It's Fruitless, But It Won't Kill You

Gay Shift For Mormons

There’s something queer happening in the Church of Latter-Day Saints. After decades of decrying the sins of homosexuality, the Mormon church seems to be experiencing a leftward lavender slide.

In a piece over at Merrill Report, Sarah McMann tells the story of a man named Lester Leavitt, who found himself excommunicated after admitting same-sex attractions. Six months later, however, the church unexpectedly welcomed Leavitt back into their fold.

The big change came after the religion, which many see as a fringe cult, rather than an organized faith council, issued the God Loveth His Children.

Citing the scripture, the church insists that God adores all of “His children,” but still leaves open the possibility of conversion. It does not, however, prescribe reparative measures, nor does it allow for carnal transgressions:

The Book of Mormon prophet Nephi voiced feelings we all have when he acknowledged that he did not “know the meaning of all things.” But he testified, “I know that [God] loveth his children”.

In some circumstances a person defers marriage because he or she is not presently attracted to a member of the opposite gender. While many Latter-day Saints, through individual effort, the exercise of faith, and reliance upon the enabling power of the Atonement, overcome same-gender attraction in mortality, others may not be free of this challenge in this life.

In order to qualify for the blessings of our Heavenly Father’s plan, each of us was sent to this earth for a period of probation, during which we face a variety of temptations and challenges. Some of these challenges are associated with our physical bodies. Because we did not possess physical bodies before this life, we must learn to live with their inadequacies and interpret their signals, urges, and needs. And we must often learn to say “no.”… The desire for physical gratification does not authorize immorality by anyone.

Sexual desires, the paper says, can be overcome with other emotional bonds. And, of course, prayer. Even still, the ideal situation comes when a man cums into his wife and creates a child. No matter what happens, that will still be the prime objective of the religion. Mormon professor Katherine Flake paraphrases the religion’s overarching ideology:

[If you’re gay] know that a homosexual relationship is not God’s plan for you. God’s plan is that we come to earth to be like God. By the grace of God, that means getting married and having children with a member of the opposite sex. It means engendering life, because that’s what God is all about.

Sure, it sounds good in theory, but then you’ve got all those kids running around. We’re going to stick with what we know won’t yield us any guppies, thanks.