DON WE NOW

Hallmark Wants To “Deck The Halls” But Without “Gay” Apparel

hallmark-fun-apparelHallmark has produced a god-ugly Christmas sweater — as if any other kind existed– with lyrics from “Deck The Halls” replacing “gay” with “fun.”

“Don we now our fun apparel,” urges the itchy wool concoction covered in the discarded ornaments from your grandmother’s attic.

“Hallmark created this year’s Holiday Sweater ornament in the spirit of fun,” Hallmark spokeswoman Kristin Ernsting told the Huffington Post.  “When the lyrics to ‘Deck the Halls’ were translated from Gaelic and published in English back in the 1800s, the word ‘gay’ meant festive or merry. Today it has multiple meanings, which we thought could leave our intent open to misinterpretation.”

So don’t worry everyone, Hallmark does not make gay clothes, nor does it want you to perfect your tuck and become a drag queen. That is what donning gay apparel means, right?

“The trend of wearing festively decorated Christmas sweaters to parties is all about fun, and this ornament is intended to play into that, so the planning team decided to say what we meant: ‘fun,'” Ernsting continued, joyfully. “That’s the spirit we intended and the spirit in which we hope ornament buyers will take it.”

Hey, gays are plenty fun. So, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-fuck you too.