Imagine this: You wake up, pour yourself some coffee and check your email. An acquaintance — and it’s not even someone you particularly like — has emailed a video link with the subject header “Is this you???”
So you click. And it is. It is. It is. It’s you, in a highly vulnerable position: having sex with an acquaintance — and it’s not even someone you particularly liked.
Related: Gay Teacher Fired After Stolen Sex Tape Is Posted On School Website
You can try to reach out to the tube site that posted the vid, but a simple search reveals people have already downloaded and uploaded it to other sites. The scene is only seven minutes, but it’s fifteen minutes of fame you never volunteered for. You’re officially and unwittingly an Internet thing…
This is more or less what happened to Lokies Khan, a gay man from Singapore who discusses what it’s like having a video released online that shows you having sex.
Related: Three College Basketball Players Suspended After Their Sex Tape Goes Public
Speaking with Dear Straight People, he talks about how the situation made him feel a total lack of control.
“The main reason why [the incident] affected me so much was because this is not something I want people to see,” he says.
Sure, some of his Instagram pictures depict him in various states of undress, but those are images he chose to share with the world.
“Things that I post on Instagram are things that are within my control, are things I want people to see, [that] I’m comfortable with people to look at,” he says. “But these gifs of me on Tumblr are not within my control. I did not give consent. I did not know it was there.”
Related: English Footballer Josh Charnley’s Leaked Selfie Leaves Nothing To Imagination
He laments the overabundance of “backstabbing,” “slandering,” “gossiping,” “shaming” and “judgement” that wafts from the gay community.
“This is an issue,” he says. “This is a problem in the community that we are facing, and people think it’s OK — it’s not. There are people out there who wouldn’t have the mental capacity to cope with this. These are things that are potentially lethal. It could destroy someone’s life.”
To other victims, Khan offers support: “You are not alone. I get what you’re feeling. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
Watch the video — the interview — below:
AtticusBennett
it’s a weird world where a person will be “looked down on” for…..what? enjoying their sex life? documenting it? having functional genitals? looking GOOD naked?
that a person will be shamed for videos of nudity or sexuality and yet nobody batts an eye at photos and videos glorifying gun culture.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Moral of the story : don’t have sex with someone that is “not even someone you particularly liked.”
ErikO
I feel bad for this guy who had someone film him without his consent.
Tommysole
I have been recognized in public and at work.
Some asshole decided, “Hey, I’m gonna make some trouble for this Fag! Tell everyone that I Saw a video of him sucking some dudes dick online.”
It back fired. Everyone I work with already knows I am gay and dont really give a damn about it. He made trouble for himself, guys started to ask him why he was looking for gay stuff on the internet, asked is he needed a bf, asked he wanted to date me.
Ari Gold
He talks so much about people online but mentions nothing about the asshole who posted the video.
Ari Gold
@ErikO: He didn’t say he was filmed without knowing. Most likely he knew and didn’t think it would be posted online.
AtticusBennett
@Tommysole: we have that in common, LOL.
someone put stuff of mine on tumblr. oh well. i don’t mind people knowing where my unexpected confidence comes from, and frankly to those who’ve seen it – i hope it got you off. 😉
MacAdvisor
The first thing this young man should have done was faxed a take-down order to the web site. As he did not give his permission to have his image used, its use violated copyright law. The Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) of 1998. Most web sites will comply with a take down order within minutes. They are cheap to produce and the web is filled with examples.
NateOcean
Look at me, I made a sex tape!
Why is everybody looking at me?
Wait, where are you all going, look a me!
DDstar1me
He’s really cute.
robho3
Here’s an idea….Don’t make a sex tape if you don’t want anyone to see it esp with someone you hardly know. I agree with NateOcean’s post. These kids today want to take pics and videos of every damn thing they do and then are shocked when it shows up on the internet.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
So naturally what you do is go online and point out to more people that the tape is out there. The Kardashians would be proud of that move to get publicity. Well they would if it was a rich black guy with him.
ingyaom
Dude is sexy as hell. See instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lokieskhan/?hl=en
Geeker
I feel a little sorry for him but if you let someone tape you having sex you should be prepared for something like that to happen.
redcarpet30
@ingyaom: He is sexy as hell. Dayum! If I wasn’t an ethical person I’d go look for his sex tape (No I won’t don’t worry).
MarionPaige
wasn’t Hulk Hogan in this situation?
Pistolo
I’m tired of these gay guys who hang out with cliques, get burned and blame it on the “gay community”. Maybe you’re just a poor judge of character, maybe you need too much validation, maybe you’re just not well-rounded enough on your own. I’m part of the gay community by virtue of being gay but not all of us run with a posse or hit the clubs or get mixed up in the local gossip. Circuit party, rentboy problems are not mine.
tham
If he was filmed without him knowing, then that other guy should go to jail.
If he knew he was being filmed and just thought it would never be put online, then he’s a dumb*** with nothing to complain about….
IanHunter
@AtticusBennett: Agreed. He has nothing to be ashamed of. I think it was wrong of the person to post it, but if you are knowingly filming yourself having sex, you must be enjoying it.
Scribe38
@AtticusBennett: @Tommysole: This is what bugs me… Someone makes a sex tape and it posts whatever, but some jerk looking for sex scenes watches and jerks off to it and then attempts to slut shame the person in the film. Like I’m just living my life, and you’re watching me live my life while you stroke and want to complain. If you find someone’s sex tape just enjoy it and shut up.
SonOfKings
Yes, it is mortifying to have your sex tape made public. But in the grand scheme of things, and compared with say, a cancer diagnosis or accidentally killing someone while driving after a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, this is small potatoes. No one is going to remember he was naked and having sex with a dude online when we are shuffling around the nursing home with a walker 60 years from now.
Ukin
What a HOT young man! I’d love to watch his sex tape, with his permission of course.
truckproductions
here’s an idea.. don’t film any sex acts and nothing can be shared online!! These people have the mental capacity of guinea pigs.. the guy admits that he didn’t even particularly like the guy and yet he still wanted to be filmed having sex? Take this as a little life lesson and don’t do it again. There, you learned something you twit.
He BGB
Too late for his mother to make a multi million dollar deal with a porn video company in the Valley, I suppose?
mcflyer54
If he knew the video was being made then he should have realized (maybe even expected) that sooner or later it would circulate. If he didn’t know he was being recorded then he should talk to a lawyer if he’s really that upset. However, my question would be is he that upset about the video being posted or that upset about the video with a guy he “didn’t particularly like” being posted? The best way to avoid having your sex tape broadcast on the Internet is 1) make sure you possess the only copy or 2) don’t make one in the first place.
Kangol
@Scribe38: Great point. Slutshaming someone you are getting off to is so hypocritical! The guy is really cute. The sad thing is that even if he consented to make the tape he might not have wanted it to be public, but nowadays, anything that can be filmed or audiotaped can be shared. I do think things were a bit better when we all had a bit more privacy and had to make an effort to (over)share.
KiDAciDic
Funny thing about the internet is that the video will get buried and forgotten under the millions of xvids submitted everyday. Drawing attention to it honestly just makes it take longer…. unless documenting your victimization is a good way to get views for your own channel or whatnot.
DarkZephyr
@AtticusBennett: I’ve had stuff put on tumblr too. It’s not something I go out of my way to share links of and I certainly have no desire for folks around here to see it, but my over all attitude is a lot like yours. To those that have stumbled across it and enjoyed it, good for them. Glad they like what I have, but I’m not gonna volunteer links to it or let anybody in the gay news blog community know that it’s me. I will admit that my initial reaction was shock and horror, especially since it was a video that was turned into numerous animated gifs and even more especially since it was my fiancé who first pointed it out to me (followed by several friends) but now I’m more “meh. You live, you learn”. It is what it is.
Mkiel
@Geeker: don’t fell sorry the guy is begging for the publicity if you don’t want stuff on internet Don’t let anyone tape you Simple
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Whore’mble-bragging
SnakeyJ
Who is this guy and why is he (probably) leaking his own “sex tape”?
David Bolton
This is what’s known as using a “leaked” sex tape to become Internet-famous.
There is no sex tape. If there were, he wouldn’t be online talking about how it’s devastated his life.
Brian
Silly is as silly does. If you don’t want your sex tape leaked, don’t make one in the first place.
PacoMDFACS
If you don’t like your video “leaked online”, why tape yourself having sex in the first place? And why tape yourself with someone that you don’t “particularly like”? It seems like the iPhone generation really don’t think about the consequences of their actions and like to document every stupid single event in their lives. Maybe this will teach him and every other person in this world that some things are meant to be keep “private”
martinbakman
@AtticusBennett: Yes, it is a weird world to be shamed for something natural and harmless.
Though it seems the pendulum is swinging the other way, where the slut shamers are the ones that ate called into question.
That kid seems really sweet. Hopefully all is well for him. Singapore sounds like a conservative place.
youarekiddingme
The unfortunate thing that many don’t understand is…”once it’s on the Internet, it’s forever…” These tapes, what’s said on social media, all of it is captured and can be easily retrieved (even if you “delete” a nasty message on Facebook) can be retrieved by companies who do it every day. More and more employers use Internet search companies for background checks on prospective employees. Much can be learned on the character of future employees from their posts on the Internet. Many people unkowingly lose employment opportunities because of comments made on their Facebook/Twitter accounts. Beware. I love when people call the LGBTQ Community slurs/anti-Semitic, sexist, ra@ist, etc…let’s see them get a job as a doctor, lawyer, teacher, cop, clergy (of a reputable organization) that uses a very simple Internet search.
Paco
A victim of his own narcissism.
NikeRey
He’s only a victim of his own stupidity.
NikeRey
@youarekiddingme: I see why you did that…Just discovered that Queerty automatically flags posts containing the word ra@ist. Strange, you’d think those using the word would likely be the good people.
daveedo
@David Bolton: agreed. I’ve scoured the web for this guy’s sex tape and still can’t find it. I doubt it exists.
daveedo
also his pronunciation of the word “gif” is obnoxious.
drelocks15
@MacAdvisor: I think you’re expecting too much here.
Ogre Magi
poor guy, that must be a horrible place to be gay