For every guy who has found his Mr. Right (or his Mr. Right Now) online, there’s a guy totally dismayed by dating or hookup apps. And Grindr, being one of the more superficial apps, has a ton of defectors, many of whom have expressed their disillusionment online.
So why did these gents delete Grindr? Here are their stories — edited only for clarity — along with links to their full diatribes.
1. Because there was a series of unfortunate events
“The casual conversations never really went anywhere beyond what we did during our free time, what we did for work, how long we’ve been living in [the area], etc. And the forward sexual advances ended up in blocks, teases, blatant (albeit unintended) racism, polite rejections, being stood up, a set of blue balls, a little dirty texting, and a one-night stand with a hetero-flexible guy who told me afterward that he had a girlfriend. Oh yeah, I also learned that I’m a really sh*tty top for first timers.”
2. Because the come-ons got intense
“The total and complete pig nature of people started to get uncomfortably freaky. Okay, sure, tell me I’m sexy, but, um, newsflash: Introducing yourself by saying, ‘I want you to come over so I can f*ck you til your dead’ isn’t quite the best way to start things. (And you wonder why you got blocked…)”
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Related: Doctor explains why you’re addicted to Grindr
3. Because feelings were getting forgotten
“This whole hookup mentality has me treating guys like a commodity rather than a person with f*cking feelings and emotions. That’s gotta stop. I’m f*cking with peoples lives.”
4. Because anxieties were riding high
“I was getting obsessed, frustrated, and desperate. You know, why is he not answering anymore? Does he like me or not? Who cares!”
5. Because it got to be unhealthy
“Honestly, that twinge of self-doubt and anxiety I would get from wondering if I would get a returned message is gone. I haven’t felt ‘not good enough’ since it disappeared. I don’t check my phone 20 times a day just to see if somebody new is out there. I don’t have to feel gross knowing that I’m racing or sharing with all my other gay friends. I don’t have to measure my self-worth based on how hot of a guy messaged me.”
Related: Hilarious Instagram account offers inspirational messages to guys fed up with Grindr
6. Because it got to be an addiction
“I found that I was checking the app with almost every spare moment I had. Sometimes I would open the app, check for new messages, close the app, and then open it right back up as if I were on autopilot. And each time I found that I didn’t have any new messages, I felt the slightest bit worse about myself.”
7. Because love won
“I used these apps because I was ashamed of being a hopeless romantic and having the dream of being married one day, so I escaped into a world that was not healthy for me. It became a very toxic place which is why I deleted Grindr and all other apps. Now that I have the option to find love and experience marriage like everyone else, I felt it was time to unplug and search for my Prince Charming without barriers.”
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Grindr is a hook up App period.
If you go there seeking anything else stop crying like a little girl if someone doesn’t reply, or simply isn’t into you. So fcuking tired of all the drama some Gays create and attempt to create a “movement” to address something that doesn’t exist.
Juanjo
Honey, back in the day we did not have hook-up apps. We cruised and hooked up. But even then and even with the threat of getting busted or blackmailed, many of us socialized with each other, made friends out of the people we met there, and generally behaved like civilized human beings. Sorry to see that the concept is unfamiliar to you.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
JUANJO: Sorry Honey, the inane point you attempted to make was way way off the mark and obviously my point was beyond your comprehensive level. I stated Grindr is a hook up App and nothing more. Those who take rejection personally need to put on their big boy pants and realize that. Everyone is entitled to choose who they are attracted to. It’s not “racism” , it’s a preference Grindr is NOT a place to seek BBFs 4eva.
I too have made lifelong friends in Gay bars, wrestling clubs, and even bowling leauges. I sought friends in likely places to find them. Not on a hook up App….
jkb
Wrestling clubs? Sounds hot
Vince
These hookup apps are what you make of it. If you’re a drama qween then you’ll get drama. If you’re a no-nonsense kind of guy then that’s what you’re going to get. If you spend too much time on it then you’re what we used to call a bar troller.
NateOcean
I like the ones that demand full face pics from you, or no response. Yet they have an essentially blank profile:. no pics, no description, etc.
Or the ones that ask “are you available?” For f*ucking one assumes. Yet have zero in their profile. It’s as if they are browsing the Sears catalog.
One fellow’s first comments asked if we could split the cost of a motel room.
Vince
That’s even assuming the profiles are real. I’d say on any given login the % is something like 25% fakes.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
JUANJO: Sorry Honey, the inane point you attempted to make was way of point and obviously my point was beyond your comprehensive level. I stayed Grindr is a hook up App, not a place to see BBFs 4eva. I too have made lifelong friends in Gay bars, wrestling clubs, and even bowling leauges. I sought friends in likely places to find them. Not on a hook up App….
jkb
Who cares?!* (need the question mark)
1898
i deleted grindr for practical reasons. the app was using more battery power than most of my other apps combined, and every time i had grindr open for more than 20-30 seconds my phone would overheat
i did all the normal troubleshooting stuff, including deleting and reinstalling the app but it didnt make any difference
haven’t had either of those problems with the other apps (scruff, growlr, etc) and the guys on those apps are slightly less obnoxious
Vince
It’s probably because you left the location on. GPS takes a lot of battery power and will overheat your phone. I agree about the less obnoxious apps though.
1898
@Vince I hear what you’re saying but the other apps also use GPS and they don’t cause the same problems
Larry
Because there are more bots than people
Geeker
I seemed to be the only gay man in the tri-county area, that’s why I gave it up after about a day and a half.
winemaker
Wow, another shallow and superficial way for gay guys to connect, so what else’s new? It seems that those of us wanting more then meaningless one nighters that leave one unfullfilled have a new option to meet guys if we’re willing to waste time on nonsense, liars and BS!
Tombear
I enjoyed Grindr at one point in my life but life happens. I got married 3 years ago to a guy I met at a men’s bar. The guys I met on Grindr were mostly one night stands.
vivien
I do think non-monogamy relationship is cool, I’v met several fabulous swingers from swindr (swinder.net), all those people I met are really cool.