POLL: 77% Of Grindr Users Are Holding Out For Mr. Right (But Will Take Mr. Right Now)

New-Grindr-Preview_Cascade-smThough dudes on Grindr are often labeled, let’s say “promiscuous” — usually by other dudes on Grindr — a poll by the hookup app found that a majority of them just want to settle down, get married and have a bunch of stupid, adorable kids.

Of the over 2,000 users Grindr polled, 77% of them want to get married and in a noteworthy sidebar, 4% of them already are. Whoops. Or rather, wee! Still, tradition trumps threesomes with 76% of users saying they want kids and 59% opposed to open relationships. Other findings from the survey include:

  • 67% of respondents were single, whereas 20% were married or exclusively dating someone and 8% are in an open relationship.
  • 60% of respondents believed their soul mate is still out there, while 22% claim to be with their soul mate and 18% do not believe in soul mates.
  • 41% of respondents believe in open relationships

We guess the results aren’t super surprising. With the option of actually and legally getting married — something our foregays didn’t/couldn’t even consider — the gays have white picket fences on the brain. So one day when little whats-her-face looks her daddies innocently in the eyes and asks how they met, she can be regaled about the time Daddy sent an introductory  “Sup” to a pic of Papa’s headless torso. Welcome to modern romance!

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  • tardis

    I wonder how many of them want one of those weird open relationships.

  • Charlie in Charge

    @tardis: Didn’t have time to read it? The article says: 41% of respondents believe in open relationships.

  • miagoodguy

    Very scientific poll i am sure.

  • GayTampaCowboy

    I’m not surprised at these findings at all. I mean, Grindr is primarily used as a hookup site, not a true “dating” site. So, it’s not at all inconsistent that while a guy answering the survey IS using Grindr to hook up at that point in his life, it doesn’t mean he ultimately dons’t want a committed LTR.

    I have many single friends who say, “I am not looking for an LTR right now, just wanna have some fun…but eventually I do want a committed LTR.

    And of real interest to me is the “open relationship” question. Seems that 59% opposed “Open relationships – 41% believe in them. But, if you add the 20% who were “married or exclusively dating someone (could they possibly be cheating? hmmmm), that would bring the “open relationship” percentage up to 61%! Those 20% might WANT an open LTR, but their parnter does not – so they are on Grindr to cheat!

    Just sayin!

  • Spike

    I wonder what percentage of those responding also don’t have heads?

  • Scribe38

    @tardis: Everyone’s relationship is different. If you don’t like open relationships then don’t have one. Personally I would prefer someone be open about what they are doing and their needs than cheating behind my back. I like Dan Savage’s title of monogamish. Yeah I don’t want you on grindr or whatever banging every dude you can, but if once in a while you have some safer-fun outside of me I am not going to cry about it. I’ve been with the same dude for 20 years. It works for us, but that doesn’t mean it has to work for you. I don’t view you as weird for not doing what I do.

  • tardis

    @Scribe38: We’re all different; I understand, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t worry me that my partner one day is going to drop the “I want a open relationship” line. Yes, we all want different things, and having an open relationship is something I most certainly don’t want, but when you’re in a relationship, what I want isn’t what my partner wants, so saying something like “If you don’t like them then don’t have one” is sort of a trivial response. My stance really isn’t based on the virtues of monogamy or some other romanticized notion of love, but of health. I don’t want my partner to bring home something. So, yes, it kind of worries me. I’m not trying to be judgmental. To each his own. Modern gay love is depressing; you just never know.

  • Scribe38

    @tardis: I totally agree about not bringing home something. You have every right and obligation to protect yourself and your partner. I wear a rubber EVERYTIME I play whether its with my partner or with someone else. We are both tested every few months. Opening up our relationship meant closing up condom-less sex for us.

    As far as, if your partner wants an open relationship and you do not. Be open and honest about what you expect from him. If being in an open relationship with him is a deal breaker make sure he knows that you view it as cheating and will bounce his butt if he is ever caught. Even being in an “open relationship” I know that there are lines that I cannot cross and if I do I will loose my man. If he really cares he will obey.

    It’s not modern gay dating… its just guys being guys. Most men like/want sex with different people. It doesn’t mean we have to act on the impulses, but we shouldn’t deny the feelings either. Str8 married dudes just lie about this sort of stuff, while gays are more open with what they are feeling.

  • Charles175

    Both John Waters and ultra-conservative Fundamentalists each in their own bizarre and peculiar way loath the day that being gay would no longer be uniquely different from the rest of mainstream society.

  • tardis

    I agree. Guys are guys, and that sometimes makes the whole being gay thing hard, for me at least. HIV just scares the daylights out of me, so much so, that I’ve gone years without sex. I know there’s condoms and other form of protection out there, but it’s not a “for sure” thing. I’m definitely being paranoid, but I can’t help it. So, the whole open relationship makes me feel…paranoid.

    Even then, if I were honest with my partner about what I wanted, I feel like I’d be setting a precedent for him not to tell me the truth. I once dated a guy, a guy that I dated for a really long time, that cheated on me and didn’t tell me. It was a one time thing, and like you said, guys being guys, and a part of me understood that, but the whole HIV thing opened doors to paranoia and I called it off. I loved him a lot, I really did, but…it just made life hard thinking and wondering if he was going to bring something home and whatnot. It was a really sad breakup.

    If you don’t mind my asking, can you share your experience in having a open relationship? Why did you decide to have one? You mentioned that there’s lines you won’t cross…like what? And I’m sorry about saying “weird.” I don’t think it’s weird…it’s just outside my world of ordinary I suppose.

  • Scribe38

    @tardis: no worries I was more offended than I should have been. I was 19 when I met my guy and had only been with one other guy. I wanted to see other guys. My partner was 7 years older and had his fill of other guys. For 3 yrs had a closed relationship. More and more I wanted to see what was out there and now my dude missed “dating” too. We worked on rules for about another year or so then worked on what worked for us. Everything is spelled out including veto power (that he has used). Now we have talked about getting married and ending the agreement. I dont want to be married and playing around but that my current line in the sand. I dont know if it will stick or not.

  • Daniel-Reader

    Hopefully grindr users all get tested regularly. The gay community is definitely better than the straight community in that regard about testing. Perhaps the gay community could do a joint outreach effort to get straight people to get tested routinely. Too many straight people aren’t even honest about stepping out on their spouses and partners with other straight people. For instance, straight people spread herpes to each other like it is free candy. It is sad and preventable but too many of straight people think only gay people catch STDs and STIs. No doubt most of the anti-gay leaders have STDs since most of them act like it has already reached their brain.

  • Scribe38

    @tardis: I think you should get back out there. Humans aren’t meant to be alone. Mutual j/o, kissing, rubbing, toys are some totally safe options. Hell you might meet a guy that feels exactly like you do about relationships.

  • tardis

    @Scribe38: Thank you for your perspective and I’ll try to get back out there :)

  • Dixie Rect

    What fascinating information – a poll was done to state the obvious? This looks like another paid placement from Grindr.

  • OutMaturity

    Very interesting and disturbing at the same time. Hmmmmmmm

  • LadyL

    @Scribe38: How cool it is that you and your partner have tried to be honest with each other; surely that’s why you’re still together. I think straight couples could really learn from gay couples if they’d just put down their Bibles and open their minds. Cheers!

  • HouseVerdi

    The question of an open relationship or not doesn’t make sense to an app that is mostly used for casual encounters. Would you truly give yourself to someone that you met on an app? I would think that some would say yes. But the ugly truth would be that even if it works out, there will always be one thing in the back of your head. That he still might be on the app – hunting.

    Where was this poll done? I might think the numbers would look different in the UK.

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