After one Reddit user asked what sexual attraction to guys feels like in a recent thread on r/LGBT, another user practically gave a TED talk — detailing the physical sensations of total top, fem top, and total bottom energy.
“When I’m feeling full top, it’s the same with guys as it is with girls, I guess, their legs/ass/face turns me on and makes me fantasize what I’d like to do to them [or makes] me think of past times with them or other people,” the commenter began. “I want to caress and taste their soft skin, run my nails down them, pull their hair, and make them go crazy. It empowers me and brings out my confidence.”
Related: Nico Tortorella sometimes tops and sometimes bottoms “depending on the day”
And when this guy is feeling like a “fem/romantic top”? “I’m more kissy and cuddly,” he explained. “I’m still a top but I’m way more interested in the intimacy, making my partner feel good, by kissing, [touching or massaging] them and just enjoying it all. Sometimes this goes really fem and turns a little lesbianic [sic] almost, like I’m acting like a bottom but I’m the one in the top position, as if they’re f*cking me with my d*ck.”
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What about those bottom/power bottom times? “Seeing their c*ck or muscles makes me feel flustered, I get butterflies in my chest, and there’s a hunger instilled in me,” he wrote. “My mouth starts to water and [my] whole downstairs area starts to tingle … My knees and legs get kinda weak as well. Being bottom isn’t just about their looks though. [It’s] when they tower over you, put their hands on your hips. When you feel the size of their hips enveloping you or the power of them pounding their pelvis into you. When they spank and grope you. None of this is to do with their physical appearance but it gives you [a lot] of satisfaction in the same way.”
Related: 25 truths about total tops and top privilege
And there’s no top or bottom stigma here! “Being top makes me feel confident, but being bottom makes me feel valid,” the Redditor concluded. “Being top is taking control and using the other person, being bottom is letting go and submitting yourself. They’re very different feelings that are both amazing in their own way.”
There you have it! And if you want to further your education, check out what it’s like to be not a top or a bottom but a side.
Hdtex
Nobody asked. Nobody cares.
startenout
First sentence of the article, somebody asked. You read it and then logged in to comment, so unless you’re nobody, somebody cared.
Donston
His descriptions are a lil too “erotic novel” for me. Those descriptions also make a lot of assumptions about others. When discussing the dimensions of your orientation, make sure you’re focused on your dimensions only. There’s a lot of others things that motivate other people.
Ultimately, orientation is a very singular and personal thing. Even people who have the exact same “brand” of orientation and play the same “role” as each other still end up having different quirks, kinks, turn-offs. Arousal, attraction, enjoyment, preference, passion, fulfillment are different things. “Fluidity” is real for some, but there are widely different kinds of fluidity. For example, feeling more like a bottom than you used to is an example of fluidity. Being more into fem dudes when you’re younger but more into masculine dudes when you’re older- that’s also an example of fluidity. People don’t seem to get just how vast “fluidity” is and how many people experience it but in different ways. While the gender, romantic, sexual, affection, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum is wide and diverse. There is no singular answer to why someone takes the “roles” that they take.
The obsession with identity and “roles” I guess is necessary to some degree. But people seem obsessed with dot-connecting and categorizing and using their nature to make assumptions about other people’s nature, and that is counter-productive.
MrMichaelJ
OMG. Is this guy serious? You do NOT just switch from “total top” to “total bottom” etc, at the flick of whatever whim he’s thinking. Sorry, but “total tops” are guys who like backside way more than the front. In fact, true total tops don’t actually give a rat’s ass about the front and most definitely not in comparison.
Donston
You’re just as bad as that Reddit poster, obsessed with “labels” and “roles” and using their experience to make these far-reaching assumptions about everyone else. Furthermore, you really need to quit this whole “all ‘straight’ guys like fvcking dudes” stuff. Because variations of that is all I ever see from your posts. It’s Graham level obsession.
Cam
This seems more like he’s advertising his podcast.
Doug
Wow, sounds very complicated.