Not since ex-gay Antoine Dodson arrived on the scene with his tale of the bedroom intruder who was raping everybody have we been so riveted by a first-hand news report. On his way to buy a “piece of burger from Burger King,” Courtney Barnes, a very spirited Mississippian with a florescent green ponytail and matching talon polish who recently appeared on So You Think You Can Dance, witnessed a “horrible, tragic” automobile accident involving a Jackson, MS police officer. In Barnes’ skilled hands this recount becomes an emotional monologue that would make Tennessee Williams weep with envy.
We mean, it was so intense that Barnes’ hunger just went away.
“When I seen the accident, girl, I just began to be nosy and had to understand that somebody was experiencing this difficult moment,” Barnes shares before taking a short break to compose himself so he can continue to break it down for the MS News Now reporter.
“Girl, he hit the pole!” Barnes tells TV viewers. “The police car just twist around like a tornado, girl, and the lord just shook it up and the man got injured and now the the police don’t know if his life is gonna make it or he just gonna tap out.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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This raises many questions: Did Barnes eventually get his piece of burger? Can MS News Now hire him to break down every news story? Can someone Autotune this STAT? Girl, check out the dramatic interpretation below.
H/t: LoveBScott
Jayson Dahl
Janene Andersen u need to watch this video!
Jim Thompson
Brian Dahl
David Friend Horn
God love ’em lol In honor of National Iced Tea day Iced Tina Maria lol
Justin Wells
Omg, Richard. It’s a miracle!
Mark Hayes
Omg! Jason, Eric and Heath… He missed out on getting his piece of burger from Burger King.
Regg Valencia
I freaking love this!
Jimmy Lee
She done already had herses I believe. Living for those acid green back scratchers too hunty!! On fleek baby, werk!!
Will Glitzern
Courtney…you’re famous!
benandy
She is some piece of burger, er, word salad. But, girl, I’ll give her an eleven for enthusiasm!
Marcas Miles
Oh boy!
Glücklich
DAFUQ?!
Made my eyes and ears hurt. I grimaced through ten seconds and couldn’t take anymore. Can someone euthanize this STAT?
Masc Pride
This is exactly how I picture Giancrazy. Too funny!
Ryan Michael Darsey
Sean Wilson
Jason Carbino
Edgardo John Shana Shawna Robert this is awesome!!!
Jonathan David Messer
Will Simons
Matt Gratz
Pinot nior Kelsey Reeves
Louis
This guy is awesome so funny and so utterly likeable. 🙂
I loved this guy on SYTYCD but I found myself tuning out by episode 2due to the annoying immature and intolerant attitudes of both Nigel Lythgoe and Jason Derulo whenever any gay dancers auditioned.
Shameful .
Love this guy though and I really wish I could go one day without seeing someone expose their own intolerance and insecurities about certain people within this community.
Sad that this mentality never changes for the better . SMH.
Mike Moffitt
Jody this is for you
Louis
@Jimmy Lee: LOVE THIS COMMENT LOL
John Smith
David….you gotta.
Aaron Joseph
Fiercest impression of a horse I’ve ever seen.
David Goguen
Sad situation but OMG this is so funny. “Submerged” hahaha
QJ201
Irony:
Can’t laugh at (white) Caitlyn Jenner, but it’s a riot to laugh AT this (black) girl.
Progress?
Darnell Thrasher
Kangol
Werk, gurl! And you know she doesn’t hold her head down in shame, and neither should any other out LGBTIQ person!
Bob LaBlah
Umph, umph, umph, umph, UMPH. Lawd, ham’ murcy. “wonder if the po’leece officer made it? Umph, umph umph umph, UMPH UMPH UMPH (stopping to spit in empty Mawwell House can). Lawd, jesus. I tell you. That child got traumatized by that and I hope they offered her something to calm her nerves.
So help me if ol’ Noxema Jackson had a son and the mother took him and raised him down in ol’ Mississippi girl here would be it. Noxema Jackson……Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar…..Wesley Snipes’ drag movie. Now did it hit you guys who I’m talking about?
Alex Manresa
He’s like a gay version of batman’ nemesis, the joker. Look at those green nails.
Arcamenel
This is why masculine gays will always look stupid when trying to claim they are ostracized within the gay community. Just look at all the ugliness in the comments.
Desert Boy
Wanda Green Jackson breaking it all down. HAHAHAHAHA
Robert Cella
You work it GURL
Layla Jimenez-Slade
OMG! that was hilarious! !
DarkZephyr
@Arcamenel: I have to actually agree with you here.
aliengod
How embarrassing!
judysdad
Enough to make me turn in my gay card. Not funny.
Glücklich
@QJ201:
Caitlyn Jenner has maintained some dignity, therefore not a figure of fun. Not true of Courtney Barnes and whatever that HORRIFIC makeup is supposed to be. Divine’s unibrow?
Sergio Lopez
Jeremy Luis
Luis Aguilar
Is that Laganja? Sergio
Jae Pukma
Katelyn Marie haha
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Fem black gays used to be James Baldwins…and could be again…yeah right!
Enjoy the show, “huntys”
F. Jay Ver
Give it up for Feathers!
Masc Pride
@Arcamenel: There’s enough ostracizing in the gay community for all types. I totally don’t see all the ugliness you’re referring to. Seems generally favorable in here. Even so, there’s lots of ugliness directed at more masc and bi guys as well. Trust me.
@QJ201: This is a dude. The article refers to him as a male:
“On his way back from buying a ‘piece of burger from Burger King’…”
Chris Lain
Sara Purdom
Bob LaBlah
All bullshit aside, Courtney that was a nice of you to stop to see if you could assist. I commend you for it. If ANY one of us had been in that bad of an accident I bet we all would have welcomed your assistance.
Myk Abadies-Evans
His life is so colorful. Girl u go girl
Yuel Miko Greganda
Steven Sapunarich
Devon Jennings
You can find this kween on the current season of SYTYCD… lol #SassyFlash
Saint Law
@aliengod: “How embarrassing.”
But you didn’t post anything. You’re right though, if you had it would have been.
Christopher Curley
lol ð???
Steven Sapunarich
Lane Fikes
Xzamilio
What kinda transgender Seabiscuit nonsense is this???
Xzamilio
You betta work, bitch!!!
jason smeds
This is tragic, and I’m not talking about the accident.
Phil Gbl
Janine Hocevar Janina Simon Christine Krs John Tuff Laura Alexandra Lauro
alex arias
Tiresome already
bottom250
He is so fabulous. I am proud of myself and all effeminate men we are strong and powerful individuals who live our genuine fabulous life.
Eric Rodriguez
Eddie Kub
McShane
“And the police car, just twist around like a TORNADO GIRL!”
…SNAP…
…SNAP…
…SNAP…
Dip this man in 24K, ’cause he’s a superstar.
Sluggo2007
WOW! Talk about the African Queen!
judysdad
His is studied and affected behaviour. It goes beyond merely effeminate. He thinks he’s cute and funny. He is neither.
bottom250
@judysdad: He is cute and funny, honey.
David Jenkins
Dude fix your makeup
mcdfishfilla
@judysdad: Sit your tired hating behind down somewhere or in this case spin it like a tornado girl!
UWSguy
I think she’s tremendous.” –patsy
Luis Collazo
There are some interesting people out there!
Glücklich
@jason smeds:
For once I agree with you.
Angela Alvarado
News would be so much more interesting if it was always reported this way. lmao
jayj150
@QJ201: I share your sentiment in that America is still terribly hypocritical in the way it treats white, wealthy people and POC, but, why are you calling this person a girl?. Nowhere on the article does it say Courtney is transgender or that she identifies as a girl. I hope you’re not assuming he is a girl simply based on the mannerisms, and the long, green hair and nails. There IS such a thing as gender-non-conforming men. The assumption that if you are ‘effeminate’ and you like stereotypically ‘feminine’ things it’s because “you are really a girl” is in itself very homophobic.
Black Pegasus
So is this the secret to seeing a Black Man featured on the front page of Queerty? Act like a non threatening stereotypical gay coon?
Ok got it!
Glücklich
@Xzamilio:
Is it this nonsense?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL37RDS2Qiw
Gina Davies
Louisa Maynard
Sven Guen
I know this girl is living, girl!!!
polarisfashion
The smoke got to me, I got bronchitis! Ain’t nobody got time for that! Someone please auto tune this!
IanHunter
Find her and give her a show named “Fabulous”!
Maude
At first, I thought he was a burn victim wearing some sort of prosthesis.
Louis
@Arcamenel: agreed completely interesting how they always tell the people they mock and bully to stop being “sensitive”.
Louis
@Black Pegasus: I really wish this site would screen it’s posters your comment was typical attention whoring and uneducated as well.
Louis
@Maude: I’m sure shriners hospital would really find that insensitive comment about burn victims funny.
takingliberties
What a monologue!
Billy Budd
Sorry guys, this is SO bizarre it can’t even be funny. It is horrible!
Benjamin Alexander Starr
Nathan Wilson Sade Reilly Iana Ramos
silveroracle
All I can think is, how much slap has she got on?!
Giancarlo85
@Masc Pride: “Even so, there’s lots of ugliness directed at more masc and bi guys as well. Trust me.”
Total utter bullshit. You come in here and peddle all sorts of nastiness towards feminine gay men because they are very offensive to someone like you. You hate them because of who they are, and how open they are.
Artemas
Reminds me of a recurring Dark-Hunter character
ChickenLady
OMG!!!!!!! I’m a troll!!!!!!
Black Pegasus
@Louis: YOU read my comment so the mission was accomplished. Next time try responding to the content within my comment instead of trying to silence the voices you don’t want to hear. Now go fuck off!
Louis
@Black Pegasus: thank you for proving your immaturity and violating the rules of this site.
Pitiful .
Louis
@Black Pegasus: I did respond to your comment hence why I referred to YOU as uneducated .
Coon indeed grow up already .
Louis
@Black Pegasus: I did respond to your comment hence why I referred to YOU as uneducated .
Coon indeed grow up already .@Giancarlo85: claps I’ve seen this attitude first-hand from this individual.
martinbakman
@judysdad: Right, as if life is his own reality show. Does being flamboyant ever get tiresome? Can he turn it off or is it just ingrained so deeply that at some point one doesn’t even hear themselves.
Louis
@martinbakman: your personal prejudices are your issue so stop trying to make others feel as if they should be ashamed and embarrassed by themselves for being who they are and being completely open and vulnerable in that regard.
I for one champion these individuals they are NEVER afraid to be themselves they are real and authentic always.