Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].
It’s rare that a winner for Douche of the Week is abundantly apparent. Usually there are at least a half-dozen candidates that we have to throw darts at consider seriously before making our pick.
But this week it was a no-brainer.
Republican Presidential hopeful Herman Cain made an ass of himself on The Piers Morgan Show when he indicated he thought being gay or lesbian was a choice. “I think it’s a sin because of my biblical beliefs and, although people don’t agree with me, I happen to think that it is a personal choice,” he told Morgan. “I respect their right to make that choice. You don’t see me bashing them. I respect them to have the right to make that choice [but] I don’t have to agree with it. That’s all I’m saying.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
To his credit, Morgan asked how Cain would feel if people said he chose to be African-American. “Piers, Piers. This doesn’t wash off. I hate to burst your bubble,” Cain replied.
We assume Cain referring to his skin color, but maybe he meant his stupidity?
Dan Savage went off on Cain yesterday, adding that if sexuality really is something we choose then Cain, presumably a lifelong heterosexual, should be able to switch sides and give the noted sex columnist a blow job. (Excuse us while we wipe that mental picture from our brain.)
But as others have pointed out, being gay is a kind of choice: We can choose to live authentically as the LGBT people we truly are, or we can lead flat, shackled lives pretending to be something we’re not.
You know, like a politician.
All together now: What a douche!
christopher di spirito
Herman Cain reminds me of Idi Amin.
He a Koch Brothers loyalist and very dangerous. He will never be the Republican nominee for president. Ain’t going to happen. Four weeks from now people will join Mama Grifter, AKA, Sarah Palin. People will ask, “Herman who?”
Robert in NYC
His dumbass 999 tax is not supported by the GOP so he’s going to be history. Let’s face it, what a bunch of dumbass clowns they have vying for the presidency. None too bright and definitely no intelllectual curiosity with perhaps the exception of Gingrich although he has moments of dumbness and nutbaggery.
Michael
Oh lordy another DUMBASS another week of bigoted fools like Cain.
Gay is a choice like being a fucking moron is a choice.Way to go Herman since you respect my choice ( again dumbass) to be gay Ill respect your choice to be an ignorant dipshit.
xander
In what universe would rational voters support someone as ill informed as Herman Cain to run a government? I simply do not understand his appeal. He has no coherent policies to suggest. A twelve-year old could punch holes in his logic.
Perhaps the GOP is ‘ saving’ their A team for the next presidential election?
ewe
Where in the hell is the science that proves being heterosexual is not a choice. I don’t see it so that means straight people are choosing to be straight instead of gay. I mean that is just going to be my opinion until you can show me scientific proof Mr. Buffoon Herman Pizza Man. This guy has no experience. He should at least try to run for the recycling commission before the Presidency of the United States. PATHETIC.
EdWoody
I say again – shoot the idiot and be done with it.
WillBFair
The msm is using us as a wedge issue in both of these cases. Morgan makes a non argument and so leaves Cain’s nutkookery unchallenged. Savage not only makes a weak argument, but turns vulgar, which makes us look like trash.
Both of them are employees of the msm. Morgan’s history is obvious. And Savage was never chosen as a spokesman by gay people. He was hired long ago by commercial interests to replace serious discussion in the public square with nonissues. And he has a long history of dumbfoolery. This is just the latest version.
When the queer community realize they’re being used in this way, they might insist on their own educated spokesmen in the msm. But the community is too obsessed with looks to recognize brains. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to be used to help elect horrifying republicans.
ChrisC
Only in America would they consider electing a Pizza Man President.
ewe
@WillBFair: I have always been saying the same thing as Savage without the vulgarity. If you want to attack vulgarity go after the evangelicals.
Ian
http://mariopiperni.com/idiots/the-simple-little-mind-of-herman-cain.php
the crustybastard
Let’s just assume Cain’s point for a moment. Even assuming being gay IS a choice…SO WHAT?
Don’t free people enjoy the right to make such deeply personal decisions? Isn’t choosing to define oneself the most fundamental exercise of liberty? Aren’t choices about romance and pleasure the very definition of the pursuit of happiness?
Sure, people are born with certain identity characteristics which do not provide a reason for the state to discriminate against individuals or the group who shares those characteristics, e.g. race and gender.
But other identity characteristics are a matter of CHOICE, and they likewise provide no reason for the state to discriminate, e.g. members of religious sects or naturalized citizens.
In short, the government has no right or power to create a minority — identifiable by birth or by choice — for the purpose of discriminating against them.
The distinction is irrelevant.
the crustybastard
@EdWoody:
Stop calling for people to be murdered, goddammit!
This kind of shit is PRECISELY the sort of “evidence” our opponents use to “prove” teh gheys are out to get them.
Ludovic
Piers’ question about choosing to be African-American is just as stupid as Cain’s initial response to the gay question. It might have been better to be ready to respond by quoting what scientists have said about choosing to be gay. There are much stronger arguments there that would have illustrated more fully how much of a jackass Cain is.
WillBFair
@ewe: I was trained by SF queens in the 70s. And I enjoy not just vulgarity, but total sleaze.
It’s just not a smart strategy in the msm. Please, dear. Put aside the emototional issues, and consider strategy.
ewe
@WillBFair: Stategy. You want fucking “real.” You make damn sure that black evangelicals are reminded of their race so they think twice about persecuting LGBT people using gODD as a shield. That’s is fucking even strategy DEAR. Call a fucking spade a spade and keep pc crap for a classroom lecture.
Columbus
@ewe: I think you need to telephone his black slave masters which made sure his ancestors embraced god and proper Christian values.
Old values, habits die hard. You can thank the good old south for that.
ewe
@Columbus: I understand that gODD was used as a defense in many a court case since the 1600s establishing that any african slave who had the ability to believe in gODD could not be considered a savage. That reasoning came from Judges who had to admit and rule that if black people said they believed in faith the exact same way as the white judges did then no one could be 3/5ths of a human being. Institutional racist logic was that an animal would not and could not be conscious enough to desire baptism. That is American History. I understand fully the appreciation that african americans have for religion and the gratitude expressed for a universal supreme being but some people, black and white evangelicals alike and certainly this Herman Cain pizza man are now using that same religion to persecute gay people of all races, creeds and genders. “It’s just how i feel honey. It’ simply my opinion is all.” Bullshit. We are witnessing evangelicals abusing the same gODD that was used for salvation. We are witnessing how evil disgraceful people hide behind religion to openly opress other human beings they have labeled the “other.” Hypocrites must be reminded of their distortion no matter how abrupt or hostile the reaction may be. And it is the only way to rub hypocrisy into the faces of those liberated by the same entity now being used as a weapon against us. It is the only way to shut the ignorant up.
WillBFair
@ewe: I have gone after evangelicals. But I don’t have a platform to do the job. The fact is, evangelicals are give a never-ending, unchallenged platform by the msm. Commercial media does not allow liberal christianity to speak, but lets these nut jobs spit their stupidity nonstop.
I, and many others, could slice the evangelicals into chopsuey in three seconds. That is if we were given time in the studio.
Again. The msm is using us.
Blaming any other group is a distraction. It’s like that legal guy on Towleroad trying to get us to blame the scotus for wall street’s depradations. It’s diversion and distraction, the standard method by which hipocrits ignore the real issues.
WillBFair
@ewe: Yikes. After reading your comment a second time, I’m stumped. To me, it makes zero sese, and I shouldn’t have responded. We’re in different Universes.
iDavid
@WillBFair,
Queerty failed by not playing the entire clip showing Piers taking Cain to the mat regarding “common sense”. This clip gives a fuller scope of the interview and is from Truthwinsout.com’s website.
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/2011/10/19427/
ewe
@WillBFair: That’s ok with me. Happy trails.
CBRad
@WillBFair: Off topic, but do they still have that legal doofus over at Towleroad? I swear that dickhead Andrew Towle just puts him there because he thinks an extremely Jewish name adds legal credibility. And if the guy had any credibility he wouldn’t be on THAT blog.
Shannon1981
Herman Cain is dangerous all the way round. Let’s list his ideologies so far:
-He thinks being gay is a choice.
-He is against abortion, even for rape and incest victims. One could assume he would also be against it if the mother’s life were at stake.
-He’s loyal to the Koch Brothers.
-This 999 bullshit.
-He seems to be racist against his own race, and blames poor people for everything.
There’s more, but I think you get my drift.
MattGMD
Every election cycle the repubs will default to the wedge issues that have long been polarizing to the bases of each party: guns, god, gays, abortion. It is a trend that started with Reagan as that is the first time the far-right were so warmly welcomed into the political sphere. Falwell, Robertson, et al., previously were not given the attention that Reagan’s team gave them in pandering for votes. Once in the limelight, they were hooked and have used those millions of potential votes ever since to stay relevant.
Shannon1981
Yo, Queerty, why you flagging me?
Cain is dangerous. End of story. No abortions, even if the woman is raped? Is he serious? Being gay is a choice? He is absolutely outrageous, and an Uncle Tom to boot.
Steve
“Uncle Tom Cain” — I like the sound of that. It fits. Too bad so many people have never read Uncle Tom’s Cabin, or even seen the movie, and have no clue about what the name means.
This election will not be decided by race or creed. It will be decided by economics. The democrats really only need to be sure that people in the lower 99%, know that they are in the lower 99%, and that the republicans are bought and paid for by the top 1%.
Herman Cain is, clearly, bought-and-paid-for by the Koch brothers. He doesn’t even represent millionaires. He only represents billionaires.
delurker
Herman Cain makes Jesse Jackson sound like Sir Ian McKellen.
Politcally Incorrect Thug
Q: How come it is that, in the eyes of the Left, a white man who doesn’t agree with Obama’s policies is a racist, but a white man who disagrees with Cain perceives himself to be politically astute?
Little Kiwi
if it were a choice then there’d be no such thing as The Closet, as people would be happily making their Choice.
that The Closet still exists to such an alarmingly high and detrimental level proves that it’s not a choice
that said, even if being LGBT *was* a choice it doesn’t meant it wouldn’t be a choiced we should be punished for making. it harms no one. by contrast, being anti-LGBT harms EVERYONE.
being religious is a choice.
you couldn’t pay me to be straight. got the magic pill Cure? great. i don’t want it. i fucking LOVE being a gay man. i wouldn’t change it for the world.
Little Kiwi
@Politcally Incorrect Thug: PIT, we all know that you and your family hate Obama because he’s black and his middle name is “Hussein”.
your intent and motivation are obvious. you voted for McCain/Palin. Therefore you’re not to be taken seriously. Keep hating Obama because he’s black. maybe it’ll buy you one more day of tolerance from The Right whose asses you keep kissing.
delurker
@Politcally Incorrect Thug: When you are not playing the perpetual whiny victim, you spend your spare time constructing strawmen.
Notice how you don’t dare criticize the diarrhea flowing from Cain’s mouth, but use the opportunity yet again to show conservatives are the real victims. That tune is played out.
Little Kiwi
fact: the only people who talk about “white liberal guilt” are white conservative racists who insist that everyone who isnt’ racist is guilted into it by a “PC culture”
wrong. we’re just above your level of mediocrity.
Politically Incorrect Thug
@Little Kiwi: I’d state how predictable it is that your response was nothing but a childish opportunity to start your predictable name-calling, and that it lacked any attempt to answer the question I posed—but that in itself would be predictable.
Again: Why are we anti-Obama white guys labeled racist, but you anti-Cain white guys are all good and noble? I’m interested to hear your point of view—anyone but Little Kiwi’s, that is (his ideas are so predictable I could write them for him).
Politically Incorrect Thug
@delurker: Again, you misinterpret my actions as defensive. I’m not defending Cain. I wouldn’t vote for the man. I’m asking a legitimate question about race and politics: Why are Obama’s opponents racist, but Cain’s aren’t?
Little Kiwi
you’re not racist because you’re anti-Obama, you’re clearly racist because you have no intelligent, rational or fact-based reasons for being anti-Obama. There’s a difference. You prove, time and time again, that your self-hating homophobia and racism will be your downfall in life. it must suck to have to be a racist and anti-gay gay man in order for your family to tolerate you. your life is your own prison.
tjr101
This black guy is most certainly in the right party, what an Uncle Tom!
ousslander
@Little Kiwi: when did he demonstrate such things? he asked a civil question and all you can do is start the name calling to cover the fact you cannot have a conversation on an adult level.
I am sure you will have nothing to say about the racist comment made by tjr101. Hypocrites!
Pocket Otter
@Little Kiwi: I feel I must point out the obvious fact that any psych 101 student on the planet would tell you that your barrage of insults constantly hurled at the many commenters on this site regarding how much their families have rejected them is purely projection on your part as a result of feeling unloved by your own family. I understand that by saying this you’ll now attack me and my familial relationships as well, but like I said, the obvious must be pointed out. Maybe try a different tactic for a change?
Little Kiwi
pocket otter, check my blog. you’ll see how wrong you are about that. 😀
but no, you’re right. i’m totally sure that PIT’s choice to vote for McCain/Palin and attack all things “liberal” and black has nothing at all to do with sucking up to a white bigoted family. i stand corrected 😉
any psych 101 student knows a self-loathing doormat for life when they see one. PIT fits the bill. tjr101 is black. he’s allowed to call Cain an Uncle Tom.
PIT isn’t here to be real. PIT is a troll and should be seen and treated as such.
Allen D.
He’s amusing. The built-in (but often denied) racism of your typical Republican means that THEY won’t even vote for him. But it’s cute that they act like he has a shot. *pats him on the head*
Allen D.
He’s amusing. The built-in (but often denied) racism of your typical Republican means that THEY won’t even vote for him). But it’s cute that they act like he has a shot. *pats him on the head*
ousslander
So being black allows you to make racist statement about someone who doesn’t boot step with your ideology? Makes perfect sense now
Little Kiwi
it’s pointing out that those of us who don’t still live in fear of The Bully can see the wimps who do for what they are.
there’s a reason certain members of specific minority groups suck up to The Bully – it’s all about saving their own ass.
and you’re one more white boy that doesn’t get it. congrats.
Politically Incorrect Thug
@Allen D.:
@Little Kiwi:
@delurker:
Your overt racism is astounding, but at the same time I must admit how amusing it is watching the Left self-implode over the notion of a successful black man within the Republican party, and what a threat that is to your sense of place in the universe. Amusing indeed.
Little Kiwi
and watching a gay man like you complain about “the left” is like listening to Anne Frank complain about attics.
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com/2011/07/hissey-fit.html
this is exactly what P.I.T. is.
keep towing the line for the GOP, PIT. i’m sorry that the rest of us don’t need to castrate ourselves to be accepted. we’re accepted, you’re tolerated. once a doormat, always a doormat.
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com/2011/07/hissey-fit.html
WillBFair
@iDavid: I saw the entire clip on tv. And I still say it was a weak argument. Common sense can mean anything. He should have given the scientific evidence, and should have asked Cain when he chose to be straight, and if he did, if it was hard to overcome his taste for dick.
There are a ton of air-ight arguments that would flatten the right in three seconds. But the msm don’t allow them on air.
Skeloric
If being “Gay” is such a choice, why would we choose it?
Lets look at the history of just how DANGEROUS being “Gay” is.
Not least of all is that we now often adorn ourselves with Pink Triangles out a sense of reclaiming what was once as much of a death sentence as being marked with a Star of David.
From being included in a list of “undesirables”in the most coldly calculated mass genocide in history during Axis occupation of Europe in WWII, all the way to “hate crime” murders still appearing on newspaper headlines even in the last few weeks — honestly, if we thought being “Gay” washed off, would we have tried it?
Oh yeah, we often do try it AND FAIL, often times hurting an entire family we created until essentially FALSE pretenses until we finally stop lying to ourselves.
Those who are trying to “protect the family” really should be encouraging us not to pretend to be straight — nothing harms a family more than one of the parents suddenly divorcing to live out the honesty of finally loving who they really want to love.
But they aren’t REALLY trying to “protect the family” which is why such an argument would fail against them.
delurker
@Politically Incorrect Thug: what did i say that was racist? lol@cain being “successful” what has he won?
GregR
I was informed yesterday that some people think “being gay” means when men engage in gay sex. That is what “being gay” is to them. That’s why they say it’s a choice. They are so stupid that they don’t realize that being gay is who we are. Yes, we choose to have sex with men but only because we are gay. I can’t believe that people are that stupid. Being gay does not mean having sex with a man, being gay is who we are as people. We are attracted to men. We have romantic, emotional and loving feelings towards men. The sex is a bonus. It’s no wonder this argument keeps going. The people who say “being gay” is a choice don’t even know what they are talking about. And this idiot thinks he can be president? Good luck with that Herman Cain. Idiot.
Skeloric
We’ve already elected an idiot once and then he got reelected — Ol’ Dubya from Texas proves that one doesn’t have to a total congenital idiot to get Republican endorsement…. OR SNAP, OF COURSE THEY DO.
Its like a law of physics or something.
GregR
@Ludovic: Considering Piers’ comment, this was a bad show to be discussing the issue. Two people who have no idea what they are talking about. Making idiotic statements as if they do.
Cam
People who think being gay is a choice would only think that if they had homosexual feelings and have CHOSEN not to act on them.
btseven
Herman Cain can lick my sour brown hole….
Skeloric
@btseven: Why in hell would you ever want him to be that near to you, even if you were planning to give him a surprise “candy bar”…