For every guy who has found his Mr. Right (or his Mr. Right Now) online, there’s a guy totally dismayed by dating or hookup apps. And Grindr, being one of the more superficial apps, has a ton of defectors, many of whom have expressed their disillusionment online.
So why did these gents delete Grindr? Here are their stories — edited only for clarity — along with links to their full diatribes.
1. Because there was a series of unfortunate events
“The casual conversations never really went anywhere beyond what we did during our free time, what we did for work, how long we’ve been living in [the area], etc. And the forward sexual advances ended up in blocks, teases, blatant (albeit unintended) racism, polite rejections, being stood up, a set of blue balls, a little dirty texting, and a one-night stand with a hetero-flexible guy who told me afterward that he had a girlfriend. Oh yeah, I also learned that I’m a really sh*tty top for first timers.”
2. Because the come-ons got intense
“The total and complete pig nature of people started to get uncomfortably freaky. Okay, sure, tell me I’m sexy, but, um, newsflash: Introducing yourself by saying, ‘I want you to come over so I can f*ck you til your dead’ isn’t quite the best way to start things. (And you wonder why you got blocked…)”
3. Because feelings were getting forgotten
“This whole hookup mentality has me treating guys like a commodity rather than a person with f*cking feelings and emotions. That’s gotta stop. I’m f*cking with peoples lives.”
4. Because anxieties were riding high
“I was getting obsessed, frustrated, and desperate. You know, why is he not answering anymore? Does he like me or not? Who cares!”
5. Because it got to be unhealthy
“Honestly, that twinge of self-doubt and anxiety I would get from wondering if I would get a returned message is gone. I haven’t felt ‘not good enough’ since it disappeared. I don’t check my phone 20 times a day just to see if somebody new is out there. I don’t have to feel gross knowing that I’m racing or sharing with all my other gay friends. I don’t have to measure my self-worth based on how hot of a guy messaged me.”
6. Because it got to be an addiction
“I found that I was checking the app with almost every spare moment I had. Sometimes I would open the app, check for new messages, close the app, and then open it right back up as if I were on autopilot. And each time I found that I didn’t have any new messages, I felt the slightest bit worse about myself.”
7. Because love won
“I used these apps because I was ashamed of being a hopeless romantic and having the dream of being married one day, so I escaped into a world that was not healthy for me. It became a very toxic place which is why I deleted Grindr and all other apps. Now that I have the option to find love and experience marriage like everyone else, I felt it was time to unplug and search for my Prince Charming without barriers.”