GO-GO GADGET!

Go-Go Boy Holds Off Ax-Wielding Attacker At Phoenix Gay Bar

shining-go-goAt a Phoenix gay bar, an ax-wielding loon was subdued thanks to a quick-acting go-go boy and a bartender who was particularly handy with a pool stick.

40-year-old Lawrence Aguirre got into an argument with his girlfriend while at Oz Bar on February 17, at which point bar manager Adrian Carlos Maldonado cut him off and escorted him out.

Maldonado remained inside, holding the door shut, when Aguirre went all The Shining and hit it with an ax.

Once he thought Aguirre had left, Maldonado opened the door but the ax man came running in, threatening to kill him. That’s when a go-go boy grabbed Aguirre around the neck from behind. Maldonado hit him over the head with a pool cue, Aguirre dropped the ax and four patrons helped to hold him down until police arrived.

“It’s so weird that something like that happened but I was really happy everybody pulled together and helped me out with getting this guy on the ground and having him arrested,” Maldonado told Fox 10, “because this guy was crazy.”

Aguirre now faces two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage — the police report noted slash marks on the door.  The attacker also used a homophobic slur when describing to police how he was assaulted at the bar, prompting the bias crimes unit to review the case.

Meanwhile, someone should stuff a hero’s badge down that go-go boy’s skivvies, or at least a 20.