Get Over It and Get Pretty: Make-Up For Guys

610x3Oh sure, there was always Rob Thomas and his raccoon eyes, but the rise (and acceptance) of male make-up on the very modern model of a trendy metrosexual comes from two unique and opposing faces. In one corner, you have Pete Wentz, proponent of guyliner and super-duper emo action raccoon eyes. In the other, Zac Efron, King of Twinkopia, whose been spotted walking the red carpets wearing fake eyelashes, foundation, blush and lip balm. Whether “mancake” is acceptable for straight guys or not has been the subject of many probing in-depth journalistic exposés, but since we’re gays, we’re just going to skip the hand-wringing and move right on to all the pretty, pretty make-up that’s out there for boys.

Guyliner

If there’s any one single bit of make-up guys can get away with these days, it’s eyeliner. Jack Sparrow does it, as does Russell Brand, Brandon Flowers, Pete Doherty and of course, Mr. Wentz, who recently said, he may be giving the make-up pencil a rest.

Who It’s For:If you want that rock star, hard-partying look without all the late-night effort, look no further than guyliner. There’s a definite emo-punk aesthetic attached to guyliner, so keep your guyliner to events that a rock star could conceivably attend. That is, grocery shopping in eyeliner isn’t ironic, it’s just sort of sad.

Brands for Guys: Pretty much any black eyeliner pencil (color is not an option) will do, but Taxi Cosmetics manufactures a brand called “Guyliner” that is “chunkier than the female equivalent and therefore easier for men, who have bigger hands.”

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Mascara

In much the same territory as guyliner, mascara is meant to make your eyes look dramatic and moody. Again, that means sticking to basic black and thinking you’re a rock star. You can double up and do a guyliner, mascara combo for maximum impact, but be careful not to overdo it or you’ll just look like the victim of a hate crime.

Who It’s for: Men who are not ready for guyliner, but still want to look sensitive and artsy.

Brands for Guys: Studio 5ive offers up a Double Stroke Cream Mascara that promises to glide on smooth without clumps “unlike women’s mascara”, which is funny, because that’s what all women’s mascara promises, too. It comes in a single shade of brown.

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Concealer

At some point or another (namely during your pimply teenage years) you’ve reached for your Mom’s foundation to cover up skin blemishes. Well, there’s a better way to go about doing it than to turn into a human pancake: concealers, designed to conceal. It’s important not to apply concealer to anything that’s – how to put this politely – oozing, since you’ll just wind up looking like a creepy zombie.

Who It’s For: Everyone at some time or another. No reason to allow a date to be ruined because you have a giant red spot on your forehead.

Brands for Guys: The best (and most pedigreed) is Yves St. Laurent’s “Touche Éclat for Men”, part of a whole line YSL makes for guys. At the very least, the pen looks pretty butch.

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Bronzer

Zac gets his effortless glow from a bottle, so why shouldn’t you? After a long day at work, getting that sun-kissed look can be nearly impossible and with the sun being a giant ball of cancer, bronzer can help make you look, if not Effron fresh, a bit more youthful.

Who It’s For: Angelenos, or people hoping to look like Angelenos. This goes doubly so if your name happens to be Ryan Seacrest.

Brands for Guys: Clinique Skin Supplies for Men offers up a non-streak bronzer that avoids many of the pitfalls of lesser brands—namely, that orange Oompa-Loompa look. It’s not face cream, though, so be sparing. And always use less than you think you need.