We’ve all heard that tired “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” motto. It’s been used by homophobes since at least 1977. But now, thanks to an unidentified Internet wit, we now know how to shut that argument all the way down.
Related: Facebook user shut down with six perfect words after saying gay men make him ‘puke’
As seen in a screenshot posted to Reddit, some hater wrote, “Being gay is a sin. Bible says Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve.”
And the hero of this story responded, “Not being bisexual is a sin. Bible says Adam and Eve. Not Adam or Eve.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Unfortunately, there’s no Google record of this exchange, but we’ll always have the screenshot.
Related: Cookie metaphor perfectly shuts down religious objections to same-sex marriage
And for more levity, refer to God’s 2011 memoir, The Last Testament, ghostwritten by former Daily Show head writer David Javerbaum:
So one night I caused [Adam] to fall into a deep sleep; fulsomely did I roofie his nectar; and as he slept, I removed a rib, though not a load bearing one.
And from this rib I fashioned a companion for him; a hunk, unburdened by excess wisdom; ripped, and cut, and hung like unto a fig tree before the harvest;
Yea, and a power bottom.
And Adam arose, and saw him, and wept for joy; and he called the man Steve; I had suggested Steven, but Adam liked to keep things informal.
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PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Hate-filled reprehensive smcubags always try and point out obscure passages by that closet case pedophile Leviticus to justify their hatred and bigotry…
But yet in that exact same book of fairy tales, they conveniently seem to ignore these wonderful chestnuts:
• If your child talks back to you must take that child to the public square and kill them
• If your wife is not a virgin on your wedding night you must kill her
• And if dear old Mom wears “gold or baubles” she too must be put to death.
And BTW, here in quotations is EVERYTHING Jesus said about Gays during his time on Earth:
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Josh447
Someone had too much time on their hands…
kris0010
There is no need to argue against it because not everyone is a Christian. It’s like some swamy trying to preach Hindu verses to christians. Religion is a cult, nothing good comes out of it, it’s completely unnecessary.
Jack Meoff
Nailed it
startenout
Actually, many great things have come out of and still do come from religion including art (see DaVinci and Michelangelo), literature (see Chaucer) and music (see most of the music pre-1900 and all of gospel) and musicians (see Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin, Dionne Warwick and so many more contemporary artist who all grew up in church choirs.) Corrected it.
Wheelerman
@startenout
These artists would have made great art from whatever was current during their lifetimes if the Bible wasn’t around. It would be just as beautiful.
kris0010
@startenout- really? Gay people (or anyone caught in a same sex relationship) are LEGALLY jailed, killed and treated like crap in MANY parts of the world (religious/communist Asian countries outnumber liberal countries). Don’t talk art and shit when we ourselves have had to go through SHIT to arrive at this point. I repeat- nothing, NOTHING good comes out of religion.
Stephen
Catholic History
Dark Ages … Gay monks were given church supported commitment ceremonies. Then homophobia was introduced as we sank 8nto the Kali Yurga …. Dark Ages we are now in.
Real estate becàme an issue in 9th century as fami?y of recently deceased priests were evicted to the street. They caught back. Suing successfully the catholíc church for retaining the homes thèy were thrown out of. Asa result of the lose of humanity and real estate the Catholic Church invented ‘The celibacy of Christ’ so we have the heightened homophobia & the end of straight marriages the church is now famous for breaching constantly. All about real estate, not higher spiritual awareness or value of people!
1964 Vatican 2. Pope recents. Apology for making Mary Magdalene a prostitute. (Of course no one paid attention and in 1969 Andrew Lloyd Webber writes Jesus Christ Superstar which has a redeemed prostitute Mary Magdalene.
The Bible was clear. New Testament. It read ‘widows, prostitutes, convicts, poor were people that Rabbis did not talk with but Jesus would’. “Rabbi”, he is called …. he is quoted as being called this many times.
Rabbis, as a safety check to purity, had to be married to practice the religious laws and counselling with laymen and laywomen. Only a committed married Rabbi was safe with men, women and children.
A single man was a danger. A temple higher up.
The wedding at Caneen attended by Jesus, Mary and Mother Mary, is seen by many scholars as ‘that of the well to do widow Mary Magdalene & Jesus’.
Quoted “ But Lord, you love her more than you live us.
You kiss her upon her mouth”, says an apostle.
Aramaic to Hebrew or Latin and then to German and then to English things are lost in translation. And issues at these pre biblical times do not have names or labels. Gay. Incest. Sexual abuse by slave owners.
Age of consent did not exist in the Middle East (aka modern day Morocco). The Old Testament has addressed the biggest social problem of the times past and present. There were/are human trafficking and incest.
It’s a $10 billion dollar a year business … human trafficking in today! And incest is so prevalent I know six kids from high school who suffered incestuous rape from one or both parents.
There was no word or term for incest in 100 BCE to 500 AD. Children were chattel like wives. So the rape of a wife was unthinkable. And who cares? It’s the Old Testament. The Wrathful jealous, angry God that plays poker with Satan while they dream up tortures for Job to lose everything to test his faith, or lack thereof. That’s twisted! My God does no5 test me. I make choices to increase my awareness and the universe is my co-Creator. I am not a victim. I am a survivor.
In short since time immemorial twin spirited people were healers, caregivers, psychics, shamans, birth assistants and sacred ones. This stopped as societies blended to bigger groups that became cities and towns. Belief systems changed, values were compromised or deleted. (See Two Flutes Playing, book).
So the mis interpretation of the ancient Hebrew in Aramaic, the damning of Mary Magdalene, the blessed unions of monks and nuns, the issues of addressing wide-spread incest, … these were what all the temples and churches were trying to address.
Emperor Hadrian’s great life Love … Antonius, dies from drowning, falling into the Nile. Egyptians counsel the grief stricken Emperor that it’s a holy accident, he is a god by Egyptian Tradition since Osiris. Hadrian made a god ofhis lover/partner, and then starts a Bacchus like saint … who blesses same sex couples is wide spread religious group of followers that had temples, carvings, great statues that’s still exist today and actual verifiable historic description thereof.
267 species have homosexuality to date. Birds, penguins, lions. And African authorities say the lions must have seen deviant humans doing this! Laugh Track on HIGH. Lions would have watched to jump and kill or eat sexually active nude humans in their territory.
Different sexual orientations are in all species. If they are out of the heterosexual playbook box, they are nature’s way with giving us much needed population control. We are 60% over populated.
And as racial issues are 400 years old in White USA since the first ship of kidnapped and sold slaves … race and sexual orientation are still the things governments fight to remedy. People are divided still. Racists and sexists. But churches with the least knowledge and poorest judgement speak up the loudest! KKK!
I leave this for you to research. Find out for yourself. Don’t take m6 word. I know this. I studied this for 30 years. Do your own homework and come to your own resolutions. When we cannot accept others our religious beliefs and dogma have gotten in the way of our fundamental spirituality that religion was supposed to guide humanity towards.
Taoism, Shintoism, Buddhism, etc. Very few religions are stepping stones to the A to Z of developing greater spiritual self awareness of the origin of self, others, life. Let’s also love the bat shit crazy latest study by a person who has exhaustive science to prove all non heterosexual activity is actually possession by mild to severe ghosts taking residence in us. Female ghosts in men = gays. Male ghosts in women = lesbians and transsexuals.
Acceptance is art the heart of all great mystical practices and greater philosophies. World changing laws are there to bring us into greater love and acceptance of diversity in all forms. Forget tolerance. I don’t want to be “tolerated”. I am not an unwanted flesh rash. I am a human being evolving with predispositions I can change to better myself, and pre dispositions that are fluid or permanent that support me to live outside the box for greater awareness and happiness.
A Straight pill will never work. I would flush it immediately.
I am what I am
I am that I am
I am
All spiritual expressions of being non judgemental gives us and the God of our choosing a greater way to be diverse, unlimited, god like and love incarnate and live to return to in the non physical.
My musical satire, ‘ Life After Life After Life. ‘. A non-binary group of people supporting radical living Acceptance in self and others, with karma and past and future lives.
kygoldenrod
excellent response. i agree. and some new info. can we communicate directly?
Daggerman
..why do people refuse to acknowledge facts. The Bible is certainly NOT a reflection of the truth, by any means. Homosexuality is the most natural involvement there is. And as far as proof goes how can mankind prove heterosexuality was around before homosexuality? We obviously have so much more evolving to do…all the stupid out-dated attitudes are dragging us back. Along with this timeless time anything will happen. I really cannot believe the cowards in this life.