Happy Endings: Calling All Vatican Recruiters

•A Christian school in California has expelled a 14-year old girl upon learning her parents are gay. I guess we glossed over the part in the Bible where Jesus said “thou shalt not educate the offspring of lesbians.”

•We’re bummed that we didn’t get to see Sandra Bernhard rip on both Barbara “Mrs. Doubtfire” Bush and Condi “Ferragamo” Rice in person.

•Ex-gay camp Love in Action employees are allowed to continue their brainwashing for one more week. But not to worry. Once the place shuts its doors for good, they’ll easily find jobs working for the Vatican.


•For the last time: Kenny Chesney IS NOT GAY!. Right…

“Amnesty International: Cops abuse gays, need to add liaison officers.” But will they be Dangerous Liaisons?

•Stuff you need to schedule your life around this weekend: The bitchy Desperate Housewives (and wet dream Jesse Metcalf) are back this Sunday night and single mom Jodie Foster takes on yet another single mom role in Flightplan.