Controversy

Hip-hop artist Steve Lacy comes out as bisexual… but he’d never date a black guy

Heard of Steve Lacy? At 19 years old, the hip-hop artist has already produced tracks for the likes of Vampire Weekend, GoldLink and Kendrick Lamar. He’s also a member of hip hop act The Internet and the mastermind behind the single “4Real,” which Stereogum calls “very cool,” “off-kilter,” and “deeply Prince-influenced.”

Oh, and he’s totally okay with discussing the fact that he’s bisexual.

That became clear last summer. Lacy was asked in a Tumblr post whether he was straight, gay, or bisexual.

His response? “I’m human.”

Later, when asked if he’d ever consider dating a guy, he replied, “Sure, why not.”

So far, so great. But some of his recent comments have stoked outrage, which isn’t exactly difficult to do nowadays.

During a conversation with fans and commenters, Lacy mentioned he’s not keen on having black men as romantic partners.

“Okay i get that you see it as a preference,” said one commenter. “But don’t you think you owe it to yourself to break down the dynamics that lead you to have a blatantly anti-black preference in partners?”

Lacy replied:

“The reason for it all isn’t anti-black at all. Growing up around black males, they were always my competitors ya know? I never viewed or saw myself doing anything sexual with my neighbors. I literally, like I said, see them as brothers.

“As much as you or whoever thinks this sounds like b.s., it’s from a real place. I’m a nigga from Compton, I don’t dislike black people, I prefer to live here and be around POC because I love black people. I’m just not attracted to black boys, that is it. I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date. Sorry.”

Needless to say, this rankled some people, including journalist Daryl Perry, a self-described “16-year-old intersectional feminist and Instagram enthusiast.”

Related: “Flash” star proudly comes out as bisexual

In a piece for Affinity magazine catchily headlined “Bisexual Artist Steve Lacy Declares That He Would Never Date Black Men – Why This Is Toxic,” she writes:

Lacy feels as [if] it’s almost incestuous for him to want to date black men. How is that not anti-black? How is not being attracted to a whole race of people justified? It isn’t, and shouldn’t be. Lacy has no actual reasoning for his preferences, and just dug himself into a bigger hole…

He’s treating a whole group of people as the few he’s grown up with, which is making a generalization. Lacy’s comparing every black boy on earth to the people he grew up with, which is inaccurate, but just wrong. That’s equivalent to me meeting one POC who says they hate black people and thinking “Everyone of that particular community is racist.” Not okay.

Meanwhile, other people wholly appreciate Lacy’s perspective.

bbrevn writes on Medium:

A preference is literally that, a preference. Cultivated uniquely and individually through ones unique and individual experience. Unless you are a black gay male from Compton who grew up exactly like Steve, you, surprisingly, might not get where he’s coming from. Why cancel him?

He LITERALLY states that he sees black men as brothers. I’d be mad if he said he couldn’t stand black men. But this—this is logical. It’s not as if being gay is celebrated or seen as a beneficial thing in almost any black community. Who knows when Steve realized his sexuality. Who knows how Steve realized his sexuality.

Following all this back-and-forth, Lacy has said pointblank that he’s not answering any more questions about his sexuality:  

Furthermore, he wrote on Twitter that we should all “let kids be themselves without having to announce what/who they’re into sexually.”

Do you see a problem with Levy stating he’d never date black men? Sound off in the comments below.

h/t: NewNowNext

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58 Comments

  • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

    Damn. I was fearing when the trash LGBT sites would come for Steve about this. Steve is a god. Dark Red is song of the year.

    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      I feared that* the trash

  • BriBri

    Whatever fluffs your skirt!

  • whatsaywhat

    The objects of a 19 year old bisexual African American man’s desire are of nobody’s concern but his own. He doesn’t require the input of “intersectional feminists” on who he ought and ought not to be attracted to. People’s personal sexual tastes are not up for public consultation & negotiation.

    • demetreus

      So then why did he make it public then?

  • Xzamilloh

    Not surprising at all. You find most of the “woke pro-black people” so keen on calling everyone a racist and other black people like me who don’t subscribe to every notion of oppression and “white guilt” an uncle tom are the main ones with white men/women. But, who cares what he’s attracted to, or what anyone else is attracted to? It’s inconsequential, so enough with the double standards. Besides, I didn’t want to have sex with him before knowing this, and I still don’t. But “Girl” is one of my favorite songs.

    • Donston

      I’m not so certain about your take. I don’t try to put a racial stamp on everything, but I’m not ignorant to ways of society. Just because you are “pro black” or are willing to call out racial injustice and oppression doesn’t mean that you should only date black people. The two do not coincide.

    • Xzamilloh

      Except in MY take, it makes no sense to be so anti-white and against so-called racial injustice and oppression and then turn right around and date your so-called oppressors. Or maybe it’s the fact that because of my views, I keep getting accused of cooning for the white peen even though I have never once slept with a white man. I’d love to see real racial injustices called out instead of every instance of a micro-aggression being ratcheted up to DEFCON 1 racism. In any case, like I said, who cares who he dates, but if we need to analyze the reasoning behind why Whitey McGrindrPreference doesn’t want “Rice or Chocolate in his milk”, Lacy’s questionable answer does not warrant the same level of scrutiny. And I stand behind what I said… think of most of the prominent voices online and in the media always talking about race, and then look at their spouse. It’s just weird to me

    • Donston

      Stating that there is racial oppression and prejudice, and systematic and sociological change is needed isn’t the same thing as saying all whites are racist. Yes, there are some in the latter group. And yes, there are even some in that latter group that are married to non-black people. But the point isn’t deferred. “I’m not so sure if I buy what you guys are saying because at least 30% of you are with non-black people”- that’s not a real counter-argument.

    • Xzamilloh

      “Stating that there is racial oppression and prejudice, and systematic and sociological change is needed isn’t the same thing as saying all whites are racist”

      Okay, enough of this. Give me some hard examples of the racial oppression we experience here in America, because I’m not about to entertain this crap anymore. If you can keep saying that there is racial oppression and prejudice without providing any examples, don’t even bother trying to come at me when you have hardly met your own burden of proof.

    • Xzamilloh

      And where did you get “30%”? I let you slide with the first comment because I didn’t say crap about “dating only black people” but now you’re just running out with putting words in my mouth. And I don’t buy what the pro-black movement is saying because they aren’t pro-black at all. If they were really pro-black they would be calling out the dregs in our communities in addition to police brutality, instead of trying to trump one as being systematic and the other a product of said system… in any case, the dregs escape any real responsibility because it’s whitey’s fault for everything. Effing blow me with that mess. We’re adults. I think I’m done with this site for today.

    • Donston

      I don’t believe I made any political statements. I was just saying the “you’re dating white people so you can’t speak on racism” argument is a very problematic one and reveals a narrow mind. But dude, you know damn well I don’t need to give you any examples. If you watched anything but FOX NEWS you’d have plenty of examples, and you’d know that much of that “dreg” is connected to the discrimination and oppression. I’m not here to have these types of discussions. But nothing is black or white. There are failings everywhere. You can admit that there are issues with many things at once and that much of it is connected to each other, which most Conservative-minded people have a problem with comprehending.

    • Xzamilloh

      I didn’t say a damn thing about someone not speaking on racism because they’re dating a white person… are you looking at what my words, or are you just seeing what you want to see? Because this is a shining example of a strawman… you’re refuting an argument NO ONE made. Who watches Fox News for anything other than blonde bobbleheads and “Muh Gawd and Muh Guns” propaganda for the octogenarian generation? I don’t watch Fox News, CNN, or MSNBC because they have a blatant self-serving agenda of spins and half-truths, but please tell me all about my viewing habits like you have firsthand knowledge. I also asked you, as a person of color, to give me, another person of color, examples of racial oppression that we face. And what you give me? Nothing. Why don’t you stop assuming that anyone not parroting every liberal talking point is a conservative, because that’s just lazy and small minded.

  • Donston

    He didn’t have the nerve to just say that he’s just not attracted to black men. So, he had to come up with this competition crap.

    Almost all these men who say things like “I’m human”, “I don’t believe in labels”, etc tend to be either inherently gay or very gay-leaning men looking to desperately hold on to some sense of hetero-normalcy (“gay” and “homo” are particularly the last thing a young, semi-butch black guy who sees himself as “edgy” wants to be associate with) or sexual megalomaniacs who look to mess around with any and everything for the sake of “different feelings” or guys into very, very young people. It is what it is.

    He should have had enough sense to not say he’s only into white guys. He put the info out. No one forced it. However, he’s not particularly problematic. And he is still young. But these types of guys are proving to be more of the rule than the exception.

    • alfred

      “He should have had enough sense to not say he’s only into white guys. He put the info out. No one forced it”

      Thats the irony of him then complaining about how people shouldn’t need to ‘come out’ etc and just let people live, and closet shouldn’t be a ‘thing’ etc, when he had NO need to say the type of guys that he was attracted to. That IS something that doesn’t need to be announced in the same way that sexuality should lmao. Surprised he hasn’t said he only a top yet…..

  • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

    Who can say for sure what *anybodys* psychosexual motivations are underlying their sexual interests and preferences? …Oh wait the callout queens from the University of Grievanceville CAN say for absolutely certain because they developed a way of tapping into brains with their patented Woke Rays. Silly—problematic—me.

    • Donston

      You’re always so willing to call out BS or call out the obvious, except when it goes against what you wish to see, and especially when it comes to defending young black dudes saying silly stuff. Let’s not pretend like patterns aren’t patterns. I think you’re smart enough to have noticed certain patterns by now without my assistance.

      As far as your post underneath, opposites attract indeed… in some cases. You can’t help what you build attraction for, passion for, romantic instincts for, etc. It’s all out of your hands. I’m definitely not judging on that front, especially as a half-black (or simply “black”) guy who’s married to a white guy. However, I have had relationships with a few men and they were all of different races. So, that just doesn’t matter to me. It’s just naive for a public figure to not expect backlash when they say they’re not into their own race, especially for a black guy to say it. Also, while he wasn’t disrespectful, his reasoning was lame. You think white guys are hot and they make your dick harder than black guys. If you felt the need to state your racial preferences then just keep it real and keep it pushing. But he is young and green in the industry and still “figuring stuff out”.

    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      Oh I’m not gainsaying that what he said was anything other than impolitic.. that’s the problem tho. Thoughtpolice don’t deal in nuance and grey areas

    • Donston

      Well, we know I’m all about the self-important and being long-winded, I mean nuance.

  • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

    Not saying it’s the case in this instance, but it’s not unknown for some gay people that have an urge or instinct to form attractions and relationships along the “opposites attract” different polarities, maybe as an analogue of heterosexual relationships, be that in terms of big age differences, heights, class/wealth, masculine/effeminate, or indeed racial. Whose to say it’s wrong, or that such a person isn’t just naturally wired that way, or shouldn’t be just left the fûck alone to pursue their own happiness the way only they themselves know best

    • whatsaywhat

      Exactly. Thank you.

      Shouldn’t the would-be Woke Police leave “problematizing” and policing individuals’ sexual expression to the fascists?

  • Kieran

    HONESTY ALERT!!! HONESTY ALERT!!!! HONESTY ALERT!!!

    Please contact the Thought Police immediately.

  • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

    Why is it site’s like this can only ever cover amazing artists making waves like this when it’s negative shit. It’s not for the want of trying to get you get you to cover him (waaaaay after the straight blogs as per usual) But all of a sudden NOW he’s deemed worthy of coverage because he’s been called out by some idiot. Maybe Brockhampton should say something about being pro dwarf tossing

    • Donston

      Because ultimately, this is a gossip site. And it’s about getting clicks and causing a stir.

    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      I’m aware of what is and I’m also aware that it used t o do it better, in that it varied the mix

  • benwa

    I’m not black and I am available to date.

  • SonOfKings

    OK. Preferring to date exclusively outside your race because members of your own race remind you too much of your brothers and cousins is not a preference, it’s a neurosis. It’s like a White, straight man not wanting to date ANY White woman because every White woman looks too much like his mother and aunts? This is what we call a head case here. He needs to see a psychiatrist.

    • Donston

      If that’s actually his for-real reasoning then, yeah, he probably does need some help, as do many of us. But in actuality, he probably just thinks white guys are cute. Some of his other comments however also hint that he does have some deep-seated “issues”. But he is very young and just starting to gain some level of attention and is probably just starting to settle into and accept whatever he is.

  • AndThenTheresMax

    OK and why isn’t BLM all over this? Oh yeah, because when it comes to black-on-black it matters not so much.

    • demetreus

      All lives matter and you should be ashamed of yourself for dragging BLM into this….you are disgusting

  • barkomatic

    I think it’s wonderful that a black man stating that he doesn’t prefer to date or sleep with other black men is causing heads to explode. That’s a very good thing, because the current conversation over race in this country is so toxic — and his comments challenge those who wish to have absolute control over what someone preferences should be. As if rationalizing why someone should or should not be attracted to another person has ever worked.

    Those who criticize him would never support gay conversion therapy, yet they are pushing a similar concept. You aren’t attracted to black men because you are mentally ill, and if you simply examine your life you’ll suddenly be attracted. I’m glad that some aren’t buying that garbage.

  • Bradsman

    Amazing honesty! He should be with whosever he wants. And if he’s only 19, his tastes are going to change, or at least expand with time.

  • alfred

    “let’s delete the whole closet concept and just let kids be themselves without having to announce what/who they’re into sexually”
    I dont even know where to begin with this statement……Jeeesussss. Yep, you all heard the millennial. We should just ‘delete the concept of the closet’. Shit, homophobia solved! Labels dead! Guilt, shame, repression dont exist anymore yall. #WOKE

    • Donston

      Ultimately, I’ve just accepted that many, many inherently gay/gay-leaning/homo-dominant people, particularly men, are always gonna contend with some level of gay-shame/internalized homophobia/desire to hold on to hetero-normalcy for whatever reasons. There’s a lot of people dealing with a lot of things in their lives and in their heads. It is what it is. I’m just grateful that despite my history and “dimensions” I’m not one of those people.

    • Donston

      The state of this “sexual revolution” is kinda depressing frankly: the amount of gay-shame and internalized homophobia and obsession with retaining hetero-normalcy that many gay and gay-leaning men still exude, the persistent self-destructive behaviors of so many, the amount of violence and casual homophobia and out-right homophobia I see or hear about every day, that we still don’t have a single out dude in the nfl/nba/mlb/nhl/etc, the reality that lgbt media’s main focus is on promoting and exploiting people’s narcissism and not on self-truth, self-understanding, homophobia, internalized homophobia, trans-phobia and mental health. It’s just a mess

  • miserylovedme24

    People are allowed to date whoever the hell they want. Period. It’s not up to you or me or anyone else to say that someone should have to date a particular race, or someone transgender, or whatever else.

  • Jaxton

    Good on Steve Lacy for not subscribing to identity politics. It ‘s refreshing. I love the fact that he called himself the apolitical term “human”.

    As for his apparent sexual avoidance of black men, it’s not out of hate. He sees black men as brothers, not sexual lovers. He’s entitled to that state of mind.

    Let’s celebrate the fact that men are increasingly resisting the anti-male bisexual attitudes of women and liberals in general..

    • Donston

      Refusing to identify as anything is a political statement. No matter what someone says about themselves it’s political. And most (though not all) of these “I’m just a human being”, “I don’t believe in labels” men are gay or gay-leaning men full of shame and gay-resentment and often sexual narcissism. And that as well is political. No matter what, social politics are always involved.

      And of course, you end with your patented “Liberal women is to blame for everything” shtick that never gets moldy.

  • STS

    I agree that who we are attracted to isn’t necessarily racist, it just is what it is, for me, a black man, I have never been attracted to men who remind me of either my dad or my siblings, that means that sexually speaking some black guys are a turn off just because they kind of look like my dad or my siblings, but I’ve also found that ANY man who reminds me of my dad or siblings is a sexual turnoff, this means that not only their skin color, but also their personality and mannerisms, there are men of all colors who are not sexually interesting to me because something about them reminds me of either my dad or my siblings.

    To exclude an entire group of guys just because of their skin color – that’s strange to me, and it says that this guy (and people with similar preferences) think that all black guys have the exact same personalities, desires, instincts, motives, likes, dislikes, backgrounds and sexual styles. For him and those like him it seems that skin color trumps everything else about a potential sexual partner.

    Here is a simple truth: That skin color alone is so important that nothing else about a person matters is how a racist sees skin color.

    • dash_board1

      Spot on comment.

      Also, this guy isn’t even gay, he’s bi. Why is all the talk about the race of the men he dates, did anyone ask him if he has the same policy on dating black women?

    • demetreus

      #truth . I am going to copy and paste what you wrote in my comments as a reminder to those who are less fortunate.

  • dean089

    But how does he feel about ‘fats,’ ‘fems,’ Asians, etc.? Or does ‘no black guys’ mean anything else goes? Hey, as long as we’re going to have all these lists and labels we might as well stick to them.

  • Chris

    Leave the kid alone, for heavens sakes. He’s just 19. Nowadays, it’s not enough to come out. You have to come out in a way that adheres to everyone else’s political views. SMH

  • Jack Meoff

    I hear what people are saying in the posts above and I don’t discount these points of view but I can’t help but think that if it were a white person saying they wouldn’t date a person of colour the responses would be a lot less forgiving.

    • whatsaywhat

      But that would not be equivalent. The equivalent would be a white person saying they wouldn’t date other white people. You know, like the Kardashians. Nobody would care, nor should they.

  • Jaxton

    Note how the identity-obsessed glbt community has imposed the bisexual label on this guy. When you identify as a label or faux acronym, it’s kind of hard to shake off this obsession as a community.

    • dash_board1

      @Jaxton, it’s so strange, I have never once heard a straight person bemoan the fact that they have to ‘label’ themselves as straight. Granted, that’s the default, so they almost never even have to express it. It’s always gay/bi people who will twist themselves in knots trying to avoid ‘labeling’ themselves as gay/bi. The mantra of ‘No Labels!’ has become deafening of late, and to that I have 3 questions:

      1 – Do these people not realise that ‘No Labels’ is itself a label?

      2 – Do they also eschew all other labeling like age, race, sex, nationality, religion, etc.? If no, they why not?

      3 – They don’t consider themselves to be gay, so why do they constantly frequent gay spaces and websites? And then criticise gay people for identifying as such. Wouldn’t it make more sense to develop your own ‘No Labels’ community?

  • Jaxton

    Gay is an invention of modern identity politics. Male homisexual desire has existed for millions of years. Male homosexual desire trumps the gay identity anytime.

    The label “gay” is being used by liberals to isolate male homosexual desire from the rest of society. Gay represents homophobic segregation.

    • dash_board1

      So you think that if we didn’t call ourselves ‘gay’ that homosexuality would be readily accepted? Uh, it doesn’t matter what we call ourselves, the people who hate us will continue to do so because they think we are an abomination against god and nature. Do you really think that someone who hates homosexuality gives a shit what we call ourselves? You think there was some utopia for homosexuals before the the word ‘gay’ was applied to it? Here’s a hint: it was not.

    • Donston

      Brian/Jaxton/etc has made his opinion very clear at this this point: He is against men declaring that they only want to be with a man. He’s against men declaring that they only have sexual attraction to and passion for men. He’s against men declaring that most of their orientation is homo or homo-leaning. He sees being honest about these things as “giving power to women”. Everything else he’s cool with, including homophobia and internalized homophobia.

      My Brian theory: a very long his girlfriend/wife found out he was a ‘mo and dumped him. He didn’t want to expend enough energy to fin another girls and he developed too much self-hate to ever try to be with a man. And he’s been wrapped up in bitterness, self-hate and misogyny ever since.

  • Notright

    He can date whomever he wants for whatever reason he wants. Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with all the drama and bad attitudes that some people may have? I’m black and I used to want to date a black man so bad but omg the attitudes were just too much for me. Then they can’t figure out why no one wants to date them?

    I’m not saying all are like that and I understand the impact of racism and things like that but if you want to be loved you have to make yourself desirable and sorry but jumping down someone’s throat at the slightest irritation isn’t desirable…

    • demetreus

      Something tells me that from your comment, you are one of those undateable black guys you are describing. Your thought process needs an adjustment.

  • StupidBoy

    He’s a cute boy, but just that– a boy. His tastes will change. I remember being shocked when I was at my first big mall when I was 16 or 17 and was only attracted to one, very specific type of guy. I thought then, “what is wrong with me? why don’t I find all these other guys attractive?” I just didn’t. Now, 30 years later, there are one or two types of guys that would actually “make it move” if I saw them in public, but I can honestly say I find a much broader range of men attractive, and look at attractive traits inside them instead of just eye candy. All older gay men know that the cutest guy in the world can look like Oscar the Grouch when you find out his head is filled with garbage.

    “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”
    -Muhammad Ali

  • demetreus

    And what did he say aboit black women?

  • Shadeaux

    He’ll get over it. As time goes by, the less race becomes an issue.

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