WORKING GIRL

HELP WANTED: Hillary Clinton’s Post-Cabinet Job Fair

By Les Fabian Brathwaite December 14, 2012 at 3:05pm
With Hillary Clinton‘s tenure as Secretary of State drawing to a close, inquiring minds want to know, “What’s next, Hills?” Now, Clinton has said time and time again she won’t run for president (or anything else) in 2016—most recently on Barbara Walters’ roundup of the year’s most fascinating people, where she said “I really don’t believe that that’s something I will do again.” We just can’t bring ourselves to believe her, though. Hillary Clinton has worn many hats in her life—lawyer, First Lady of Arkansas, Co-President of the United States, U.S. Senator, cabinet member— And she just goes from strength to strength. In any case, Lady Clinton’s got a resume that could take her anywhere. But where will she go? Click through for some suggestions for Hillary Clinton’s post-cabinet career path.  
(Vice) President of the United States of America Rather than sugar plums and fairies, dreams of a Hillary Clinton-Michelle Obama ticket are dancing in our heads this time of year. Hillary’s frequent denials (which are fooling no one) aside, maybe MObama can convince H-Clint to throw on a pantsuit and join the race. If not as President, maybe veep? First Ladies: First for America! Photo: Pete Souza
Mayor of New York Hillary caused quite the stir when she moved to New York to run for the Senate, but the state soon adopted her as one of its own. Or so it seemed: New Yorkers are notoriously hard to win over and a majority of residents would prefer if Hillary let the mayorship sail on by. Still, current mayor Michael Bloomberg was keen to endorse Clinton unsolicitedly. So keen, in fact, that he was ready to leave city council speaker and heir apparent Christine Quinn out in the political cold.  
Home-Decorating Show Host Given her distaste for baking cookies, Hillary might not be the ideal host for a cooking show. But last month she joked to The New York Times that maybe she’d get a decorating show after stepping down as Secretary of State. Or was it a joke? Like us, her favorite show is HGTV’s Love It Or List It and her biggest “guilty pleasure” is flipping through interior-decorating mags.  Martha Stewart better start watching her back—it’s not a good thing.  
Fashion Designer During her presidential run in 2008, Hillary broke new ground as a founding member of the “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit.” Though her style as First Lady left, shall we say, a bit to be desired, Hillary’s become a bona fide style icon since then—experimenting with hairdos, and swapping through a rainbow of scrunchies that now have their own following. She could easily leverage this sartorial influence into a lifestyle brand for women. Hell, if Kim Kardashian can do it why not Hillary Fucking Clinton?

Start a League of Extraordinary Women with Oprah

If she’s really lacking direction, Hillary can always seek advice from fellow HBIC Oprah Winfrey, who knows something about trying to find your legs after conquering the world.

The two could form a shadow agency for powerful women of a certain age.

With Margaret Thatcher as their mascot, Hillary, Oprah and Queen Elizabeth II (she’s not really doing anything but cold chillin’ these days) could work to solve the world’s problems—and when that’s done, start their own version of The View. With Hills hosting home-decorating segments, natch.

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3 Comments*

  • 1EqualityUSA

    Scott Walker has a chance to slither back to Washington, should Kerry leave his Senate seat. I hope he loses again. He abused his power when he held his seat. He became one of the boys. I hope someone just as bright as Elizabeth Warren comes out of the woodwork and beats the pants off of him again. A Native American Indian would be fun. Chop, chop, Brown.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    Scott Brown

  • Charli Girl

    Well let’s just hope folks have their eyes WIDE open like they did in this election,and block him at EVERY turn,,,,

    And why is everyone mentioning Hillary’s hair? Really ? Wtf does hair have to do how she performs her job? Ugh

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