DON WE NOW

Hallmark Wants To “Deck The Halls” But Without “Gay” Apparel

hallmark-fun-apparelHallmark has produced a god-ugly Christmas sweater — as if any other kind existed– with lyrics from “Deck The Halls” replacing “gay” with “fun.”

“Don we now our fun apparel,” urges the itchy wool concoction covered in the discarded ornaments from your grandmother’s attic.

“Hallmark created this year’s Holiday Sweater ornament in the spirit of fun,” Hallmark spokeswoman Kristin Ernsting told the Huffington Post.  “When the lyrics to ‘Deck the Halls’ were translated from Gaelic and published in English back in the 1800s, the word ‘gay’ meant festive or merry. Today it has multiple meanings, which we thought could leave our intent open to misinterpretation.”

So don’t worry everyone, Hallmark does not make gay clothes, nor does it want you to perfect your tuck and become a drag queen. That is what donning gay apparel means, right?

“The trend of wearing festively decorated Christmas sweaters to parties is all about fun, and this ornament is intended to play into that, so the planning team decided to say what we meant: ‘fun,'” Ernsting continued, joyfully. “That’s the spirit we intended and the spirit in which we hope ornament buyers will take it.”

Hey, gays are plenty fun. So, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-fuck you too.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #christmas #hallmark stories and more

8 Comments

  • Jake357

    Technically it is Welsh, which is Brythonic and not Goidelic, the family that includes Irish and Scottish Gaelic. But they are all Celtic languages and so have a similarity in many respects.

    O mor gynnes mynwes meinwen,
    fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la
    O mor fwyn yw llwya meillionen,
    fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la
    O mor felus yw’r cusanau,
    Gyda serch a mwynion eiriau
    fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la

  • Pistolo

    I’m complimented. Keep your ugly-ass fucking sweaters away from me and mine.

  • Shofixti

    Why stop there? “Now we wear our fugly sweaters”

  • Will L

    I’ll add them to my list of items to not buy – their cards, that is. This cheap-ass crap that Hallmark imports from China has no place in my home anyway.

  • Taliaferro

    Hallmark already struggles due to poor design, high prices, and a growing card industry that creates better and more attractive cards. So they add to that with a bad decision on this issue. “Don we now our FUN apparel?” Please spare me. I stopped buying Hallmark years ago, due to this sort of nonsense.

  • dirknerd

    @Jake357: I just love Wikipedia. Google translate is pretty cool too. You can say really horrible things that don’t get moderated.

  • Jake357

    @dirknerd: Is that a dig?

  • longpastdue

    I am almost positive that if they had put “our gay apparel,” on the sweater then a lot of people would have complained that they were discriminating for associating us with such an ugly sweater or that somehow the sweater being so ugly was actually meant to be a dig at the gay population. Overall I’m willing to bet it was just a bad idea that they only released because to do otherwise would have been more expensive.

Comments are closed.