why,” thinking there may be those here who really know the answer. This is a perfectly natural question and there is nothing at all odd or outrageous about it.
“He also assumed the same thing about Josh Weston.”
Queerty’s headline and article about him declared that “Porn star Josh Weston dies of HIV-related complications.” Therefore I assumed that he probably died of HIV-related complications. (Go figure.) Chad, however, declared that was NOT the real reason but said he was not “at liberty” to explain to us what the real reason was.
demetreus
Most of these comments are just plain pathetic. This Arpad pornstar could care less about any of you and proved that by committing suicide with not so much of a care for his friends, fans or the MANY “customers” that helped him pay his bills in NYC.
Suicide is a cowardly way out.
And Chad Hunt should be ashamed of himself for spending so much time on these boards.
Pathetic.
fredo777
@demetreus: You truly could (should) have kept that comment to yourself.
Chad Hunt
Dpn’t engage the trolls. Flag and Report them. I’m sure there is some bridge somewhere that has a billy goat crossing it.
Chad Hunt
The clear problem Queerty has is internet Trolls. The best way to deal with them is to Flag and Report. I know all it takes is for them to use a different email address and sign up for a new account but if we keep flagging and reporting every time they post their vile rhetoric under all their aliases eventually they will get tired of having their accounts deleted. It’s sad that we have to do this but it is the only way to rid sites of them.
CaptainFabulous
They don’t seem all that interested in moderating this forum. Plenty of flagged comments, plenty of comments that are clearly inflammatory, harassing, and otherwise unacceptable, yet they’re still here.
Kinda makes me rethink wanting to read this site if this is the kind of place it’s going to be, where people are free to say the most vile and horrible things without any repercussions or any attempt by the site owners to moderate their forums. It really is unacceptable.
Samuel
@Chad Hunt:
1. “the flu has as much chances of killing someone as HIV”…. are you serious!
2. “Several other diseases kill on a higher percentage rate:” the only disease that i know of that kills gay men in the numbers that it does is HIV and for which there is no vaccination.
I can’t believe that you actually believe what you wrote earlier
Samuel
@the other Greg: You have the right to speak your mind and voice your views, even if it makes other people unhappy. we live in a free world.
CaptainFabulous
@Samuel: According to the CDC, the annual death rate from flu complications in the US is, on average, 36,000 (ranges from 3,000-49,000). Annual deaths from HIV-related illness in 2009 was 17,774; less than half the number that on average die from the flu.
And of course many illnesses kill more than 17 thousand people a year; for example, lung cancer killed 158,081 people in 2009, nearly 9x the number of people that died from AIDS.
So Chad is actually correct, and you are, alas, wrong. Again.
musclemutt
@Spike: Your comment about the recently deceased you know not at all isn’t quite sharp enough to be snarky nor forthright enough to be bitchy. Confusing.