A British TikTok creator has seen a recent video go viral. Itâs clearly touched a nerve with a large number of gay guys.
In the clip (click here or watch below), Joe (@jojofc88) portrays both himself as a man looking for love online, and his flatmate, a fellow gay singleton.
@jojofc88##gaydating ##gaytiktok ##lgbt ##players ##grindrproblems ##coronavirĂźs ##boredathome ##whereallthegoodguysat ##funny ##sotrue ##justforlaughs ##storyofmylife⏠Lovefool â Best Love Songs
First, Joe connects with someone online and agrees to go on a date. Fast forward five weeks and the new love interest is messaging Joeâs flatmate looking for a hookup. Joe reasons that this is OK as theyâve not discussed being exclusive yet and are taking things slowly (oh boy!).
This is followed by him receiving vague messages from his love interest days after he messages him. It ends with him receiving a message weeks later in the middle of the night. The man he dated wants to know if heâs awake, clearly just looking for a booty call.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Related: Teen loses his virginity to a Grindr catfish and ends up fleeing in tears
The video has had over 63k views. Many of the men commentating said that the clip was all too relatable.
âSo accurate and so tragic â we are doomed haha,â said one.
âPeople keep saying they want to take is slow so they can hook up with other people. So misleading,â agreed another.
In fact, several women chimed in to say that this isnât just a gay experience, but is one theyâve also encountered.
âNot much different to my dating experience with guys,â said one woman. âMen will be men no matter who they like.â
Joe, 32, told Queerty âI created that TikTok video just for a laugh but in a small way I did it to reach out to any gay men who have been let down by a guy they liked who eventually let himself fizzle away.â
âThere have been a few guys in the past that have done this to me,â he continued on a more serious note, âalthough not many. One of the lessons I learned from my first heartbreak is that âif he likes you, heâll text. If he doesnât, he wonâtâ.â
Joe says that he believes apps like Grindr have had a big impact on gay romance. He thinks many men find it hard to delete them, even after they find a nice guy, as theyâve grown so accustomed to gaining validation through them.
âIf Mr Right wants a monogamous relationship then those apps inevitably have to go. And so with them goes all those messages from all those guys that think youâre good looking enough with a hot body that they want to have sex with. That all disappears, and you are faced with trying to be content with the admirations of just one guy â Mr Right. This is the mindframe of those guys who get our hopes up, only to fade away once heâs gotten the validation of knowing that he could have you if he wanted to.â
IWantAFullBeard
We live in a society of instant gratification. None of this is a surprise.
Josh447
My experience is love finds you no matter what the modality. I never dated, I played on hookup apps occasionally then at some social affair I would meet someone and bam, I went into lockdown with that guy for years.
It happened more than once and in retrospect, I wasnât pining for love or searching for a relationship nor was he, it was a very lovely natural flow.
Right now I live with an incredible soul mate friend and love love love it. And life goes on.
I think letting love find you since it sees you clearly, rather than you looking for it like a blind man in a dark alley, works well and erases anxieties. That alone is worth it. Bottom line is: there are just some things we canât control.
WashDrySpin
This is beautiful and I can relate to this as this has been me as well….
I met my husband walking down the street then we ran into each other at the grocery store…later on in the month we saw one another at a neighborhood block party…we decided that was enough and 18 years later we are still together
Josh447
Deeyam you’re in for the long haul. Congrats.
WashDrySpin
Gay men need to strive to know the difference between dating and hooking up and act accordingly
Iona Lexiss
Ummmmmmm. There’s nothing to see here. Move along.
jojofc88
Hello readers đ Iâm Joe, a few months ago I made the TikTok that is discussed in this article. Just wanted to share a thought: this TikTok is just one of a few Iâve made that satirises gay culture. Most people that comment on my videos understand that they are satire. But Iâve had a lot of nasty comments from trolls. And it occurred to me, thereâs always an element of truth to satire. I think this is what prompts some gay men to write such spiteful comments, a sense of guilt and embarrassment that their thoughtless and selfish behaviour is not only very much noticed, but mocked. I really wish gay men would stop tearing each other down all the time. Weâd be so powerful if we were united rather than divided.