“Gay men have forgotten how to have sex. For so long that was supposed to be something gay men were good at, but I’m not so sure anymore. They might be good at the technique but not the openness. Sex should be about opening possibilities, not closing them off.”“On the one hand, people are stating their preference, but on the other, these are not neutral terms. If we were living in a culture where everything was the same, it wouldn’t be a problem. But when sexual preference reinforces dominant systems of power in an unquestioning way, that’s when it becomes problematic.”
– Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, editor of the forthcoming anthology Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? speaking with Alex Rowlson about the problems of stating “no fats; no femmes; no Asians; no blacks; masc only; my age or younger; str8-acting, you be too; non-scene; etc” on gay hook-up sites.
Later in Rowlson’s article, self-described “Queer brown drag queen faggot” ML Sugie, suggests, that we start focusing our desire based on a person’s creative capacity and the bodily pleasures of sex rather than purely on their physical appearance.