Tons of homos have had hots for their hetero homies — but when it gets to be a fixation, it gets to be a problem, as one Redditor recently pointed out. “Please don’t romanticize ‘turning’ straight boys,” he wrote in a thread that’s currently 94% upvoted.
Related: Redditor worries he’s a ‘straight person pretending to be gay
“Please chase after someone who deserves you and won’t just treat you as, at the very best, an experiment,” the Reddit user added. “You deserve so much better than that.”
Commenters on the post were quick to agree. “I definitely understand the fantasy; we want what we can’t have,” one wrote. “But there’s a lot of people who do a lot of unsolicited perving over straight guys, and all that does is make them uncomfortable, and it gives them a bad impression [of] gay men.”
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“This,” a user replied to the comment above. “Keep your fantasies fantasies.”
One commenter, meanwhile, said he has a gay friend who claims “getting straight guys in bed” as a superpower of his. “He wants to take me camping this month, with some straight guys, 4 or 5, and then me and him. Apparently, a lot happens on these trips,” he wrote. “I am 38 years old. I don’t want to freeze my ass off to go camping with closeted or sexually confused people just to get some d*ck. Who won’t want to know me after!”
“Tried this for years, never succeeded unlike others and broke my heart over and over again,” that user added.
Related: Redditors reveal the ‘skeeziest’ things they’ve done to check out a hot dude
One fellow lamented that he fell for a straight dude and will never do so again, but another commenter said that crushing on straight guys is a different beast. “A lot of gays fall for a straight guy at school or early on in life as part of figuring themselves out,” he observed. “That’s fine and sweet and innocent. It’s when it gets to the point of fetishizing straight guys and making it a mission to ’turn them’ which is an issue.”
“It’s the same as straight guys trying to turn lesbians,” he continued. “It’s not okay, and no, they’re not interested in your genitals. Move on.”
Nuttypea
lol, no worries, I only service gay straight guys.
CesarRobinson1442
lol, no worries, I only service gay straight guys. – Lol Search engine will help you to gay straight guys: kbh39jb63Y6Rufugu6lu42482
ptseti
ummm I think he’s taking this romanticizing of straight men a bit too seriously. MOST gays do it for the FUN, for the fantasy, for the wish, for the dream of sleeping, touching or romancing a ‘straight’ man , that’s it!
So leave the boys and let them have fun and stop taking yourself so seriously..lighten up, have fun its a GAY lifestyle!!
Donston
Whoever you hook up with sometimes is whatever. There’s nothing wrong with fantasies, fun and games and jokes, or “experimenting”. But there does seem to be a good deal of “queers” who actively and constantly look for straight/confused/closeted/hetero-leaning guys to sexually engage with and even to try and have legit relationships with. It’s borderline pathetic, especially if you’re way past your 20’s and is still obsessed with that sh*t. It’s not really about identity or even the orientation spectrum. No matter what identities someone does or doesn’t embrace, trying to constantly be with someone who not only does not have overall preferences towards you but also doesn’t have unambiguous feelings towards you or unabashed romantic ambitions towards you- it’s just a mess. I suppose a decent amount of this stuff is about insecurity, ego and getting off on feeling “subversive”. Unfortunately, many “queers” spend their lives in imagination land and chancing fantasies. Some grow out of it. But many do not.
TheMarc
Well said!
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
I totally agree with above.I absolutely stopped the fantasies about having sex with straight guys….
I’ve moved on to actually having sex with straight guys…. :-p
Josh447
Perfect. And I’m bisexual. That means I like having sex with straight and gay guys.
wellinmysoul
yeah right…. so says the 57 y/o bald yellow-tooth fat guy with a little pee pee…..
WashDrySpin
I have been banging straight guys since I was 14 thank you Gerald and now married to a guy who thought he was straight…
Donston
It’s not like you can be too mad at guys who are obsessed with “straight” dudes. It’s practically cultural and a part of “our” sociology. Most of the gay porn I’ve seen involves the seducing a “straight guy” and guys looking to “experiment” scenarios. Most “queer” movies, even the ones made recently, are about secret same-sex affairs or falling in love with someone of your same-sex for the first time or coming out. We place conventional masculinity on a sexual and romantic and relationship pedestal, and conventional masculinity is hardly attached to “gay”. Many “proudly out” people still view “gay” as some one-note, limiting hardship that folks are stricken by. Many homosexual, homo-leaning, homo-affectionate, homo-romantic, gay folks still have a ton of insecurities and inferiority complexes or internalized homophobia. Many heterosexual and overall hetero-leaning people who contend with dimensions or some degree of fluidity like to indulge the in and out of the closet and the experiment for a lil bit of time type stuff. And some of those types do take advantage of their privileges and the fact that some homosexual and same-sex leaning people prefer them and even want to worship them. While many people place so much political and sociological weight on identity, and there’s a lot of fetishizing other folks’ identities or sexual behaviors.
So, this obsession with trying to hook up or “turn” supposed straight guys, this ambition to pull hetero-leaning guys to have overall gay preferences, this desire to get closeted guys to come out just to be with you- it’s all practically ingrained.
WashDrySpin
You are the definition of odd and well self-absorbed…as you write responses longer than the original article…
Donston
Well, the articles themselves are often short, one-note and shallow. My feelings toward the topics often are not. I merely gave detailed reasoning for why this kind of dynamic and ambition is so prevalent and persistent.
Josh447
Washdryspin,
Donston is one of those rare breeds that has a hidden and unknown fault that makes him do socially unacceptable/irritating things that really piss people off. I know it well my brother has it. They don’t always know they do it and even if shown in detail, they won’t fix it due to intense denial. I don’t know the recovery rate bc I don’t know that it clinically even has a name but it definitely falls in the sociopathic name sake though I wouldn’t call them typical sociopaths as they do exhibit empathy. It definitely gets people’s attention yet almost always in a negative way, which they seem to enjoy. It’s a little known social mental illness but mental illness nonetheless and most people of any social substance usually write them off as just way too high maintenance. But then we all have our ever lov’n quirks to deal with.
Donston
I actually only communicate this way here. I’m okay with being fairly divisive, but no, I don’t aim for any negative attention. And in my life I aim for positive energy. So, try again. I got some issues (as do we all), but your diagnosis is probably just a bit off. Furthermore, I don’t post what I post to appeal to judgmental, hypocritical lames like yourself. You must think that I get off on annoying you, but for the most part I don’t care what you have to say or respond to you posts until you come for me.
controversial2019
I think it all depends what the original author means really, as there seem to be mixed meanings in the post.
We can’t stop being attracted to straight guys. Depending on which study you read, only 1 in 7-10 men are attracted to other men. That means, statistically, when we see a stranger and are attracted to him; he will be straight.
So we can’t just STOP being into straight dudes.
I guess it depends whether he solely means the ‘He’s straight I’m going to try turn him’ type.
Well, even then – I’m a fan of if you’re into someone, give it a go. If you’re rebuffed, give it another go. There are MANY couples in this world who, if they gave up after being rebuffed the first time, wouldn’t be together today. So perseverance is legitimate (even if it seems you’ve no chance) as long as the person you’re after doesn’t feel harassed.
Donston
You can’t kill attractions. And there’s no issue with shooting your shot. The problem becomes when you spend a good deal of your life actively looking for “straight guys” to worship, love and to try “convert”. There is an unfortunate percentage of “queers” who are strictly searching for “straight” guys and closet cases and no one else. Some of those will indeed harass. Or they’ll at least go out of their way to hook up with a “straight” dude and make “straight” and closeted men feel special and superior. Then they’ll brag about all the supposed straight dudes they’ve hooked up with or constantly talk about not being into “gay” guys. This is the kind of stuff is wider spread than some would like to admit.
MrKevyKevs
This phenomenon only enforces the stereotypes that men should be straight-acting, and that effeminate men are worth less. There’s also an inherent self-protection involved because you can’t really feel too rejected if it is a straight guy turning you down.
Let people be who they are. A man who enjoys getting off with another man isn’t gay. Bisexuals aren’t just practicing for when they become full gays. Fluidity doesn’t mean he wants all people. Express your desire, deal with the reaction, move on accordingly.
Donston
The problem is it’s hard to “let people be” but still continue to uplift identity politics and treat identity as the be-all. Identity is so important politically, socially and when it comes to personal ego. It’s hard to tell men who aren’t truly interested in being with a guy/don’t have overall same-sex preferences and ambitions to just let go of hetero privileges and indulge identities, politics and social structures that they don’t fully relate to. There are many “straight” people who don’t feel having some degree of bisexuality or fluidity curiosity truly equates to not being “straight”. Just like many homosexuals don’t embrace “gay”, and many non-homosexuals are okay with being seen as “gay”. There really aren’t any rules to it, or at least a great percentage of people don’t follow those rules. “Letting people be” would require collectively taking identity less seriously, taking sex and attractions less seriously, detaching identity from politics and sociology, and embracing the spectrum. Many folks just aren’t ready for that.
Josh447
Donston,
Another load of word salad garbage. I glazed over a third of the way through with your multi extrapolated sentences. All a big eye roll. You must have several sets of teeth to be able to even start chewing on all that gristle.
I think you mean well but your end product gets extreme negative feedback. Get a clue man. You have work to do if you are actually here for more than negative attention bc what you think you want and what you’re getting are seemingly two entirely different scenarios. But then I’m well aware that your denial circuitry may well fog out everything negative anybody says to you.
Grandolphrz
All the straight guys I lust after seem to like the attention. It’s just a thing.
nitejonboy
I was friends with another local artist here in my hometown who was obsessed with dating straight guys…I asked how he defined dating ? Basically he buys them dinner and keeps them happy, so I guess they’re his kept boys,and they have sex with him,it just depresses me that someone degrades themselves like that, on both sides of the coin. I am not saying I haven’t paid for it years ago if the guy was cute enough, but not over and over and not as the only way I achieve a relationship with someone. That’s just desperate and sad. He unfriended me because I told him so. I’d rather be alone.
Josh447
Different strokes for different folks. Who is anyone to judge another man’s walk on this Earth re relationships? It’s his walk. We’re all different. There is no cookie cutter design for relationships. Maybe we’d save a bunch of time and blather by honoring that.