It’s Thursday afternoon after Valentine’s Day. We don’t about you guys, but we sure could use a laugh. Luckily, it’s been a week since we revived Hardy-Har-Har: Stupid Gay Humor – our completely juvenile, utterly superfluous celebration of gay-centric knee-slappers (a not-so-distant cousin of “shirt lifters”), so we had an arsenal of ready-to-roll roarers rib-ticklers (a more distant cousin).
A few of your offered up some of those old favorites, like the gay horse joke, but others made our whimsical wishes come true with fresh offerings. Reader Paul contributed this gem:
What did one condom say to the other condom in front of the gay bar?
“Let’s go in here and get shitfaced.”
It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
Meanwhile, “fermat” puts a queer twist on the “three x walk into y”:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Three gay guys get on an elevator and they see a white, slimey mess on one wall. The first guy goes over and takes a look.
“It looks like cum,” he exclaimed. The second guy walks over.
“And it smells like cum, too,” he proclaimed. Finally, the third guy walks over.
Bending down, he takes a lick of the mess on the wall. “It’s cum alright, but it’s no one from this building.”
A few commentators got grossed out by that, but not us. We loved it.
Speaking of grossed out, we came across some terrible gay jokes, all of which have to deal with AIDS. Ain’t anything funny about AIDS. (Except when it’s spelled AYDS, of course.) They’re so offensive that we’ve decided to put them after the jump.
For those of you who can’t handle an exceedingly guilty laugh and/or being enraged, we suggest you move on. And, everybody, please, we implore you: send us more chuckles. We need them.
Relive Hardy-Har-Har…The Revival.
We won’t even tell you where we found these. All we can say is that it’s an Aryan nation website that features a spinning swastika and a Hitler wallpaper. We found it by googling “stupid faggot”. Do what you will with that information.
What is the first symptom of AIDS?
An extreme pain in the ass!What do call a queer who doesn’t have AIDS?
A lucky cocksucker!What does GAY really stand for?
Got Aids Yet?What does AIDS stand for?
Asshole Injected Death Sentence!What’s the greatest thing about AIDS?
It can turn a fruit into a vegetable!What do you give a queer with AIDS for Christmas?
Cancer!
That last one may be the worst of the vile bunch.
FizziekruntNT
Gee, and Shirley Q. Liquor is offensive?
kamagurka
I’m going to have to disagree with you. Everything can be part of a funny joke, be it AIDS, genocide or any number of horrible things you could think of. But those? They’re not just offensive, but they are bigot and, alas, unfunny. But, hell, what do you expect from Aryan nationalists?
robert
wow. um, wow.
Lorenzo
I got this email yesterday I thought it was pretty funny just thought I would share.
Subject: Gay Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told
us “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be
landing this big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just
put your trays up, that would be super.”
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over
those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the
main man can pitty-pat us on the ground”
She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess
and I take orders from no one.”
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
“Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch.”
Loki
Hahah, I don’t care what the rest of you bitches say, that’s comedic gold. Yea it’s totally offensive, but it’s so dumb that it’s really funny. I actually laughed out loud… maybe I’m drunk, or maybe it’s funny….
cheers
fermat
I may have blown my load with the last joke, here’s another:
A man goes to get his hair cut, he tells the lady that he has noticed that his hair is thinning out.
She says, “Try vaseline on your scalp, I hear it grows hair.”
So the man goes home and gobs vaseline all over his scalp.
Later the mans boyfriend gets home and notices the stuff on his partners scalp, he says “What the hell is that on your head?”
The other replies “Vaseline,I hear it grows hair… and mine is thining”
The other exclaims, “Honey, if vaseline grew hair, you would have a ponytail hanging out of your ass!!!”