man with a plan

Here’s How Uncle Sam Is Going To Let Homogays Be Homogays In The Military

In a four-page memo Clifford Stanley, the undersecretary of defense for personnel and readiness, today revealed the Pentagon’s plan to repeal DADT — and instructed leaders of all four military branches they have until March 1 to tell him how it’s going. We’ve got four stages: pre-repeal, certification, implementation and sustainment. Actually, there’s a fifth: gay pride parade at Camp David, but shhh, that’s Top Secret.

Here’s the whole thingy — click for larger versions.

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  • Cam

    Of course NOM will release a fake memo that says the military is changing the uniform to assless chaps and little caps with big pink feathers in them.

  • the crustybastard

    Time to dust this one off:

    “A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

    Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

    A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.”

  • GetBalance

    A gay pride parade at camp David. Sign me up cuz I’m down on that!

  • JM

    @the crustybastard: As a chemist, I think that is beyond hilarious. My entire university department should be getting that joke in their inboxes pretty soon! =P

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