Sticky floors, bad music and weak overpriced cocktails are just some of the wonders that await inside of many of the gay bars of the world. But those deterrents are all easily overlooked the first time you enter one. Then, it’s usually more a portal into an exciting and sexy wonderland than it is a watering hole for the town drunks. But hey, to each their own.
Here are some stories of those first times in a gay bar from our friends at Whisper.
What was your first time like?
Giancarlo85
Yeah some of these are true. Like feeling out of place. It depends on where you go.
I live pretty close to Weho/Hollywood. I’ve been to Rage, Abbey, Mickys… really not my favorites and that’s pretty mainstream Weho.
I prefer Arena/Circus in Hollywood (not in Weho), but it is said those clubs are closing this year after decades of being open 🙁 I hope they find someone to take over.
As far as my first experience that would be Rage lol… like so many gay guys here in LA. It was a bit awkward. I was shy at the time.
Scribe38
A little over 20 years ago went to this after hours gay club with a friend and his older cousin. I was 19. My friend wouldn’t dance with me, so his cousin offered. By the end of the night he (the cousin) told me he liked me. Two months later I moved in and we are still together.and his cousin (the friend) still won’t talk to either of us.
Captain Obvious
Majority of these are totally fake. The ones with lowered expectations and feeling awkward are obviously real.
Maude
I went to my first Gay Bar with an older man, and everyone there was about my age except this older guy I was with. I got a lot of hot cruises from some very hot guys, but couldn’t respond.
I was embarrassed, and told the older guy I didn’t like it there, and we left.
The following weekend, I went back and left with a hot guy my own age, and we became
friends with benefits for years.
Raphael
@Scribe38: I’m happy for you! But why your friend does not speak to you anymore?
Richard Andrew Myers
I’ve been to 1 gay bar. It was seriously the least fun I’ve ever had at a bar, I’ve never been back to another one.
DarkZephyr
I am familiar with the one where you go to a gay club and its all straight women.
DuncanK
I’ve only ever been to one club 13 years ago. Hated every moment of it. The pounding music and cigarette smoke quickly gave me a terrible migraine, so I went home before 11 PM. I’ve never felt any need or desire to ever go back to another club. For some of us, it’s just not a fun place to be.
onthemark
@DuncanK: Fortunately, in the past 13 years, MOST places have banned indoor smoking. Unfortunately, there seems to be no cure for the music!
I’m just curious – where do/did you meet guys? Your experience might be helpful for any withdrawn, anxious newbies reading this.
Scribe38
@Raphael: He had a thing for me. We hooked up once a year before the night I met his cousin (my partner). He had some issues that made me think he wouldn’t be a good match for me, so I limited us to only friends. He felt betrayed that I would date his cousin and not him. I was also super young and didn’t explain why he wasn’t a good fit for me. Overall I was pretty right though, he has been in and out of jail for credit card fraud, stealing, and identity theft.
Maude
@Raphael:
He went on vacation to Puerto Rico, and was never heard from again.
Billy Budd
I don’t like the noise. Notice that I call it noise, not music.
Stache99
@Maude: Some things that the sugar daddies will just never understand;)
Saint Law
@Maude: Do all your dates do that?
gaym50ish
My first time in a gay bar was in Tucson, and that’s when I first discovered I could turn heads just by walking into a gay establishment. Went home with two guys for a three-way.
But I was traveling when I stopped there, so I was not afraid of running into someone I knew. My next time was closer to home, at the Twin Peaks bar in the Castro in San Francisco. I sat alone and didn’t meet anyone, but I was SO afraid I would run into someone I knew or worked with. I even worried that someone I knew would see me through those big storefront windows.
Looking back on it now, I can’t imagine why I was so paranoid about it. I lived on the Peninsula and didn’t know anyone in San Francisco. Nevertheless, when I went back again I chose a bar where you couldn’t see in the windows.
martinbakman
One of the bars I used to like became a novelty for young, straight women to patronize, mostly to dance, and more and more they would bring straight boys along with them.
These people were not pleasant. I guess we ourselves are not always polite, good natured folk at the bar, but putting up with obnoxious straight people at a gay bar was too unreasonable for me.
polarisfashion
I freaked out when I saw two guys kissing for the first time at a club. A week later I had my very own first gay kiss at the same club. It felt so magical and I finally accepted who I was.
Ridpathos
I only went to a gay bar once. I went purely for the satisfaction of saying I went to one. I don’t really enjoy the clubbing and bar scene, and I already have a boyfriend.
It was interesting because people kept checking me out and then whispering to their buddies and a guy just impromptu danced on me while I was walking to the table where my friends were sitting with our drinks, but I guess I was just super tired that night after working all day and all I wanted to do was sit with my friends and enjoy a drink.
Anyhow, this guy is basically dancing with all of the women on the dance floor, and finally works his way to me, and tries to get me to dance with him. I politely refuse because I’d rather sit and relax.
On my way out, I get the nastiest stink eye from him as I pass him on my way out. He and his friend block my path and shake their heads at me as I leave. I just leave thinking wtf.
The experience didn’t change my mind about gay bars and the clubbing scene in general. Maybe some people enjoy feeling like an object that they have the RIGHT to force to dance with them, but I’ll take quiet pubs with dart boards and pool tables any day.
Stache99
@Ridpathos: Situations like that happen anywhere. The guy was an asshole. Big effing deal. Rude people aren’t exclusive to bars and clubs.
Bob LaBlah
@Captain Obvious: “Majority of these are totally fake. The ones with lowered expectations and feeling awkward are obviously real.”
Just out of curiosity do you kinda get the feeling that one of the first three questions a newbie at these clubs are asked is “what gym do you go to” based on the photos posted? I would be surprised if it was the first after the word hello. My lord, how times have changed (based on the photos). I think the cutest one was the one with the dog in it. And I am mainly complementing the dog. lol
o.codone
Scared. I went to “Steps” in Philadelphia. Made out like a bandit. It worked for me right from the start. Then “Equus”, which is now “Eye Candy”. Basically same success rate, somewhere around 100%. This gay bar thing was a pretty good idea.
DuncanK
@onthemark: Indeed, the number of states that have smoking bans is great; it has certainly improved my health.
I’m not sure my experience would be relevant to any newbies out there that don’t enjoy the club scene. I met my partner almost 12 years ago on the personals section of the now-defunct PlanetOut.com. We bonded over folk music (Janis Ian lyrics, to be precise), and a love of nature. I only ever had one other brief relationship with a fellow member of my college’s LGBT student organization a year prior to meeting my partner.
Jory Adamson
I know what it feel like to go to a gay club/bar and feel totally alone.
Robert Regalbuto
i was 17 the club was the steps in philly the song was love train by the o jays and woman barabbas, cigarette n one hand and a tom collins in the other. yes sticky floors
Ken Johnson
The speak easy in Plymouth it was quite daunting I walked past 3 times eventually went in bought a pint at bar and felt very out of place and yes very alone two lesbians introduced them selves and invited me to join them they took me under their wing so to speak as they thought I’d be easy prey they became good friends happy days that was about 36 years ago
bottom250
When I went to a gay bar for the first time I danced the night away with many other fabulous men. What I hated though was all those straight bitches taking up the dance floor. Go to your own club women and let the men dance.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
I related to all of the ones who had a great time at a gay club. Some of the best, most freeing times were spent dancing all night long with random guys. Every person in the club I would frequent had such a great energy. The patrons were just fun and awesome and fun and exciting and hot: both young, old, fat, muscled, skinny. Everybody had a blast with everybody. What would I give to be 20 years old again and head back to that club!!
kansasteddybear
I live in Topeka, KS. when I came out so very many years ago, we had a very small neighborhood bar type place here. my friends decided I needed to see the bars i Kansas City. so we went over there one Saturday night. at that time, most of the bars were all clustered together within a few blocks, so we hit them all. the one I remember the most was called the Windjamer. it was packed that night. I was trying to get to the restrooms in the back of the bar and it was almost impossible to get to them, but finally made it. right outside the restroom door was a circular metal staircase going up to at balcony overlooking the dance floor. right when I got there this guy dressed all in leather came about halfway down the stairway, pulled out his dick and pissed into the empty glass he was holding, then started to drink it. I about freaked out! LOL now, it wouldn’t faze me in the least. the other thing I remember from that night was going into another bar and seeing Pink Flamingos being projected on all the walls. it was at the part of the movie where Divine shoplifts the steak and then is seen walking along a street and stopping to pee. both memories are seared into my mind and will remain there forever! LOL
tusgold
I ran into my high school chemestry teacher who had a very close “friendship” with one of the other popular guys. They went to Europe together. Oh Tracy I know your door swings both ways no matter hoow many kids you have
Clark35
I have been to bars back when they were pretty much the place to meet other bi and gay men, and they were fun when I was younger; but nowadays I just go when friends are visiting me, or when I’m going to meet friends there.