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Hairy cub gets electrocuted whenever he touches anything. Help!

Talk about an electric personality! One Redditor — a self-described “hairy cub” — is tired of getting static shocks, and he’s desperately seeking solutions.

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“Question for northern bros,” he wrote recently in the r/askgaybros subreddit. “If there’s such a thing, how do you develop LESS static electricity?! Hairy cub here, I’m getting shocked every time I touch metal, and it’s driving me insane.”

“Doesn’t really happen in the south, where I live,” he added.

Luckily, fellow Redditors had ideas.

  • “Get a humidifier for your house. [It’s] always more common in very dry homes during the winter.”
  • “Try not to ‘scuff’ your feet as you walk, rather pick up each food deliberately as you walk. Consider different soles shoes?”
  • “If it’s mainly happening when you get out of your car, spray your seats with static guard. Can use on your clothes too.”
  • “If I’m at the gym and have been walking on carpet, I have trained myself to touch a painted part of the door frame before touching a metal handle. Just to dissipate.”

Related: Cuddle up to these fine, furry cubs

In an AccuWeather article on this very topic — well, minus the hairy cub part, sadly — experts vouch for some of these tips and offer other suggestions.

“[Raising] the humidity levels by deploying a humidifier can help mitigate prolonged buildup of static charges on our bodies,” Sai Sunil Mallineni, a research assistant at Clemson University’s Nanomaterials Center, told the site. “Another simple way [to prevent static shock] is to keep touching a metal object as often as possible to continuously ground built-up charges.”

Strangely, there’s no mention of doing the Electric Slide…