Happy Endings: This Means Only 16 Days Until Elton’s Wedding

• Seemingly always a big step ahead of the U.S., gay Brits get to register for civil unions starting today.

• Spokane mayor James West claims he’s sworn off dick. That is until he loses tomorrow’s recall election and finds himself in a month-long gay sex bender.

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• Gay porn star/jail bird Mark Dalton has been released from prison, where he likely spent most of his time practicing for his comeback Falcon video.

• Fluff piece central USA Today does a nice job of revealing absolutely nothing about interior design queen Nate Berkus. Aside from the fact that he’s just absolutely gorgeous. Come to think of it, it sounds exactly like the sort of consequential piece we would write about him.

The Simple Life bitches continue to parlay their reality show success into more crap we’re sure we’ll just eat up. Well, almost. While we think a Nicole Richie sitcom is a great idea, even we’re tiring of image-whore Paris Hilton putting her name on just about anything.

Wonkette points out that CNN is so aware of their queer viewers and their adoration of Anderson Cooper.