What is it about us as queer folk that convinces our cishet counterparts that they can make any comment, no matter how awkward, uncomfortable, or downright offensive?
In a recent thread in the r/AskGaybrosOver30 community, Reddit users shared the “strangest/oddest/craziest” questions and remarks they’ve fielded about their sexuality. And as you can see below, no topic is off-limits and no viewpoint is offensive for some straights!
Read these responses and wince…
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“‘I’m OK with you being gay because you’re not like the other ones.’”
“‘So, when you have sex, is it the guy who got f*cked’s responsibility to deal with all the sh*t?’”
“A lady assumed that I became gay by getting paralyzed from the waist down and therefore losing desire for women. (I’m in a wheelchair, but I’m not paralyzed at all, I was born this way. And I’ve never had any desire for women; there was nothing to lose.) Interesting ideas about human anatomy.”
“My friend came out to his brother, who replied, ‘Oh, I don’t believe in that,’ to which my friend replied, ‘I told you I’m gay, not the Easter Bunny.’”
“I have been asked so many times if I have wanted to transition to a woman the past few years… I am a large man with a beard, do not dress femme or have any femme tendencies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—I love my femme and trans brothers and sisters, but the connection is so strange and kind of insulting.”
“The first day at college, I sit beside this absolutely jacked guy who was training for a bodybuilding competition. At the end of the day, he goes, ‘Be honest with me. Do you think I’m hot?’ Like, it puts you in such an awkward position.”
“I was on a small IT team in south Alabama at the time, and my coworkers and I were just standing around my desk informally catching up on the weekend and projects. New boss, only in the role for a week, comes by to join in and casually asks me, conversationally, in front of the whole team, ‘So, tell me, are all gay men whores? The last time I worked with a gay, he seemed like it.’”
“One of the strangest comments I received was, ‘I can’t believe you’re gay—you don’t dress like it.’ Another odd question was, ‘Do you ever worry about running out of things to talk about, since you don’t have kids?’ It’s amazing what people think is appropriate to ask!”
“A coworker kept asking if my friend or I would kiss him so that he could prove how secure he was in his heterosexuality. And then came the questions about what we, as gay men, considered to be a large penis. He was convinced that he had a nice-sized penis but that we, as gay men, would probably consider it small. At one point, he was practically begging me to follow him to the bathroom so that he could get my firsthand opinion.”
“‘So, like, who is the girl?’ ‘So, you’re kind of like best friends who get to have sex?’ And the kicker: ‘You can get married, so don’t you think you guys can drop all of the inequality and Pride crap now?’”
Related*
Reddit users list the “main advantages” of being gay
Eight words were all it took to kick off this lively discussion.
“‘So, like, how did you know you’re gay?’ I usually answer it with, ‘Well… how did you know you’re straight?’”
“Some chick trying to pick me up at a bar: ‘You won’t be gay after a night with me!’ Sorry, but I would have been extra, extra gay after that.”
“At dinner with a large group of coworkers, a young woman asked if I had a girlfriend, and I said that I’m gay so I date men. She said, ‘Oh, that’s OK. I’m from Montreal.’ I still laugh about it. I think she meant, ‘I’m cool because I’m French and from a city.’”
“A guy at school asked me how many diapers I needed per day. Because of the incontinence caused by anal sex. I didn’t know what to say.”
“Someone once asked me if gay men have an orgasm when they pass stools. I’m still unsure whether he was being serious.” (Another commenter replied: “The high padded bar ones in Crate & Barrel? I sure do.”)
Reddit comments have been edited for brevity and clarity.
still_onthemark
“The first day at college, I sit beside this absolutely jacked guy who was training for a bodybuilding competition. At the end of the day, he goes, ‘Be honest with me. Do you think I’m hot?’ Like, it puts you in such an awkward position.”
I always liked that kind of question, it’s such a charming mix of insecurity, sincerity, and flattery. Just say YEAH (even if you’re thinking no) and you’ll see the biggest smile you see all day.
MISTERJETT
one that comes to mind is on the job, someone from a branch office came to my department and he was kind of heavy set and very effeminate. after he left someone questioned whether he was gay or not and some genius(female) said “he couldn’t be gay because he’s fat”.
Man About Town
Don’t forget this old chestnut: “How do you know you wouldn’t like having sex with a woman if you’ve never tried it?” One response that shuts them up: “How do you know you wouldn’t like having sex with a porcupine if you’ve never tried it?”
Also, a guy once told me his str8 friend actually said to him “I don’t mind your being gay, but why do you have to act on it?” I said “Wait, you consider this jackass to be a FRIEND?”
SUPREME
a lot of people think that all gay men want to be women.
boulou
One of the things that bothers me most about straight people is their obssession with anal sex when it comes to male homosexuality. They seem convinced that we do anal at every intercourse and that it hurts and it’s dirty. They are so ignorant and prejudiced about the body, desire and sex!
GayEGO
I learned about being Gay in the Navy. I was on a destroyer and was asked by a guy from Illinois – Are you Mike Hunt? Guess what that means. Then I was asked – Do you know Dorothy? And then I met a drummer from Peabody Massachusetts and we fooled around! A fellow from California asked me – Do you want to go to a gay bar? I said what’s a gay bar. He said come with me and find out!