What happens when a cop discovers this Speedo-clad man riding his wooden horse around the Alamo?

Tourists will certainly remember this particular weekend at the Alamo.

That’s because a man caused what experts might call a “ruckus” by prancing around in a Speedo on his wooden stick pony while wielding a rubber chicken.

Matthew Silver reckons himself to be a performer and clown, while authorities reckon him to be a public nuisance.

Related: WATCH: Speedo-clad young man is possibly the craziest vacationer of all time

He was detained shortly after his little performance-art piece began in front of the Texas monument.

There’s no accounting for taste, but we personally prefer the antics of this Speedo-wearing rabble-rouser.

Perhaps hoping to raise his profile and pick up some freelance performer/clown work via word of mouth, Silver posted a video of his frolicsome antics to Facebook.

He claims the act “cost him access to Federal property in Texas,” according to News 4 San Antonio.

We’re left with many questions after watching the video, but primarily: Where can we pick up a pair of the swim trunks?