Global Penis Envy: David Beckham’s Package May Be Responsible for Growing Penoplasty Demand

You’re not the only one that got a boner watching a nearly-naked David Beckham run through the streets in a recent commercial for his new H&M underwear line. According to a report published by The Sun, plastic surgeon Roberto Viel claims he’s seen an uptick in male enhancement surgeries in the last few years, and our overwhelming obsession with celebrity genitalia is to blame.

Um, does he expect us not to look at David Beckham’s junk while he’s climbing out of a pool in his underwear?


“For millennia, having a bigger penis has been a status symbol,” says Viel, who performs over 300 penoplasty surgeries per year. “It’s only very recently that men have been able to do something about that. If there’s a solution, why not use it?”

You don’t have to be a size queen to know there’s no such thing as too big. Viel claims his clients come from “all walks of life,” are mostly in their 30’s and 40’s, and all seek penoplasty as a self-esteem and relationship booster. “They simply feel self conscious in the gym changing room or when wearing swimming trunks,” he says.

If you’re willing to drop an extra 4,000 pounds for a few extra inches at Viel’s clinic, you’ll probably see improvement in your sociability and love life (like the enthusiastic lads interviewed by The Sun). It seems like a bargain for a bigger dick, but the procedure doesn’t come without risks, says Dr. Adam Hamaway, a board-certified plastic surgeon in New York. “A lot of plastic and cosmetic surgeons do the fat-transfer technique, but it doesn’t work well on the penis,” he told the Daily News. “It’s a dynamic organ; it changes size. So when you just put fat in there, it looks very unnatural. It doesn’t fix their problem.”

See what you’ve done, David Beckham? Penis envy is all fun and games till someone ends up with a soft, lumpy penis.

Would you go under the knife to have a Beckham pecker? It’s a strange concept, given the fact that we haven’t actually seen David Beckham’s penis.