he's just not into us

Guess Which Anti-Gay Michigan Representative Won’t Return Queerty’s Calls

Poor Mark. Mark is an aide in the office of Michigan State Representative Dave Agema, and he’s been taking our calls all week.

We just can’t stop calling, because we simply must know more about Agema’s proposed amendment to the state’s education budget. Agema’s bright idea is to penalize any college that offers benefits to LGBT partners by cutting their budget by five percent. How very interesting!

We first spoke to Mark (pictured at right in an artist’s rendition) on Wednesday. He picked up the phone all chipper, and we were like, “is the goal of this amendment to pressure colleges into rescinding benefits?”

“I think the goal is…” Mark started, and then trailed off. There was some rustling paper, and then he started reading something back to us. “The issue was that universities were knowingly skirting the law,” he said. “Universities were providing these benefits to those who are not married, or not dependents … So it’s more about them thumbing their noses at the rule of law, and providing bad example, acting immorally themselves.”

Oh okay! Acting immorally! Got it.

But our next question stumped him. “So, if the colleges rescind these benefits, where would the spouses of gay employees get their health care?” we asked.

“I … am not sure,” said Mark.

“Has anyone looked into that?” we asked.

“I don’t have that info,” he said, then offered to have Representative Agema call us back. That sounded nice, so we gave him our number and left it at that. We would very much like to know what LGBT husbands and wives are supposed to do if they get cancer or whatevs.

A day went by. No call.

We called back and spoke to Mark again. He said Agema could call us back if we left a number. We did. No call.

So, there you have it, Michigan queers. Want health care? Too bad!

But maybe you’ll have better luck getting some answers out of Dave Agema than we did. His phone number is (517) 373-8900. Say hi to Mark for us!