Grandma Storms Out Of Homophobic Sermon, Makes Gay Grandson Proud

beaReddit user BMMiller10 has reason to be very proud of his grandmother after she set a courageous example and left her church for its homophobic teachings:

Posting, just because the story makes me both sad and happy, but most of all, proud of her. :)

I came out to her about a year ago. I’m 20 years old, and she and I have always been very close. She was fairly conservative before I came out, but her relationship with me beat out any religious leanings. She’s been uncomfortable at her church for a few months, because the current pastor is very against LGBT anything.

A kid that attends the church and is in high school is gay, and apparently his parents wrote to the pastor asking what should be done about this. The pastor took the letter the parents wrote, and read it to the entire congregation, outed the kid, and told everyone that they would “work together to address this problem of homosexuality.”

My grandmother stood up at this point, said “There are a lot of problems here, and him being gay is not one of them.” She apologized to the boy, then walked out the door. She just got back from turning in all the stuff she was responsible for for the church’s yard sale and Bible School activities. The pastor is furious at her, but the associate pastor told her that he has a feeling she might be the catalyst, leading a lot of people that are unhappy with things out of the church, and that he himself was uncomfortable, because situations like this are what have led some teens to suicide.

It’s a small thing, and I’m not the best storyteller, but I’m so proud of her, and thought I’d share. :)

It’s “small things” like that which lead to big changes and BMMiller10 is certainly lucky to have a nana who’ll not only stand up for him, but for others and what she believes in.

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  • dkmagby

    More leaders in the community like this woman are what will change the minds of those that follow them. Wonderful story.

  • Ron Jackson

    Good for Grandma! I wish there were a lot more like her.

  • sfbeast

    BMMiller is indeed a good story teller, contrary to what he wrote, and he is right to be proud of his grandmother

  • The Real Mike in Asheville

    When I met my boyfriend’s parents — 25 years ago, and now we are married — while polite though strained, I would have never expected that they would do what this grandmother has done. Its been 10 years or so, but my in-laws too stood up during their church services, and announced they were leaving the bigotry at that church and would be joining a more inclusive church.

    Cheers to the many straight allies who stand tall for equality.

  • Dakotahgeo

    Congratulations to your grandmother, and to the many people who have said, “Enough!” and used their feet to vote! THESE actions are the turning point between “christians” and real Christians!!! More power to them!
    Blessings, Peace, Joy to you all!
    Dakotahgeo, M.Div. Pastor/Chaplain

  • sanfranca1

    Yeah for the grandmother. But why did you post a picture of Bea Arthur?

  • imperator

    The only thing that would make this better is if, instead of leaving, she’d stayed to try and affect change from the inside. Maybe led a congregational uprising to change their pastor or minister or whatever (either change his mind, or change him out for a newer model). Her courage is commendable, I just wondering if it wouldn’t do the *most* good *on* the “front lines.” But that’s no attempt to discredit her, what she did was still pretty good. Not everyone has the confrontational zeal for the ‘trenches.’

  • Fidelio

    I disagree. I think BMMiller10 he’s a very good storyteller :)

  • jwrappaport

    Thank you for being a friend.

  • randalaw

    @imperator: Speaking as gay man who grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination, I know that in some churches, the pastor is almost autonomous. If “Gram” was in a church of this sort, she was wise to leave. She might indeed be a catalyst for others to leave or stand up in large enough numbers to bring about some change. If she had simply stayed in a church like I have seen in my past, she would more than likely have been shamed and shunned before bringing about any change. More power to her. This happened to my parents who did the unspeakable act of chaperoning a school dance in 1959, when dancing was considered a horrible sin in their church. The preacher reviled them from the pulpit in a Sunday morning sermon and even their “friends” took his side, at least publicly. “Gram” is a great lady who “gets it.”

  • JLJ

    You go Gurl!

  • samwise343

    @sanfranca1: Well, one of the episodes of Golden Girls had Blanche mad at her gay brother for getting married to another man, but she finally saw the light. In a sense, it should be Blanche’s picture up there. Then again she was a slut and this guy’s Gramma was no slut. Cheers to the Grammas and sluts of the world.

  • D9W

    I bet there are a lot of us who wish we had grandmothers like this. Hopefully more will come around like this.

  • Levyr

    I wish I had a grandma like her :)

  • redcarpet

    MORE OF THIS STRAIGHT PEOPLE! You want to say not all Christians are homophobic? Then put your money where you mouth is and stand up to your preachers.

  • TristanShout

    Rosa Parks refusing to sit at the back of the bus was also a small thing, but it lead to change.

  • GayTampaCowboy

    I think many on this thread have stated their correct thoughts and feelings on what this wonderful woman did – and i echo their comments.

    I’ll use this opportunity to speak to a more subtle thought – that’s been substantiated by Pew Research on this issue of gay marriage/gay rights.

    They found that for those who changed their views on gay rights from “against” to “for” was primarily due to exposure to REAL LIVE gay singles and couples. And clearly, this woman, once she had to put a face, name and feelings to the issue of homosexuality – she changed. You see, it’s easy to vilify a group or person or issue when it’s nebulous. When you put flesh-and-blood to something like gay rights/gay marriage – change can happen! And, despite the stereotypes of “gay” still exist, it’s my belief that the vast majority of gay men, women and couples are very much part of the mainstream of American Society.

    So, my is, that more folks will read this story – and the posts in this thread – and know that when it comes to working for “change” and moving forward our march to full and equal protection under the law – that simply befriending str8 folks can make a big impact.

    Consider this! According to the Obama election team, every volunteer in every office in every state in the country was assigned 3 voters. Their job was to keep in contact with those 3 folks and engage them PERSONALLY about why Obama should be re-elected, answer questions and develop a relationship with them. And you know what? It worked! They moved electioneering from tv/radio and direct mail – to PERSONAL, FACE-TO-FACE interaction, and it worked!

    So, if we all find 3 folks who still belive gay rights/marriage is about religion and not constitutional rights, befriend them. Get to know them and let them get to know you. It’s can make a difference – it already is – we just need to keep up the work and reach out to those who want to hate us – show them it’s about LOVE not SEX – and we CAN make change happen.

  • sanfranca1

    @GayTampaCowboy: Very thoughtful!

  • Gayle

    You go Granny
    I think this woman should be given a parade.

  • robynrobotron


    How do you know his grandmother wasn’t a slut? Was it because she stood up for what’s right? Was it because she has a grandson that she cares about? Women who sleep around are capable of having a working moral compass and raising upstanding citizens, just so you know. Slut shaming is not cool, and a lot of LGBT people and allies are folks who don’t mind having a good time and we deserve to be treated with respect.

  • Globaltraveler

    Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
    Margaret Mead

  • Scott Amundsen

    “It’s a small thing, and I’m not the best storyteller, but I’m so proud of her, and thought I’d share.”

    Some things are not as small as they appear; I’ll bet it was bigger than you think for that poor kid the “pastor” had just publicly humiliated. Go, Granny, go!

  • Siva

    Beautiful story. A grandmother with more spiritual value than any other about which I’ve heard. I hope good things come her way!

  • Griff

    “…and my new grandma Bea Arthur!”

    “California” by Rufus Wainwright

  • ted72

    There is still hope in this world…

  • callenstewart

    Love it. I wish she went to my church when I was a kid.

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