After last week’s cuddle fest, you would’ve been forgiven for thinking The Real World: New Orleans‘ Preston (the gay) and Ryan (the, ahem, straight) were getting along. Well they were, until Preston decided to have SEX WITH OTHER MEN.
Last night’s episode felt like a return to the season’s premiere, where Ryan flipped out — on the first night of meeting his new roommates — over some dude getting all up in his neck space.
Most of the players on these shows, we know from past experience, are in it to get laid. Gay or straight, black or white, everybody wants ass. Which is why Ryan appears to have sacrificed a possible relationship with that cute blonde girl McKenzie to bone her visiting friend. (Sorry, we didn’t include that clip.)
But when Preston wants to get some play? Total ewsville to Ryan.
How about we take this to the next level?
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In the first clip you’re going to see Preston meet (and shower and sleep with) two different dudes, including “Big Thang.” This is where we establish Preston isn’t just A Gay, but one who likes to have sexual relations! How novel.
And then there’s the morning (and afternoon) after, where Preston’s supposed flaunting of the fact that he’s getting some ass upsets Ryan, whose “everyone stop calling me a homo” complex goes to Defcon 1.
“Just knowing what’s going on right now is upsetting,” says Ryan in disgust. See, he’s fine with you being gay. So long as you don’t make anyone else think about gay men with condoms in their hands means penises and assholes are about to meet.
And then Ryan fights with Preston over whether he’s hot enough for Preston to sleep with. Dude. Just put it in your mouth already.
Raise your hand if you think, by the end of the season, these two don’t at least make out.
Ogre Magi
He needs a spanking on that hairy butt of his!
Pip
the only problem i have with his sex life is that the ‘big thang’ guy is wicked cute, but apparently he’s doin other guys instead.
Sean
Ryan is a little bitch.
Tangelo
Defcon 5 is Peace. Defcon 1 is War.
Just being a geek. Really could careless about these shows. I keep waiting for MTV to be dropped.
T.
L.
“Just don’t make it in the middle of the day you know come out and ask for condoms.”
Yeah, because “coming out and asking a girl to shave your b*tt” is classier?!?
Zack
DEFCON 5 = normal military readiness
I think you meant DEFCON 1.
Troy Boy
When Preston asked to borrow condoms the first time, why did the guy he got them from ask if he wanted “the big guy here… I gotta ’em both. Go nuts.” Why does a “straight” guy have different sized condoms? Does he layer them? I don’t get it.
L.
@Troy Boy: Welcome to the “real” life, where everything is “unscripted”.
shanelle
Look at the credits on this or any realty show. See like 12 writers listed. Aint nuthin for real on these shows. Its all veery scripted or edited or played, replayed, neutered or spayed to make a drippy droppy drama, just so u stay.
words: Shanelle
perfume: M.I.-A:M-I
makeup: some store at the mall
drawings: Goochi
editing: Brain-0h
fact-checker: Loosie Lieu
Troy Boy
@L.: Touche. I’m an idiot sometimes.
PopSnap
Um… what is up with the black guys’ hair! I mean, I suppose crazy scene kid hair looks nice on SOME guys, but it looks terrible on him.
Hilarious
I haven’t watched this show in a while, but Preston is starting to win me over. I might tune in just because he’s so entertaining.
I couldn’t care less about that Ryan kid.
eyesiq
Cannot WAIT for Ryan to make out with Preston. The whole parading-my-straight-ness-around-so-nobody-thinks-I-could-possibly-be-gay thing is like basic behavior for ultra-closeted people. I mean seriously, he initiated and carried on a conversation about how Preston SHOULD think that he’s hot. Geez, closet cases…
jason
I think Ryan is entitled to be disgusted with Preston’s promiscuity. If I saw a straight guy bedding a different woman every day, I’d be similarly disgusted.
Shazzer
If Ryan is genuinely concerned about people questioning his sexual orientation, he really needs to loose the “Prince Valiant meets Laura Petrie” hair-do.
Dawson
There hasn’t been a decent season of The Real World since the one that brought us Scott Herman. They haven’t really even came close. I watched this season long enough to see the cast and figure out I had absolutely no interest in watching this season. I definitely think that Ryan doth protest to much. He was the only person that even remotely had a problem with the hook up in the entire house.
Dawson
@jason: While I kind of sort of agree, hell, if I saw a gay guy bedding a different man every day I’d be overly disgusted as well (especially since it is living up to an undeserved stereotype), but Ryan was the only one in the entire house to have any issue at all, and its an atmosphere where hooking up is actually encouraged.
boredwell
Wuz up with that blond wig? Was Preston changing bedsheets before having sex? Why doesn’t Preston stock up on his own condoms? Preston and Ryan are both immature! Ew!
L.
@Troy Boy: Nah, you’re not. And anyway, the real, and less funny, answer probably is: he offered two sorts of condoms because… there were two er, full-masts to cover?
(I never know how to say those words for fear of Queerty’s filter.)
Res
@Dawson: Are you fucking kidding me? That season sucked too.
David Ehrenstein
Ryan is annoyed that Preston is getting it on with so many guys, but he’s even MORE annoyed that Preston says he doesn’t find him attractive.
HAH!
gilber
the blond guy is CLEARLY gay,you don’t need a telescope to see this from thousand miles away.he is trying so hard to appear butch that it looks fake on him.he actually looks like a lesbian.anyway this show is all about stereotypes and i think this people are actors or just trying to be.
Bloom
Other than Queerty, does anyone REALLY watch this crap?
nikko
Again, I cannot believe Ryan is surprised to know people think he’s gay-pot calling kettle black?!!!but what does this say of Ryan if he is gay? Is he playing along with the show’s proders ? i don’t get how he can truly be homophobic just by even looking so androgynous?!
Lamar
@jason: But the reason he’s so upset is because the people Preston hooks up with always happen to be guys which is not O.K in Ryan’s book. I’m sure if they were women Ryan wouldn’t have had a problem.
Ponyboy
Two is not “promiscuous.” Stop acting like church bitches.
hephaestion
Ryan is either a sad closet case or he is suffering from a mental illness. Nothing he says makes sense unless one of these things is true.
David
Ryan = textbook closet homo. When I was closeted I avoided anything gay so I didn’t have to deal with my own sexuality. I’m pretty sure I even asked a gay guy if I were ‘his type’, just to test the waters. Too bad he’s a dick too.
L.
@David Ehrenstein: I believe you just unarguably nailed it. Clase closed!
L.
(“Clase”? I need an editor.)
SteveDenver
Somebody sounds jealous! Why else would Ryan obsess about gay sex and Preston getting laid? Isn’t Ryan a hairdresser? In that line of work I would think he’d be jaded or callused to queerplay.
ToddStephens
Just one question: Why did the cute guy with the condoms have two sizes, is he gay too (I haven’t watched the show)? Usually straight guys purchase an assortment of condoms that will fit their personal wand.
When Real World was in Denver, every time their cast showed up at a bar there was a line out the door. At the gay bar, you could hear guys say, “I’m going to sleep with him and get on TV.”
Preston looks okay, but he’s hot property with a camera crew in tow.
@ Get Equal 'Why the h8 on Obamz but not the Repubs who ALWAYS vote against you? (John from England)
Preston’s cute hipster geek look…like it
Jimmy
I have to laugh at the hand wringers who are concerned about promiscuity in a situation that essentially an extended spring break. It seems to always end up being about those who can’t cut the mustard feeling the need to rain on the picnic.
alan brickman
HE COME OUT WHEN HIS “CAREER” IS IN THE TOILET….
Joe
@eyesiq: BIG AGREEE!
toby
@L.:
But why would a straight guy have two different sized condoms when a straight guy only has to worry about covering one mast….his own. Doesn’t he know the size of his own dick?
Kendall
@Ponyboy:
It is promiscous when you haven’t had time to change the sheets, don’t even have your own condoms and have to borrow them and can’t even remember the guy’s name you just banged before.
I would have a problem with gay piece of trach too just as I would with any straight friend hooking up so much. Obviously, the gay has low self esteem and thinks by filling his various holes that what is lacking in him and his life will be better.
Jacob
Cant believe how fast people get into bed :/
EURGH!
That is just NASTY!
I agree with Ryan to an extent, there is no point announcing it either to let everyone know he’s getting down and dirty with someone :/
No wonder gays get bad rep, it’s because a lot of them put sex above everything else :/
Kyle412
@ToddStephens:
Yeah, I agree. If he weren’t on TV nobody would be making moves on Preston. He should enjoy it now because it’s the most he is going to get the rest of his life.
They all should enjoy it now. This is the least attractive RW cast that I can remember. Remember when there were goodlooking people on the show?
L.
@toby: Well, I guess the size he gets up to depends on whether he’s thinking of Ryan or Preston. I know I do.
Kris
didn’t something like this happen before? Like in Seattle, when Irene called Shawn a homo, and he denied it, and then they had a real world awars show, and he had a boyfriend? Ryan is very far in the closet, right now, but everyone knows he is gay.
robinson
ryan genuinely has no idea:
http://www.realworlddailies.com/Video/How-Are-STDs-Created/092ECFFFF00A1312F001B0104AB2B
Greg Theron
Preston is DISGUSTING and should be hung to the public in Iran. He is SO GROSS and a disgrace to gays.
L.
@Greg Theron: Unlike you, who’s a real classy act and a role model? Rrrrrrright.
Greg Theron
@L.: Never said I was classy or a role model. And even if I was, jealous that people look up to me more than you? Those guys are only sleeping with that disgusting bucket full of AIDs creature ’cause he is on TV and those gays want as much as attention as possible.
L.
@Greg Theron: You call gay men “buckets of AIDS” and call for their public hanging in Iran and people look up to you?
Maybe, just maybe, they want to switch dealers.
Rhea
Lol, that guy is such a closet clase.
Harry Hamlin
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
J.C
I love seeing gays get action like that! GO PRESTON!
Ryan, like most straight guys fixated on us gays, is ugly. Sorry hetros, you are gentically born to be less smart, fit and attractive than us gays which equates to get laid less than us. Ryan is not even half the man Preston is. Preston, playa…keep on playin on! Ryan: the closet is getting crammed. Might want to come out.
P.S~ Anyone get a sneaking suspecion Ryan and gang are on this blog posting comments?
Michael L.
@Greg Theron: Go kill yourself, or better yet, get cancer and die a slow death. THAT would be awesome! The world could use less closet cases like you, dead man walking.
Mark L
As part of the older gay group I don’t thing we should blast our closeted brothers some little Blond gay boys just need more time to come out.I mean come on the guy likes rubbing his ass on everything, plays with everyones ears and enjoy snuggeling with everyone including his mom and guy friends.GAY MUCH me thinks so but I’ll give him the time to come out. Maybe I’ll make an appoint to get my hair did by him.
Mark L
sorry that should of been we shoudn’t blast
Greg Theron
@Michael L.: Haha I love it. Damn, I love getting attention. I doubt I will get cancer, it doesn’t run in my family and I’m vegetarian. But thanks for trying hun. Much love 🙂
Greg Theron
@Kyle412: Exactly. No one would be making a move on that American Apparel/U.O. wannabe in reality, they are only sleeping with him because he’s on T.V.