Gays Up In Arms Over Gamer’s Gay Guessing

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A group of gay gamers are taking on Games Radar over the website’s preposterous article, “Are They Gay” in which they dissect a number of video game characters to find out what makes them, well, gay.

For example, the game-obsessed geeks take a look at Kratos from the video game, Gods of War:

Sure, he’s violent, full of rage and enjoys pleasuring generously breasted ladies, but he’s still a buff, bald-headed, semi-naked Greek Adonis that isn’t shy of flashing an inch or two of thigh. He also ‘accidentally’ killed his wife and daughter. Which probably means he’s got a grudge against women. Or something.

Sure, it’s a bit offensive and perpetuates negative stereotypes (are there really any others?) that gay men hate women, but it’s not really that disrespectful. It’s just plain absurd.

Though ridiculous, their analysis of Kratos doesn’t rival the writer’s summation of Marcus Fenix (pictured below) from Gears of War:

As a soldier, Fenix obviously enjoys the company of other men and probably enjoys some healthy, hetero-male rutting with his comrades back at the barracks during R&R. He’s also spent a stretch in prison and we all know that prison is a non-stop orgy of man-on-man love. Oh, and he also wears a bandana. God only knows what he’s got on under all that macho armour.

So, he may be gay because he went to prison and wears a bandana? That would certainly increase our ranks, to be sure.
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While we don’t really care what these geeks have to say about their virtual friends, some more zealous queer defenders are up in arms. UK’s Gay.com editor Hassan Mirza griped:

While it’s reassuring to know that gamers are interested in the sexual orientation of digital superheroes, Matt Cundy’s ‘Are they gay?’ article relies on a series of juvenile stereotypes and clichés.

I can’t imagine any homophobic intentions, but it can be dangerous to suggest that looking “camp” [as they described a Zelda character] means gay, or worse, that gay men hold violent grudges against women. It’s a completely misinformed suggestion.

Sure, it’s misinformed, but, more importantly, it’s moronic.

First of all, who cares if a video game character’s gay? Seriously, they’re not real. Yeah, it’s nice to have gays represented everywhere, but it seems to us that since the characters are fake, all you have to do is use your imagination, something you should really be doing anyway…