Vote with sprinkles

GOP Politician Afraid Gays Are Moving to Dunkin’ Donuts to Commit Vote Fraud


Remember the time we all piled onto a bus, drove to an entirely different district, fraudulently gave our home addresses as the local Dunkin’ Donuts shop, and then proceeded to vote a godless gay activist into office? Neither do I.

But Florida state Rep. Dennis Baxley (R.-but you already knew that) claims he does. Baxley is sponsoring a bill to make it harder for people (especially those most likely of the Democratic persuasion) to vote. Among his motivations—besides upholding Florida’s fine reputation for voting integrity—is to prevent a repeat of a story that Baxley claims he heard.

In Baxley’s anecdotal universe, “a homosexual activist candidate” imported other gay people from outside the district and had them use the address of Dunkin’ Donuts shop when they showed up to vote because the state allows change of address at the polling place.  The upshot: they stole the election from the “pro-family” candidate.

We’re not saying we doubt the story (well, alright, we are), but Dunkin’ Donuts???? When is the last time you saw a gay person at a Dunkin’ Donuts? Is there a W Hotel Bar in Baxley’s district by any chance? You’d think Starbucks would be the bare minimum for this kind of gay vote stealing conspiracy.

Photo credit: psd

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  • Kev C

    Maybe they were gay mexicans who live at the Dunkin Donuts and drive Red Devil buses. Seems possible.

  • Cam

    If the story he claims is true actually happened you could find the evidence on the voter rolls…..funny how he didn’t bother to show the proof.

  • Mark

    The repugs are such a bunch of liars -those xtians are sooooo good at it too!

  • bywaterdog

    I prefer to register at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts,the service is better.

  • fuzzy

    @Mark: What a boring guy! I think he told that story just to get some excitement in his life.

  • Rbayse

    I don’t know, sometimes I think I could live at a Dunkin’ Donuts if it weren’t for the damned South Beach Diet!!!

  • Jeffree

    Clearly Rep. Baxley knows nothing about gay culture. Most of us won’t change our voter registration at a dog-nut shop unless it’s called a “Pâtisserie” and they serve “pain au chocolat.” And unless the joint serves soy mochalattes laced with liqueur (hold the foam), they don’t get to tell us which party to vote for, either.

  • Mike in London UK

    My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw a load of gays vote at Dunkin Donuts last night. I guess it’s pretty serious!

    sorry .. but I couldn’t resist that.


    They must have been gay cops.

  • TMikel

    Yee ha! I’m a gonna go have me a fat heavy apple fritter and do a fake voter registration, yessiree, you betcha boy howdy! Why, I have known a passel of gay folks who go to Dunkin Donuts purely to fake their voter registration. Hit only works in a state like Florida where the official are too stupid to catch errors and need to be protected from their own ignorance. Hit’s a purdee pity they dint realize the plot before Baxley got hisself elected!

  • SteveH

    The Republicans have been claiming “voter fraud” constantly for years. They have yet to find more than two or three actual cases. They use the rant of “voter fraud” to justify regulations that are designed to disenfranchise tens of thousands of real, actual voters. The latest thing is to require a state-issued photo ID to be able to vote. The state-issued ID cards cost serious money, $50 or more, and to get one you have to have other documents that also cost money.

    They claim it is better that tens of thousands of poor people be prevented from voting, than it would be to allow even one fraudulent vote.

    This is really just the new version of “poll tax”. Regulations that require a person to pay money before being allowed to vote, are effective at preventing poor people from voting.

    Poll taxes were declared unconstitutional almost a century ago. The current crop of Republicans don’t seem to know about that history.

  • Absolute

    lol this is utterly ridiculous.

    I think fact checking and telling should be a political mandate. Politicians should not be allowed to lie under any circumstance punishable by hefty fines.

    The only way the Republicans win is with full on lies. and Democrats aren’t much better but they are the obvious lesser of two evils.

  • hyhybt

    @bywaterdog: As are the doughnuts.

Comments are closed.