Gross Work If You Can Get It

Hollywood’s finest, Heidi Fleiss, is set to open Heidi’s Stud Farm, a male whorehouse 80 miles northwest of Vegas in the suggestively-named Pahrump, Nevada. She has already signed a sex figure, whoops, a six figure deal with HBO for a documentary on her den of penile iniquity. Whoring is legal in Nevada, but all present statutes refer to a whore as “she.” Explaining why it’s high time to rewrite those statutes, Madam Fleiss says: “What’s good for the goose should be good for the gander.”

Lester James

The Nevada Brothel Association isn’t quite sure what to make of this revolutionary whorehouse. On the one hand, their FAQ web page provides an answer to the question: “How do I get directions to a brothel?” Floozies are shown pointing at a map; wherever paid whoopee is available, one sees a Valentine’s heart, as if Tina Turner never asked what love had to do with it.

On the other hand, the NBA fears that a male whorehouse could motivate conservatives to ban prostitution altogether. No mind; Fleiss’s first hire is former soap heartthrob Lester James Brandt, shown in the photo. Let’s hope he gives good bang for the buck, at $250 per hour.