Gigolos star Nick Hawk just insured his penis for $1 million because, hey, you can never be too careful with your moneymaker, amirite?
Cosmopolitan caught up with the ripped reality star and asked him the questions that would be on our minds if we interviewed him: namely why, how, and…what about theft?
Why did you need to insure your penis, especially for $1 million?
Fifty Shades screwed me. Most people are inexperienced [in bondage] and just getting into it, so they’re a little too rough. Everybody wants to beat each other up now, and not everybody knows how to do it effectively. It also doesn’t help that I took on this “bad boy” image, so I decided to get the insurance. We called Lloyds of London first because they were the most well-known one for insuring celebrities’ body parts, but they were not interested.
Why do you think they weren’t interested?
Business ethics, morals, values, I don’t know. Who knows? They’re probably haters. We found another insurance company though, Geldin insurance. They were cool with it but they weren’t sure what to think of it at first. We actually did an episode ofGigolos around getting the insurance too. It was good TV.
How expensive was it?
It wasn’t that bad, because it’s very unlikely that something crazy is going to happen to my penis, but it is a possibility for sure. I’m this big sex symbol now with the sex toy line and the TV show. If anything happened to my penis, that would take a big stab at my career for sure.
And of course we wouldn’t want anything to happen to his penis, now would we? The conversation took a kinky turn when Hawk got into the, um…mechanics and necessity of penis insurance:
What does the insurance cover?
Everything is covered, including theft.
Yeah. “Anything that contributes to the direct dysfunction” I believe is how it’s worded. So it could be some kind of an injury from, you know, anything. My main concern is women getting wild with me because they think that I’m the person that they can get wild with. I’m always worried when sex gets going hard and fast that, you know, my penis will flip out and bend back. I’ve heard some horror stories about them breaking.
When did it finally occur to you that you really needed to insure your penis?
This last year, but it’s been in the back of my mind for a while ever since I started doing the gigolo thing. I like doing rough stuff with hair-pulling and scratching and all that, but it also can be done too hard and inexperienced people seem to tend to be a little more abusive and go a little too hard.
Seems like this guy is really putting the work into sex work. We wish him the best of luck, and…be careful with that thing!