Gay Tea Party Honcho Explains “Why I Oppose Gay Marriage”

A few years ago, I was on the other side of the fence on this topic. But the more I read, thought, investigated and attempted to defend my position, the more I realized that I couldn’t. I feel very strongly that gay relationships should be supported by society. I have grown convinced, however, that the term ‘marriage’ should not be altered or adjusted in any way.

Let’s face it: We should not attempt to force into an old construct something that was never meant for same-sex partnerships. We should welcome the opportunity to christen a new tradition, beginning a new chapter in the history of gays and lesbians within American society. Same-sex relationships are different from heterosexual relationships, and gay men and lesbians need to accept that and design their own tradition.”

National Capital Tea Party Patriots co-founder Doug Mainwaring, explaining why his fellow Maryland gays and lesbians should accept a separate but equal institution, in a Washington Post op-ed column.

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  • MikeE

    who is this retard?

    my relationship with my husband is EXACTLY like my mother’s relationship with HER husband.

    so what, the plumbing is different for the actual sex act.

    Except we didn’t get married for the sex. we got married for the love.

    In what way are we different in that respect?

    Love is love. Period.

  • Cam

    Gee, what a shock, the “House Gay” wants to keep sitting in the back of the bus.

  • Dumdum

    If this guy is Gay. Then I am a diminutive magical creature that grants wishes! I bet that he is really a closet heterosexual who wants to be Gay cause everyone knows that Gay people are really cool. OH MY GODDESS!!! DID THIS GUY JUST FALL OFF THE TUNA TRUCK OR WHAT??? I am not Gay, I just like to have sex with men. Great point MikeE. If my lover and I had hooked up just for the sex we would not still be together after 23 years. That’s right girls I said TWENTY THREE YEARS!!! It has to be love honey cause we ain’t no spring chickens. Traditional? You can’t get more traditional. Hell I am Donna freaking Reed with an attitude I work at home, take care of the house, he brings home the bacon and I fry it up. That man can’t even boil water. No really I think he can scramble eggs, but I won’t let him cause mine are better. PALEEZE MISS THING!!! I want to bi#*h slap him into another universe. We can’t get the Breeders to accept up on their terms what makes this guy think that we would ever get SPECIAL but equal rights??? I would like to respect is opinion and even agree with him in theory. Every race, creed, color and gender wants to believe that they are unique and special. Doug Mainwaring IS special!!! SHORT BUS SPECIAL!!!

  • Olive Austin

    And this “new tradition” would have all the rights of marriage? No, of course not.

    Separate is not equal.

  • Dumdum

    ONE OTHER THING. This Tea Party? Is it the same Tea Party that Alice had in wonderland ?

  • niles

    Washington Post: why am I not surprised? Remember when it was a bastion of groundbreaking journalism? Of course not, that was a long time ago.

  • Mjl-428

    @Dumdum: if it was, then they’d be passing around the LSD and alcohol and EVERYBODY would be having a good time

  • Dumdum

    @niles: Hey I remember stuff !!! Compared to most of you guys I am a Dinosaur. I came out in 1975 when Quaaludes were a dollar and you could live forever.

  • petensfo

    This is just more arrogance & hubris… but makes the page because it’s a gay guy.

    Why do people “oppose” marriage… when they can simply state, “marriage is not for me.”

    Who the f do you think you are, that your opinion has any bearing on the rest of us… least of all a self-hating, homo. Seriously, dude. Piss off.

  • Cam

    Isn’t it funny how the Tea Party claims to care about the U.S. laws and constitution and yet this guy seems to forget that…

    The Supreme Court declared a long long time ago that Separate but Equal is NEVER equal and cannot stand.

    Funny how they always forget stuff like that.

  • Little-Kiwi

    this is the mindset of the cowardly wimps in our community. they dont’ have the balls or spines to stand up for what’s right.

    Dear Americans, take a lesson from Canada, already.

    Know how we were ahead of the curve when it came to votes for women, being against slavery and segregation and allowing LGBT people to serve openly in the military? yeah. like that. well, we’re also ahead of the game on Marriage Equality.

    His post make no sense – what is he proposing? That we choose a “new word”? REALLY?

    Do that and you can f***ing forget calling America the “land of the free and the home of the brave” – there aint nothing free or brave about that nonsense.

    an opera is a marriage of music and text.

    is THAT usage offensive?

    let’s be real, here – this guy is saying this because he’s a plebeian wimp who doesn’t have the orbs to stand up to his fellow bigoted teabaggers.

  • dvd-junkie

    That’s no explanation at all, it’s merely a claim.

  • BJ McFrisky

    Really? A gay man doesn’t back gay marriage, so it’s OK to unload on him with insults and tirades? Someone isn’t entitled to an opinion that differs from yours? You guys are hilariously partisan, not to mention painfully close-minded. Believe it or not, marriage isn’t an issue to all gays, just like immigration isn’t an issue to all hispanics, and birth control isn’t an issue to all women. Jesus—try looking outside your liberal bubbles for a change. That’s where the real world is.

  • shle896

    How pathetic that he has to somehow rectify his party’s hatred of gays with his own homosexuality. It’s quite obvious that he hates himself and I’m sure deep down he doesn’t believe what he is saying. It’s kind of like a black person defending slavery. WTF?

  • shle896

    @BJ McFrisky: Dude, you’re as pathetic as he is.

  • BJ McFrisky

    @shle896: Dude, in what way am I pathetic? Because I happen to be gay and happen to think gay marriage is a non-issue? Do I also “obviously hate myself”? You stated of Mainwaring that you’re “sure deep down he doesn’t believe what he is saying.” Really? Why, because it goes against your personal political ideology? Well, guess what: he DOES mean it. Again: Try looking outside your liberal bubble. There are all kinds of people out there with opinions that differ from yours. And despite what the Left tells you, we’re not all evil (or pathetic).

  • Little-Kiwi

    @BJ McFrisky: We get it – you don’t support Equality either, because your piece-of-s**t family doesn’t, and loathes having to be related to you.

    So you side with the “i hate gay _____” bigots in hopes they’ll one day accept you again. Don’t worry. They won’t.

    Our liberal bubbles rock, btw . Know why? Because we’re surrounded by people who love us, accept us, celebrate us, and fight for us.

    You’ll likely never know that joy. Oh well. Not my mess. enjoy your conservative bubble where you cut off your balls in order to be tolerated and still aren’t actually accepted. :D

  • Little-Kiwi

    prove it, BJ. Let’s see who you are and who your amazing conservative allies are.

    you wont’ be able to prove it, btw. your kind never can. more gay conservatives angrily screaming from a place of anonymity because the people in your own life are hideously ashamed of you because you’re gay.

    you’re welcome, btw, on behalf of all gay liberals for the work we’re doing to ensure that future generations dont’ get born to unloving closed-minded bigots like the swine that sired you :)

  • Cam

    @BJ McFrisky: said…

    Really? A gay man doesn’t back gay marriage, so it’s OK to unload on him with insults and tirades? Someone isn’t entitled to an opinion that differs from yours?”

    BJ, you need to get a new line. EVERY SINGLE TIME anybody advocates for bigotry against gays you come in and boo hoo that the poor bigot is being picked on and bullied.

    Funny how you never seem to think that a person advocating for gays to not have full civil rights isn’t picking on gays isn’t it?

    Your only instint is to always attack gays and back the people that are opposed to rights for gays.

    You may want to have some serious thought about that.

  • Little-Kiwi

    wanna play a fun game?

    Ask the Gay Conservatives to put a name and face to their claims :D Let’s see who these amazing gay men are, with their amazing pro-gay conservatives families that …uh…don’t actually support Equality for LGBT People.

    Behind every gay conservative are the bigoted parents who don’t love them and only tolerate them as long as they downplay, compartmentalize, censor, edit, and neuter their identities as gay men.

    You’re tolerated as long as you never man-up and demand to be treated as Equals.
    We liberals dont’ have that problem. Our non-gay family and friends actually love and support us :-)

    Guys like BJ McFrisky live vicariously through their internet anonymity. They log on every day to insult Liberals from a place of hiding. Why? because in their real day to day lives they’re the embarrassments of their own people.

    pity them. they’re living examples of what anti-gay prejudice does to the weakest cowards in society.

    some advice from some straight liberal parents to you gay conservatives ;-)

  • BJ McFrisky

    Temper, temper, girls. Can’t we all just get along? puh-POW!

  • Little-Kiwi

    well, that’s the thing – we gay liberals do get along with people who support our equality as human beings. we get along :D

    here’s how it works:

    THE RIGHT WING: “we don’t want gay people be equals!”
    Gays in the Right Wing: “yeah! we dont’ want to be equals! do you guys love me yet?”

    there’s your life. enjoy it!

    i’m sorry, Anonymous BJ, that there are no straight people in your life that think you are a person of worth. must suck. i don’t have that problem :D

  • Boo Radley

    Wow, Little-Kiwi. Good on you!!

  • Little-Kiwi

    there’s a very specific reason that gay right-wingers oppose Marriage Equality – because if they did support Marriage Equality they’ll no longer be tolerated by the right-wing bigots the pledge allegiance to.

    you gotta love the anti-liberal comments from gay conservatives.

    yeah. way to be anti-liberal. i have no straight friends that oppose LGBT equality. in fact, i dont have any straight friends who would EVER support a politician or party that does NOT support LGBT Equality.

    the perks of being a liberal.

    how’s being a gay conservative working for you boys so far, eh? still surrounded by people who think you’re a lesser being, still apologizing for being gay every day?

    yeah. we dont’ have that problem.

  • Cam

    @BJ McFrisky: said…

    Temper, temper, girls. Can’t we all just get along? puh-POW!”

    So lets see here, I point out that you consistently come on here and cry that anybody who dissagrees with people who do not support gay rights are bullies and are attacking them. I also point out that you always take the side of anybody who is against gay rights.

    You in turn cannot argue my point and have no response and so make some sort of odd little attack.

    Thank you for conceding my point.

    And once again, you may want to sit back and think about why your first instinct is ALWAYS to defend whomever is attacking gays. Why do you think that is?

  • Little-Kiwi

    Cam, you’re asking a testicle-deprived coward to be honest and logical. he can’t be.

    this is what gay republicans do: they suck up to anti-gay bigots and complain about being “bullied” by liberals who….you know, support, promote and champion Equality.

    this is why they come online to anonymously vent about Liberals every day. that’s all they have left in life. sad, eh?

  • Aidan8

    @Cam: Oh snap! lol

  • Aidan8

    @BJ McFrisky: BJ, here’s my take: People on this site are frustrated (angry?) with you NOT because your gay, NOT because you don’t care about marriage-equality, NOT because you’re politics are conservative, and they DON’T think you’re not entitled to your opinions. I think what frustrates and angers people here is because you are essentially an apologist for those who oppose full civil-rights and full and equal participation in civil society for LGBTQ people. It’s OK if you don’t care about marriage…. don’t get married or try to change things! But why be a stumbling-block for those of us who do care? Get it? You’re free to live your life, including NOT getting married. You’re also free to not care about oppression, discrimination, etc. But don’t get all bent out of shape when people who DO CARE try to make change happen. Vote the way you want to… support the GOP…. but don’t you think it’s silly for you to expect other LGBT folks to embrace you as you actively (or by inaction or apology) work against them??

  • Little-Kiwi

    Aidan – same thing: you have to understand that the only way gay republicans are tolerated is to agree with the anti-gay policies of their own party. it’s incredibly sad.

  • FStratford

    @BJ McFrisky:

    It is not a non-issue to him. If it were a non-issue, he would not have a position. He opposes gay marriage so it IS an issue to him.

    Youre either a liar or have some serious reading comprehension issues.

  • BJ McFrisky

    @Aidan8: Whoa there, sonny, I never asked or expected to be “embraced” by my fellow commenters on this site. Hell, my liberal friends give me enough shit as it is for my POVs; I don’t need to add more to my platter. No, I just feel the need to point out that the opinions here aren’t sacrosanct, especially when it comes to things like the Tea Party, which the Left has characterized as racist and homophobic. I know first-hand that it is neither—most of the people here “know” what the very liberal media tells them.
    And for the record, I’ve never worked against gay causes—ever. There are simply some causes that I believe are counter-productive and make us look like whiners. It bothers me when we claim same-sex marriage is “our civil rights movement.” The Civil Rights movement was about people being treated as less than human by society, and not being able to marry is hardly the equivalent, in my opinion, which tends to paint us as petty.
    On another note, I’d like to thank you for your mature and level-headed response. As you can see, the responses I elicit around here tend to be less than civil.

  • gsingjane

    I don’t throw names or rocks, but I think it’s safe to say that the reason people are so upset with Mr. BJ is that, in point of fact, supporting marriage equality IS a sine qua non of respecting and supporting LBGT rights. I think it IS a litmus test, and it ISN’T something on which “reasonable people can differ.” Is it the only LBGT rights issue out there? No, of course not. Just as with African-Americans, the right to marry was important, but so were the rights to employment, fair housing, and voting. But, nobody can seriously contend that the right to marriage isn’t among the most important rights to be claimed by LBGT people. As the other posters have noted, an individual may choose, or not, to marry, to vote, to seek to live in a particular place or to seek a particular job. Those individual decisions may mean that the given right is of more or less importance to that person, but it certainly doesn’t negate the importance of that right to the group. And, opposing that right simply due to one’s personal preference strikes me as fairly short-sighted and a bit selfish as well. Perhaps one day even Mr. BJ would like to get married!

  • Aidan8

    @gsingjane: So well said. Thank you.

  • balehead

    Actually Canada will probably lose their equal rights for gays once they partner their embassies with Britain….

  • Cam

    @BJ McFrisky:

    You still haven’t explained why your first instinct is to always defend the person attacking gays and our civil rights, and to always attack gays when they disagree with those people.

    Again, why is that your permanent fallback position? You can pretend that I am attacking you or that this is somehow an angry response. But I think it is a very straightforward question. I have never seen you on here ever disagreeing with anybody who attacks gays. What you always seem to do is attack gays who are not happy with the position of the person who wants to strip away gay civil rights.

    Again, why do you automatically default to the position of defending the people who attack gays?

  • Aidan8

    @BJ McFrisky: “And for the record, I’ve never worked against gay causes—ever. There are simply some causes that I believe are counter-productive and make us look like whiners.”

    And this, in my opinion, is what you are not seeing: You ARE working against a gay cause. Although you don’t care about it, marriage equality is a big issue for many in the community. By supporting the GOP, by actively and lengthily commenting here (and elsewhere?) against marriage equality, you ARE working against a gay cause. I can tell you that I have numerous LGBT clients (single and couples) for whom this is a huge and life-affecting issue. It’s not the only issue, for sure, but it’s important and has very real effects on people’s lives.

    I’ll draw a parallel that hopefully helps: Another LGBT “issue” is employment discrimination. I think everyone can agree that employment discrimination based upon sexuality is wrong. But let’s say I’m retired or otherwise don’t work and this issue is really low on what I consider the important issues facing the LGBT community. Because of this, I tend to speak out against those who are advocating for employment non-discrimination policies and laws that protect LGBTs. I also vote for a political party that strongly and actively opposes such policies. By doing this, and whether I intend to or not, I am “working against” the goal of non-discrimination in employment for LGBTs.

    As I see it, this is a direct parallel to your actions regarding marriage-equality. You may use different language and you may be civil. Yet, your words and actions advocate for the same result argued for by the uncivil and reactionary far-right. You’re just being less caustic in your approach. And this is why I’ve used the word “apologist” before in this context. IMHO, if you want to advocate against marriage equality and support the GOP, then you have to at least admit that you are “working against” a cause important to many LGBTs and supporting a party that actively and explicitly advocates against many of the goals we have for full civic participation in our society.

  • Aidan8

    BJ…. no response to my above comment???

  • Dumdum

    @BJ McFrisky: Did you just fall off the tuna truck.!967 saw the repeal of inter-racial marriage prohibition. To many people that was a non-issue. Forcing Black people to use separate bathrooms and drinking fountains was a non-issue. Homosexuality as a mental disease was a non-issue until 1973. And YOU whine about liberals and the invasive Big Brother Government. THAT my friend is a NON-ISSUE.

Comments are closed.