22-year-old Kyle never intended on being a sugar baby. It just sorta happened and, well, he decided to go with it.
“I was receiving monetary offers and one day started taking men up on them,” he recalls in a new interview with Insider. “From there, I gleaned I could do more and began to pursue it.”
He met most of his sugar daddies on Grindr and other dating apps.
“Over time it had been recommended as well by peers and friends who weren’t yet aware that I was already involved,” he says.
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Soon he had guys paying his rent and bills as well as buying him clothes and paying for his school supplies.
“Life was easier especially because there was always that thought, ‘Oh, if I can’t make rent or XYZ, I can just send a few texts and someone will step up.'”
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Not only that, but he found that being a sugar baby was actually rather “enlightening.”
He recalls:
It not only allowed me to explore my sexuality through the means of doing things I would have never tried otherwise … I also believe that without certain daddies I wouldn’t have survived in this city as long as I did until I could become financially independent. Something I realized later was that I did become financially dependent on this income for some time.
Despite the perks, Kyle says he often kept the fact that he was a sugar baby a closely-guarded secret because of the stigma associated with it, which he attributes to classism.
“People who have or who grew up with financial resources just didn’t understand the idea that some people come from less than nothing and without proper support systems need extraneous means to dig out of the holes of oppressive systems.”
Kyle eventually gave up being a sugar baby, he says, because he wanted to be more financial independent; however, he still keeps in touch with a few of his sugar daddies.
He hopes by being open about his story he can help dispel some of the myths surrounding sugar babies.
“These guys are not just paying for the dates or sex or whatever, they’re paying actors to play the part and that takes work and skill,” Kyle says.
He adds, “It also takes a nuanced understanding of being able to read people and what they’re really asking for under the cloaked intonations of not saying what they really want or asking for something else.”
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Kieran
I guess “Sugar baby” is a cutesy term for what used to be called a male prostitute.
charlie_jackpot
seconded
Notright
Thirded
MikeE
I was going to say another word for “gold digger”, but hey, yours is actually considerably more on the nose! So let’s go with that.
aidenatlanta
fourthed
Lacuevaman
as opposed to a female prostitute?
but we are all prostitues in one way or another.
JoshGL
Yes, a whore by any other name.
If you’re having sex to pay your rent, you’re a rent boy.
They just call it the “boyfriend experience” now.
asby
He is so brave to tell his story!!!! LoL
Mandrake
I consider myself a libertarian about this issue. If an older man wants sex with a handsome young guy who will provide it the way he wants it, and he can afford it, why not?? The “Sugar Baby” term is derogatory. If a younger guy who’s good looking and sexually willing for financial help, why should he be labeled by terms that diminish the appreciated services he provides? “Whore,” “Slut,” Prostitute.” etc. convey a wrongly negative connotation. As long as both parties are straightforward about their relationship, and health safety is a priority too, why not?
Brian
How is “prostitute” conveying a wrongly negative connotation if he’s actually a prostitute?
Sam6969
Mandrake, I agree with you. In Europe, they are called male escorts and they differ from classic prostitutes, because it implies not only a higher level of service from the escort, but also a higher level of manners from clients.
aidenatlanta
I commented earlier, but I agree with this too. Adults will do what adults do and reconcile it however they choose.
geb1966
As someone said above, “A whore by any other name…”
JamJewel
Sam6969 It became clear to me when I was a prostitute that many of my middle-aged clients were attracted to my sociability: the loved having an escort who could mix and mingle and discuss all manner of subjects in a coherent way. [It occurred to be that intelligence must have been, and still might be, the missing ingredient among prossies!] The only “higher level of service’ that I can think that I provided was my ability to actually get it up for those guys. Now! That was my big takeaway.
Sam6969
JamJewel : what I meant by a « higher level of service » is what “Kyle” said in the interview:
“
“These guys are not just paying for the dates or sex or whatever, they’re paying actors to play the part and that takes work and skill,” Kyle says.
He adds, “It also takes a nuanced understanding of being able to read people and what they’re really asking for under the cloaked intonations of not saying what they really want or asking for something else.”
”
As to your ability to get it up for all kind of guys, not everyone is able to doing that, for sure.
I wonder if you could have a personal sexual and love life with this job.
uncz1978
True. I get way too many in my area. Lots of men that can’t get dick otherwise.
Creamsicle
Sugar baby implies that he has a single sugar daddy that pays for his expenses on top of having a relationship with him. This guy is just a prostitute.
Notright
“Kyle eventually gave up being a sugar baby, he says, because he wanted to be more financial independent; however, he still keeps in touch with a few of his sugar daddies.”
Baloney!
He doesn’t do it anymore because he got tired of doing it with gross men double or more his age.
Being a sugar baby isn’t as easy as people think it is. It’s more than just being cute and spending your legs. You’ve got to play the part and most guys that are willing to be sugar daddies do so because they are domineering and controlling which can be potentially dangerous.
dwes09
Where is your usual scam advert for “penis enlargement pills” assh*le?
Prax07
A whore is still a whore no matter what other name someone cones up with, and that guy was a whore.
DCguy
Was there a meeting at the Queerty Office with the topic “We want to right ANOTHER story on a prostitute but want to make it seem new and fresh”?
ElPillo
Adults do as they wish and less attractive men with money (bullshit to Hollywood ‘a Pretty woman story) find a service here. Just don’t glorify it as something to aspire because at the end little has he done with his life and the flower of youth will be gone.
dean089
I’m never disappointed when it comes to how judgmental gay people can be. “My body, my choice.” Period. As long as it involves consenting adults it’s nobody’s f*cking business.
Brexit
I agree with “consenting adults” etc. Trying to be non-judgmental but prostitution is still prostitution. He does it through Grindr rather than on a street corner but that’s the only difference.
JamJewel
You are absolutely correct but Kyle [“…whose real name has been withheld to protect his identity but has been independently verified by INSIDER] put himself out here using a misnomer for his behavior and opens himself up to whatever feedback may ensue. One man’s judgemental is another man’s ‘joining the conversation!’
DCguy
Actually most of the comments on here weren’t judging the subject, they were judging the ridiculous relabeling of Prostitute or hustler to Sugar Baby.