Happy Endings: The Day Madonna Stepped Out

Madonna got a haircut. No word on an amount, but we bet it costs a fucking fortune to look so – um…well, to have such nice looking hair. The face? Not looking so hot…

Ellen injured! Lesbian talk show host and all around lesbian Ellen Degeneres will be performing her chat fest from bed after injuring her back. Perhaps Portia got a little rough?

Kenya is getting lax on the fags. Gay activist Angus Parkinson says:of Liverpool VCT, a support centre in Nairobi, “Kenya is heading in a different direction from its neighbours.” Well, we should hope so, because neighboring Uganda doesn’t have the best record

• Today’s fag rags have less fag and more rag, according to journo Sam McManis: “Now, these niche newspapers and magazines seem more about the “active lifestyle,” as the media cliche goes. Home improvement. Fashion. Celebrity culture. All the fun, frivolous stuff.” Yeah, but it also brings in the ever-important dollar. Gotta get that dollar, homie…

Candy Spelling‘s plan to save America’s international image? More reruns of Charlie’s Angels, Dynasty and, if we’re in a bind, Falcon’s Crest.

On Friday, we informed you that an Arkansas man’s suing his local library because his son suffered “many sleepless nights” after finding The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. Um, duh he had sleepless nights (assuming, of course, he’s straight). Speaking on the brouhaha, the book’s author, Felice Newman, asks, “If librarians pull such books from the shelves, where will kids find out about sex?” You’re looking at it…

Andy Warhol‘s the number two highest-selling artist in the world. Picasso’s number one.

Pete Wentz ain’t just a make-up wearing rock star, he’s a linguistic mastermind. For example, he doesn’t wear eyeliner. He wears guy-liner”. Total difference. Total genius.