“Folks, if you don’t like the jokes or the service today, there are six ways out of this airplane,” the fabulous and completely fierce male flight attendant, dressed in neatly pressed khaki shorts and an American flag necktie, announced at the beginning of his pre-flight safety announcements. “Feel free to use them.”
Passengers flying from Chicago to San Francisco were then treated to four very gay, very hilarious minutes of reminders about how to buckle their seat belts, where to locate their life preservers, and what to do in the event of a decompression that included lots of attitude, as well as references to Gone With The Wind and Bye Bye Birdie.
“Now, the ladies and I certainly wouldn’t have shown up for work tonight if we had an anticipated a decompression,” the flight attendant confessed. “But in the event of a decompression, four saffron yellow buttercup masks designed by Gucci and Martha Stewart, well, they’re going to drop from that compartment overhead.”
At another point, he offers fashion advices to some of the passengers, telling them: “I’m so sorry, but what I noticed through the boarding process is an awful lot of you need a little fashion consultation.”
But the best line is about smoking in the lav: “Do not be naughty in the potty. It’s $2200 for tampering with a smoke detector in the lavatory. And you know if you had $2000 you’d be [flying] first class.”
Watch the hilarity unfold in the video below.