Hillary Clinton Discovers Key To Successful Bail-Out: Heartwarming Children’s Books

President-Elect Barack Obama was nice enough to make lovable pant-suit icon Hillary Clinton your next Secretary of State, but she’s still paying off the debt she incurred trying to kneecap him in the Democratic primary.

Clinton owes $7.5 million, mostly to Shrek-impersonator Mark Penn and while she’s tapped everyone from America Ferrara to Joe Biden to help her retire her debt, nothing is more filled with awesome than today’s news that supporters can help out by purchasing an illustrated storybook entitled Hillary Rodham Clinton: Dreams Taking Flight.

It’s yours now for $50, or $250 if you want it signed by the lady herself. I don’t need to tell you this is the best piece of political kitsch ever and that this should be under every gay’s Xmas tree this year.  You can get it here.

If you’ve ever wondered what an All-American Girl story would be like if it included hippies, interns and Congressional hearings, here’s your chance! It even has a fairy tale ending when, after being screwed over by her feckless and press-obsessed Prince Charming, the plucky ragamuffin is restored to her rightful throne by all the citizens who buy her t-shirts, stickers and yes, $250 vanity children’s books. And we all lived happily ever after.