Not since ex-gay Antoine Dodson arrived on the scene with his tale of the bedroom intruder who was raping everybody have we been so riveted by a first-hand news report. On his way to buy a “piece of burger from Burger King,” Courtney Barnes, a very spirited Mississippian with a florescent green ponytail and matching talon polish who recently appeared on So You Think You Can Dance, witnessed a “horrible, tragic” automobile accident involving a Jackson, MS police officer. In Barnes’ skilled hands this recount becomes an emotional monologue that would make Tennessee Williams weep with envy.
We mean, it was so intense that Barnes’ hunger just went away.
“When I seen the accident, girl, I just began to be nosy and had to understand that somebody was experiencing this difficult moment,” Barnes shares before taking a short break to compose himself so he can continue to break it down for the MS News Now reporter.
“Girl, he hit the pole!” Barnes tells TV viewers. “The police car just twist around like a tornado, girl, and the lord just shook it up and the man got injured and now the the police don’t know if his life is gonna make it or he just gonna tap out.”
This raises many questions: Did Barnes eventually get his piece of burger? Can MS News Now hire him to break down every news story? Can someone Autotune this STAT? Girl, check out the dramatic interpretation below.