International Affairs

German Men Suck As Lovers, Says Survey Of 15,000 Women

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A survey of over 15,000 women has found that German men are, well, not serving the bratwurst the way they should be.

The Telegraph is reporting the results of the survey conducted by research site OnePoll, which asked a variety of women from different countries to rate different nations on their sexual prowess and give reasons behind their rankings.

Germans? Too smelly. Englishmen? Too lazy. Swedes? Too quick. As for us Americans? Apparently a bit too rough, though we’re sure that wouldn’t be such a bad thing if the survey was made up of gay men.

On the flip side, the women listed the best lovers by country, and at #1 and #2 on the list were Spain and Brazil, respectively. Here are the countries with the best and worst lovers in the world:

WORST:

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)

BEST:

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

So there you have it, your travel itinerary for the next few years. Don’t say we never gave you anything.