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Gays Would Ruin the NFL Because They’d Be ‘Thinking About Running Back to the Showers’

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We just got done imaging what a country this would be if a professional baseball player (who’s still in the MLB) came out, and now we’ve got to start thinking about what would happen in a football player did the same? Too much sports! But also: It’s fun to dream up fairytales.

But as with all things gay and sports, you’re bound to hit a rough patch. While sending the topic to its “panel,” the Washington Post turned to folks like retired running back and openly gay David Kopay, who came out in 1975, three years after his NFL career ended. Kopay is all for an active NFL player to come out!

Not so enthusiastic, however, is Kenneth Hutcherson, a former NFL linebacker and current pastor of the Antioch Bible Church. You might’ve heard Hutcherson’s name before — he’s the guy who’s always there with a soundbite to declare how gay rights are not civil rights, and that comparing our struggle to the 1960s civil rights movement is a farce. So don’t look shocked that when asked whether NFL players should be coming out, he responds, “if a teammate has different views about what they’re attracted to in the showers it’s going to affect the team. It’ll destroy the oneness.”

Grab a spit-up cup, because it gets worse:

Men are going to be more comfortable with other heterosexuals. It’s like having a woman on the team or having a woman in the shower. How can you keep your mind on the game when you’re thinking about running back to the showers? It would have a tremendous effect. It would be safer for the team and the individual if they didn’t come out.

When you have a team worth millions and millions of dollars anything that would mess with the oneness must be removed from the team. Homosexuality is a very divisive issue — it would affect the camaraderie.

It’s not a civil rights issue like with racism — there’s no comparison. That’s not even apples and oranges, that’s like comparing apples to Chevys. Has a homosexual ever been considered 3/5ths of a person? Has a homosexual ever had to sit at the back of the bus? Has a homosexual ever had to use a different bathroom? I can’t change being black… but there are a lot of people, especially in our churches, that have changed being gay.

[…] What if a guy went out for the girl’s volleyball team? It’s just commonsense… but I don’t know why they call it commonsense anymore because it’s not very common.

At the very least, we appreciate Pastor Hutcherson — who is currently battling cancer — for looking into the economics of it all.

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