THE NAUGHTY LIST

Hilarious Or Offensive? Seven More Gag Gifts Poking Fun At Gays

Screen Shot 2013-12-13 at 5.12.55 PMResidents of Gimli, Manitoba were “mortified” and “embarrassed” this week to learn that a local retailer had been selling “Gay Away” pills, a candy gag gift that both “cures gayness” and “stops the craving for misbehaving.”

The product was pulled from store shelves once a 12-year-old girl mistakenly believed the pills were authentic and wound up on the local news. The store’s owner quickly offered a public apology and claims the sale was an “honest mistake.”

Gay Away pills are manufactured by Laughrat, a Toronto-based company that offers other tasteful products like Hornitos, Extra Strength Fuckitol and Bonergizer. Some of you argued that novelty gifts don’t always have to be politically correct, calling Gay Away pills more hilarious than offensive.

Does the sentiment hold true for all questionably offensive gay gag gifts, or are these gag gifts just plain offensive?

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Talking Gaydar Keychain

Is he gay? Is he straight? Can’t tell? Why not let an offensive keychain offer the definitive answer? The talking “Gaydar Keychain” has “amazing powers of detection” and offers instant results. All you have to do is aim the device at your subject, press a button, and hear an awful gay stereotype accuse your friends of being gay. (Then, you should probably punch yourself in the face.) Eight years and up.

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That’s So Gay! Sound Machine

“We all wish we had our very own very gay best friend,” say the makers of the That’s So Gay! Sound Machine. Those who don’t have access to a gay can easily “add fun to any dinner party” with this machine, which takes the place of your “sassy and flamboyant” gay friend by spewing “25 of the gayest expressions ever heard.”

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Grow Up to Be Gay Magnet Set

Help any “little boy” grow up to be gay with this vintage magnet set that includes pink hair tools and accessories as part of the “Hairdresser” set. Little boys that wish to grow up gay through other professions can choose from “Nurse,” “Interior Designer,” and “Figure Skater”.

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“Heyyyyyyyyy! You’re gay!” T-Shirt

Nothing says it’s okay to say this! quite like an offensive slogan on a t-shirt. Insulting apparel has long been a favorite choice of men who are too cowardly to voice their opinions aloud, so they’ll absolutely love to add this fabulousHeyyyyyyyyy! You’re gay!” top to their collection.

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Inflatable Gay Best Friend

It seems like everyone wants a gay best friend these days! For those who just can’t get the full experience from the keychain above, there is still hope with the “Inflatable g*y Best Friend.” British grocery chain Tesco came under fire earlier this year for offering the inflatable dude for sale online. The item has since been pulled from shelves, but don’t worry! Amazon still has it!

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Instant Gay Accent

What the hell is a gay accent, exactly? Whatever it is, you can have it instantly with this “exquisite breathmist for the discerning mouth.”

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Gay Bar

The gay bar actually looks kind of hot, until you read the product’s description:

Sometimes we are just in the mood for a gay bar. Ok, a lot of times we are in the mood for a gay bar. Now, you can have one nestled comfortably in your bag or pocket! This gay bar will have you screaming “DO YOU BELIEVE” louder than Cher ever did. Sometimes you don’t have time for the bar and if you crave hot men, fun drink recipes, advice and even more hot men then this gay bar is what you need. The bar is filled with fruits (insert joke here), nuts, seeds and loads of other natural ingredients. Hangover not included.

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18 Comments

  • Tyler100

    I’m sure the OMM of the gay world, JimBryant is clutching his pearls over every single one of these items. He’s just ever so pissed about people associating homosexuality with effeminacy. His hyper butch persona is undermined by such connotations. As we all know, you’re only as masculine as everyone else believes you to be.

  • boring

    I too went to a Spencer’s Gifts once.

  • DShucking

    @Tyler100: You do realize he’s a troll, right?

  • Tyler100

    @DShucking:

    Duh. That’s why I love messing with him and goading him on. Just to make the biggest fool out of himself that he can.

  • tom-ba

    I confess that I kinda liked the GayAway ‘product’.

    I mean, look at the hair on the picture of the inventor/doctor/promoter/huckster. I cannot imagine a straight man making this packaging. Except maybe Al Jaffee.

    But then, I must confess to having been an avid fan of Mad Magazine, and yes, even Cracked when I was a kid.*

    And, really, who couldn’t use a backup GayDar with a fresh battery when the bar light is just a little too dim and the cigarette smoke is a bit too thick?

    And what kind of person is going to purchase, and then go around in public (or even in their bedroom) using an electrical device that shouts “Hey, Mary!!!” on command? Think about it.

    ——-
    * And also much, much, later. But then, Al Jaffee is funny even today.

  • clrkmclrk

    I dont find any of those products offensive…a little crappy but not offensive…..some people need to lighten up

  • AuntieChrist

    Hey there’s jb’s inflatable boyfriend…I still want to get the pills for a stocking stuffer, the other things are okay but more stupid than funny.

  • hex0

    Don’t find this sort of thing offensive but do find straights oh so boring and tiring at finding gays soo hilarious.

  • stranded

    @clrkmclrk:
    exactly.

  • Deepdow

    I don’t like it myself though I wouldn’t protest over it. 20th century boomer gag gifts are so corny anyway.

  • Sebizzar

    All rubbish except the Gay Bar :D

  • Stache1

    @boring: I miss Spenser Gifts. I don’t think I ever bought anything though.

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  • the other Greg

    @Tyler100: Oh I think jimbryant liked at least ONE of these. Now we know where he got his inflatable boyfriend!

  • Pistolo

    I really hate stuff like this. We’re one of the only acceptable minorities to pick on in this particular way. Just think if the “gay” in all of these products was replaced….

    “Instant Ebonic Accent”
    “Jew Detector”
    “Inflatable Black Friend”
    A t-shirt that says “Heey! You’re Ghetto”
    “Chinese Sound Machine: All the words with R’s they can’t pronounce”

    If it weren’t gay, it would all be outrageously inappropriate and unthinkable. But because people are so comfortable pigeonholing us, so comfortable spotting us out and identifying us to make us the “other”…it’s perfectly acceptable.

    It’s totally offensive.

  • dougmc92

    I’d pay GOOD money for a bottle of ‘Str8 accent’ I love being gay- but I’ve had the lisp since I was 13- bullied all through school without being out- they heard it/knew.

  • Lookyloo

    “What the hell is a gay accent, exactly?”

    C’mon. We all know what a ‘gay accent’ is.

    Now there’s nothing wrong with having a gay accent – and straight people are now realizing that most gay men don’t speak that way – but let’s not pretend it isn’t a thing that exists.

Comments are closed.