he's just not into us

Guess Which Anti-Gay Michigan Representative Won’t Return Queerty’s Calls

Poor Mark. Mark is an aide in the office of Michigan State Representative Dave Agema, and he’s been taking our calls all week.

We just can’t stop calling, because we simply must know more about Agema’s proposed amendment to the state’s education budget. Agema’s bright idea is to penalize any college that offers benefits to LGBT partners by cutting their budget by five percent. How very interesting!

We first spoke to Mark (pictured at right in an artist’s rendition) on Wednesday. He picked up the phone all chipper, and we were like, “is the goal of this amendment to pressure colleges into rescinding benefits?”

“I think the goal is…” Mark started, and then trailed off. There was some rustling paper, and then he started reading something back to us. “The issue was that universities were knowingly skirting the law,” he said. “Universities were providing these benefits to those who are not married, or not dependents … So it’s more about them thumbing their noses at the rule of law, and providing bad example, acting immorally themselves.”

Oh okay! Acting immorally! Got it.

But our next question stumped him. “So, if the colleges rescind these benefits, where would the spouses of gay employees get their health care?” we asked.

“I … am not sure,” said Mark.

“Has anyone looked into that?” we asked.

“I don’t have that info,” he said, then offered to have Representative Agema call us back. That sounded nice, so we gave him our number and left it at that. We would very much like to know what LGBT husbands and wives are supposed to do if they get cancer or whatevs.

A day went by. No call.

We called back and spoke to Mark again. He said Agema could call us back if we left a number. We did. No call.

So, there you have it, Michigan queers. Want health care? Too bad!

But maybe you’ll have better luck getting some answers out of Dave Agema than we did. His phone number is (517) 373-8900. Say hi to Mark for us!

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9 Comments

  • the crustybastard

    If this Michigan representative’s policy makes him anti-gay, then President Obama is just as anti-gay.

    Fact is, the Obama Administration is barring the spouses of gay federal court employees from health care benefits — not because it has to, but because it WANTS to. A federal court judge says that DOMA doesn’t require the Administration to do this, and indeed a different federal law permits and even requires it.

    As usual, when gays win in court, the Administration always finds a way to keep the discriminatory laws in play anyway.

    And to add just the right touch of insult to injury, the Fierce Advocate dispatched his one openly gay staffer, John Berry, to curbstomp that uppity dyke who had the temerity to think her wife was entitled to heterosexual privileges like healthcare.

    Barack Obama doesn’t like you queers any more than the average Republican does. He’s just more discreet about despising you.

  • walt zipprian

    Hey crusty bastard, if you’re not one of us you don’t get to use the word “queer”.

  • poisongirl

    Does anyone return Queerty’s calls? lol

  • greybat

    I don’t know. They haven’t called yet.

  • TMikel

    Poor Mark, indeed! I see many years of therapy and failed relationships ahead for him. Well, when you sell your soul to the GOP, that happens.

  • the crustybastard

    @walt zipprian:

    Hey walt zipprian, those monochrome displays never die, do they? If you had a newfangled color display, you’d notice my handle’s in brown. Contrasting words indicate what’s known on teh innertoobs as a “hyperlink.”

    Click one sometime — you’ll be in for a big surprise!

    Derp.

  • Athena

    Now – besides wanting to call and get some info from those lazy-bones about this bill and those rescinded benefits – I wanna call and say hi to Mark. -laugh-

  • Tommy

    Maybe he won’t return your calls because you’re a vile rag not worthy of the pixels it sucks up on my computer screen. Just saying…

  • Jeffree

    @Tommy: You’re new here, eh? Please leave so that the adults can continue the conversation. You will feel better about yourself & the rest of the world once you finally graduate from 5th grade.
    The third time’s a charm!

Comments are closed.