TAKE IT OFF

Here’s How To Instantly Find Sexy Pics of World Cup Players

higuainIn case you haven’t heard, there’s a sportsball match going on. It’s called “The World Cup,” and it is not an international goblet conference. It’s soccer, a game beloved by the British and almost never won by them.

These are exciting times for anyone who loves to run around a grassy field kicking a ball. But of course, even if you’re not an athlete, you can still be an athletic supporter. Our favorite part of any sporting match is objectifying the players.

And now, thanks to modern technology, it’s easer to do that than ever before.

If you see a player on the field whom you want to see naked, head over to hashtagshirtless.com. Enter in the team and jersey number, and voila! A procedurally-generated collection of sexy photos of that player.

Hooray for the male gaze and power fantasies!

Unfortunately, because the images are gathered by a computer, you don’t always get the results you want. Many are not, in fact, shirtless. And don’t bother looking for photos of Gotoko Sakai on Japan’s team — because he shares a name with a company that makes knives, all of the photos on his page are of cutting implements. Whoops.

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10 Comments

  • Paco

    “Our favorite part of any sporting match is objectifying the players.”

    Judging by most sports related articles written by gay media, that usually have very little to do with the sport or how we’ll the players play their game, you would think the only interest a gay man has in sports is of a sexual nature.

  • Paco

    @Paco: That was supposed to be “well” and not “we’ll”. Autocorrect sucks sometimes.

  • litper

    @Paco: because unlike dumb straights we can see it’s just 22 sweaty men running a round with a ball ocassionally doing homoerotic things and getting paid millions for that.

  • Billy Budd

    I like their legs.

  • blondella

    The website doesn’t even work.

  • Billy Budd

    It is funny how so many of the players shave their chests, or even armpits. Most of them have stylish and sometimes daring haircuts. I do believe many are bisexual. Soccer legend Ronaldo once had an affair with THREE tranvestites.

  • Billy Budd

    I mean Brazilian star Ronaldo “Phenomenon”, not Cristiano Ronaldo.

  • DickieJohnson

    @Paco: Yep, you got that right, hombre! Watching the sexy players, in sexy-man sports gear, is my only reason to watch sports events. And, of course, the ass-patting, etc., is fun!

  • trusgold

    I COULD LEARN TO LIKE SOCCER. I HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF SOCCER TOPS IN HIGH SCHOOL. REPEAT SESIONS ALWAYS CALL ME AT LIKE 11 PM FOR A BOOTY CALL I AM ONLY TO HAPPY TO CLEAN UP TO GET THE JOCK HORNED UP

  • trusgold

    BEING GAY IS FOR THE YOUNG

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