Two Florida men are awaiting trial after having unprotected sex with a 16-year-old and not disclosing their HIV-positive status.
On December 12, Pembroke Pines residents Darrell Allen Evans, 40, and Huy Kien Trinh, 32, met an unnamed teen on Grindr and invited him over for an assignation.
After some hot-tubbing and poppers, the three had unprotected sex. Evans and Trinh told the teen they were HIV-negative.
The two men have been charged with several counts of sexual assault of a minor, and not disclosing their HIV status (a crime in Florida). The Sun Sentinel reports that authorities had considered filing attempted-murder charges.
“Heavens knows how many victims we may have out there,” Assistant State Attorney Eric Linder said during the hearing, remarking that after the men waived their Miranda rights, they told police that they “regularly meet other males and engage in unprotected sex without notifying them that they are HIV-positive.”
At a January 11 hearing, Judge Ian Richards set Evans’ bond at $410,000 and Trinh’s at $420,000, and prohibited both men from using the Internet, associating with minors or having sex with anyone, period. (Is that even legal?)
“I do consider you a threat to the community,” Richards said, stopping short of charging each man with attempted murder and instead fashioning their bond to reflect their failure to disclose the potentially fatal virus.
As neither could post bail, they’re currently in jail until their court date.
In the past four years, more than 150 Americans have been arrested for exposing sexual partners to HIV. Because of the nature of some statutes, though, even those who disclosed their status—or who didn’t, but used condoms and didn’t transmit the virus—can be convicted in some states.
It’s unclear what prompted the youth to go the police, and whether or not he contracted the virus from Evans or Trinh.
QJ201
scumbags deserve what they get…barebacking at 16yr old?
do NOT conflate these two pigs with poz people who are persecuted for non-disclosure even though they had SAFE sex
2eo
@QJ201: Indeed, the law needs to be harmonised, these people have rightfully got their sentence but the inequity of some of the laws around it are sending people who informed and have done nothing wrong to prison.
A nationwide clarification on this issue is most necessary.
However the use of the inequity should not be allowed to be used as a sledgehammer against any kind of legal repercussion, that would be the most damaging to society and people than keeping the status quo as it is so it must be off the table completely.
DustinStarrak
castration anyone?
Cagnazzo82
16 year-old barebacking with a 40+ and 30+ year old? I wonder if his parents even knew he was gay.
Not only will this come as a shock, but it’s a disaster as well.
Talk about a hard life lesson.
Abaca
I don’t think the blonde has to disclose his status. Anyone with semi-decent vision can see it from a mile away. Except the 16 yr. old, I guess.
Jackhoffsky
I have an ex. His name is John Timothy Moore of Little Rock Arkansas. He never got tested because “he never felt sick.” He didn’t use condoms because he was “allergic.” He would regularly hook up and top ‘chicken boys’ and many times give them so many drugs they would be unconscious. First three-way we had where this happened we argued for a week.
He lied… flat out lied to one kid in Tampa. The guy asked if he used a condom while fucking him (while he was unconscious) and my ex told him “yes.” Later I was told it didn’t matter because he thought the kid already had HIV.
People with this mentality exist… and they are a danger to themselves and others. People always bitch about me being so open about drugs and sex, but frankly… there is a severe lack of sociological and civic education in the gay world and EVERYTHING should be brought into conversation… drugs, disease, everything.
And the letters “ddf”… are a joke.
Flyiboy
@Abaca:
How can do assume that the 40 yr old man is HIV? By the way he looks?
That’s rubbish .. He could be one drugs or even have some type of cancer.
I can’t understand or even fathom how somebody can assume by the way a person Looks that they have HIV or not
Abaca
Jackoffsky, Thank you for that. There are really sick people out there and that’s why these laws exist. I hope these two get the electric chair. As for your ex, did he ever get what was coming to him?
Abaca
@Flyboy, Are we looking at the same picture? He’s not the picture of “health”. And if its not HIV then it cancer, meth or all three. I live in Boystown and don’t think I’m an HIV psychic, but there is definately a “look” and tale tell signs like facial lypoatrophy. Lets not start a flame war but when I saw the blonde guys pic, my first thought was poz.
viveutvivas
@Jackhoffsky, and you stood by (and participated) and let that happen? You are as culpable as the ex you are accusing.
gppm1103
@viveutvivas: No, he isn’t. A mistake yes, but he sure learned from it. The guy he is talking about and the ones in the article don’t care. A little judgmental aren’t you?
gppm1103
@Abaca: He doesn’t look sick either, probably because HE’S NOT!
Positive doesn’t mean AIDS. Get educated damn it – it’s 2013.
viveutvivas
@gppm1103, being sorry after the fact is not a legitimate legal defense. In a court, Jackhoffsky would get little sympathy, which is probably why he is making these accusations here instead of at his nearest police station.
synnerman
The hell? He’s 16! Those sociopaths should have a lead lined book thrown at them.
viveutvivas
Legally speaking, it is better to avoid getting tested for HIV.
mcdfishfilla
@gppm1103:
He does look sick. What do you mean he’s not sick. He has a virus which forms AIDS. If he wasn’t sick with hiv then attempted murder charges wouldn’t be brought about in this case. Its people like you who make hiv seem less deadly because you rationalize its affects and analyze it as nothing more than a cold that can be contained with medication. Grow Up and educate yourself.
FitChicago
While these two guys are scumbags and awful looking human beings, it is hard to hold them solely accountable for their deplorable actions; it is implied in the Sun Sentinel article that there was a discussion regarding condom use or having bareback sex and the 16-year old consented to bareback sex.
You are a moron of herculean proportions if you consent to raw sex with someone you just met on a hook-up site/app because they said they are HIV negative and free of STDs. I mean seriously, you are an ignorant dummy if you think no one on the Internet would lie about such things.
There is another aspect of this story that has not been touched on: What kind of liability does Grindr have given their software failed to validate the age of the 16 year old. Noting that in Florida the age of consent is 18 and in Florida engaging with sexual activity with anyone under 18 is felony of the second degree punishable by imprisonment not exceeding 15 years.
When using an app such as Grindr the user has an expectation that other users are 18 years or older. Grindr’s failure to verify that all users are 18 or older is something that should be troubling to all of us.
Papi Balenciaga
My question is why would GROWN ass men want to have sex with 16 year olds? Nasty B!tches.
Rock Star
These creeps are what give gays a bad name. I have a close friend who got HIV from someone when he was just turned 18 by an a hole that did not disclose his status. These guys made a decision to not tell this poor boy and now they must pay the price. Unfortunately this 16 years old boy if he develops HIV will have to pay a price the rest of his life, even when these scumbags get out of jail.
PLEASE tell our younger gay friends over and over and over to use protection. The 16 year old boy should have known better, but probably because of the social stigma about being gay and out, he went against his instincts and better judgement. Very sad.
lepontneuf
Why would a negative person let anyone fuck them without a condom ever? A sixteen year old with the wherewithal to arrange encounters on Grindr certainly has the wherewithal to use a condom when getting fucked. I certainly did when I was sixteen.
lepontneuf
There are also some very ignorant people posting ignorant things about HIV, as well as highly stigmatising@mcdfishfilla: well it actually can be contained with medication…
Abaca
@gppm, Ummmm… He’s not sick? I think he’s beyond sick, he’s fucking disgusting for what he and his equally sick partner did to that poor kid. HIV doesn’t mean AIDS, but lets not treat it like a hangnail. It’s a life ruiner for some who get it. Especially a 16 yr. old kid.
Nudesurfer
@fitchicago
Some good points you brought up. However you forget some critical points. Unless this kid was having a lot of sex before he was probably a bit unsavvy with the way the world works or poorly informed about STD transmission. This definitely leads the 16 year old to make naive decisions when it comes to sex. We don’t know how much if this was a factor here.
I am willing to admit that I bring up these ideas because that’s what happened to me. I was 21 (I’m 24 now). I grew up in a conservative (religious) household where nobody has or will actually talk about sex or STDs. I can honestly say that I was extremely naive as I pursued sexual encounters. One time though I met with a guy for a hookup. I normally screen people better but in this case I didn’t. He said he’s was clean of all STDs as was I. As far as what we did it was only oral and he came in my mouth. (I was saving anal for someone special, like bf special so I hadn’t participated in that before.) but about 2 months later after my normal blood donation to UBS I was pulled aside and told that I had HIV. I didn’t believe them or understand how I could get it as I thought it could only be transmitted anally (as far as sex is concerned). Several more blood tests later at a planned parenthood it was confirmed.
Stories like this aren’t surprising to me. There are sluts out there so desperate to get off they don’t care who they hurt. Here in Az there are no laws that would allow me to prosecute. The thing is, there’s no problem with someone like me with HIV having sex. The difference though between doing it right and wrong is that I always tell anyone sexually interested in me upfront about my status and I explicitly ask that we are safe and use a condom. Unfortunately despite this, 95% of the gay pop in my city won’t have anything to do with me. That’s the unfortunate problem with how many communities are setup. There’s not enough education about safe sex and there’s few incentives to actually be honest about your status. I feel that laws should be enacted but only in such a way that they protect HiV people. Someone who informs their sex partner about his status and the partner knowingly consents to have sex should be protected from criminal laws. The laws have to be targeted at people who don’t notify and who don’t practice safe sex.
Until we put better measures in place, it’s far better for someone to lie about their status in many communities. It’s just sickening talking to HIV neg guys who upon hearing my status want to be “gifted.” It’s upsetting to see some guys who participate in non safe sex with HIV + partners. Then these same people (who never get tested) run off to a bath house only to gleam in joy as they top 3 guys bareback. Many people live in this ignorance where they think it’s ok to bareback with guys who claim their HIV negative. Yet they have a significantly harder chance to contract HIV from me than these “ddf” guys. I only hope things get better across the board in the future.
gaymaniac
Very good. I hope they stay and rot in jail for a long, long time. 16yr old being drugged and barebacked and potentially infected by those s****-I don’t have words for this!
Merv
Let me guess, Florida relies on abstinence-only sex education to keep their kids safe. These two a-holes deserve to rot in prison, but so do the Republicans who insist on sending our kids out into the world unarmed with knowledge on how to protect themselves.
Kieran
These low-life creeps are no better than some deranged maniac who would stab unsuspecting people on the street with an HIV infected needle.
Pete
sounds like the case of the notorious ‘Dr. Lube’ in Atlanta a few years back.
doug105
@Merv: Florida relies on abstinence-only sex education to keep their kids safe. Of course they do the rethug’s have controlled this state for years.
Stache1
@Abaca. @viveutvivas: The kid accused them of a sexual crime. I think testing is standard and something you can’t avoid.
xanderbear
Did they even know the kid was only 16? I assume if someone is on Grindr they would have to agree they are of legal age to be legally allowed on the app. Now them saying they were negative when they actually aren’t is debatable, their word against his. Guys with holding their status while despicable (I hate that in a serious way) is getting to be common these days. My first boyfriend taught me right away, if someone wants to fuck you without a rubber assume they have hiv.
Stache1
@Nudesurfer: “Unfortunately despite this, 95% of the gay pop in my city won’t have anything to do with me”. That is so right. HIV is a hard on killer for most. Most don’t want to talk about it and especially have anything to do with someone that has it. All you have to do is read the posts here to get the outright hatred, ignorance, and fear for those that have it. No wonder people want to hide it.
The irony is that I agree with your statement of you being a far safer bet with you then some random hookup that says their DDF on their profiles and depends on others for honesty. 60% of people that are HIV positive don’t know their positive and are probably highly contagious.
Cam
@FitChicago: said…
“it is implied in the Sun Sentinel article that there was a discussion regarding condom use or having bareback sex and the 16-year old consented to bareback sex.”
_______________________
A 16 year old can’t consent legally to sex with somebody that much older much less bareback or not. So there is no mitigation for that in this case.
Stache1
@xanderbear: I agree. There’s allot to this we still don’t know. I’m not saying it’s right to fuck a 16 yo kid but if they didn’t know……This could be a “don’t ask..don’t tell” situation. They just assume he is because he puts his ass in the air and says fuck me.
DarthKitsune
what, in the nine circles of hell, is a 16 yr old doing on grindr? Where does personal responsibility come into play here? Yes, these gentlemen deserve jail time, but let’s not make it out as if they forced the youth in question to have sex at all. They all deserve what they get.
EvonCook
@gppm1103: Thanks, a lot of the pontificating people on here are really jut plain dumb or as bigoted at those that hate them!
EvonCook
@Merv: Merv, You are so right!
EvonCook
@FitChicago: I do not think Grindr can or should be held responsible if someone wants to lie about their profile. Should they also verify test status? We need to teach and take responsibility not blame others or try to sue, sue, sue.
EvonCook
@Nudesurfer: Wow, you comment was the best and most thoughtful on here!
MickeyP.
WTF? This is terrible. I hate stories like this. THIS shit is the very ammunition that bigots and homophobes use against the LGBTI community.These guys are a disgrace to all of us,not to mention that they just infected a kid. Remember back when you were 16. Not much common sense to be had.But these fools are adults and there is NO excuse for this!I hope they throw the book at them.I agree that the 16 yo shouldn’t have been on any adult site. But given the fact that he was,it’s up to the ADULTS on these sites to chase this kid away. I know that there are some sick people out there. I get the reality of life. It’s just so horrible what some people do to others. I,too,think these assholes should get charged with attempted murder. They totally ruined this kids life.
Aries3dc
Grindr is an app for adult men. In fact, the app won’t let you join unless you are 18 OR unless you lie about your age. This 16-year-old kid made a foolish decision and put himself in a position to be hurt. Let’s have a debate about that!
Stache1
@Aries3dc: Unfortunately, we have to hear from the “pearl clutcher” brigade first.
viveutvivas
I have to chuckle at the pitchfork mob.
Of course, everybody know that 16 year olds NEVER lie about their age. And who knows what happened or didn’t happen during the encounter. Of course let’s trust the teenager, because we all know that teenagers NEVER lie.
Sebizzar
Great, more imbeciles to scar our community -_-‘ Wouldn’t be surprised if the boy told police cause they were planning on doing even worse things to him. I just will never be able to grasp the mentality they have. I hope the boy doesn’t have HIV and learned his lesson. It’s obviously too late for those scumbags.
Another thing I have been dying to ask… why do so many disturbing news stories originate from Florida? 😐 So much for wanting to go to Disney World xP
EvonCook
Finally, I wonder how many of the outraged “virgins” and “negatives” on here are in fact themselves positive or even understand that one can be negative this morning and after a sexual encounter of any kind where fluids are exchanged you can quickly become positive! A certificate or claim or test does not guarantee your status or safety. There are also false negatives and false positives. Positives are easily checked, negatives are rarely. The only intelligent, safe way is condom use for all. Oral is certainly less likely a transmission source, but it has been possible, especially if you have any sores, abrasions, cuts, or gum rawness in your mouth. And for those honestly dense enough not to think a 16 year old, even a twelve year old, could be out seeking sex, they are part of the problem that does not educate youth for self protection. We should assume sex is part of the activities of living human beings (after all a 9 year old gave birth last month!), and teach the facts and the methods of protection as essential parts of the natural experience. Stop the ignorance, the willful blindness, the unnecessary moralizing and the stupid condemnations. Nor is it so simple as I have heard people say, to have poz individuals only have sex with other poz as the virus is not the exact same one from one infected person to the next and multiple infections are considerably deadlier. I also think some straightforward info about H-IV and AIDS daily ramifications on living one’s life would stop some of the painfully mental cases looking for “the gift” of lifelong health complications and vulnerability. This is exactly why marriage, adoption, military service and equality may be lofty goals to some, but education, care and survival for our community are the greater essentials.
[email protected]
@Nudesurfer:
Don’t give up hope!
I met my partner at church /gym…we went together with mutual friends to a HIV + (Project Open Hand) benefit…I took him back to my place, told him I was HIV.
He stayed the night, never left.
Last week, celebrated our 21st anniversary…(ten years age difference too!)
FitChicago
@Nudesurfer:
I thank you for sharing your story, I admire your honesty and openness. I am sorry to hear that some awful human being was dishonest with you and because of his lie, your life was impacted. Based on your experience, it sounds like you did everything right and unfortunately you became part of the 1-3% (studies vary) who contract HIV through oral sex. Based on your openness and honesty, I think that all of us who read your comment will be more cautious about oral sex.
I would disagree with you about 16-year old’s in 2013 being naive about HIV and STDs. I began my sexual exploration in my early teens and recall a friend and I messing around in my parent’s basement and while neither of us ejaculated I was worried that I could get AIDS. So as a scared 13 year old I went online that night and learned about HIV/AIDS (this was in the 90’s the days of AOL dial-up). Even though I went to Catholic school which offered no real sex-ed, it wasn’t hard to find info way back then.
I am sorry that you face discrimination/rejection from guys solely based on your status. After college I met someone randomly on the streets of San Francisco, we went and got a drink and clicked incredibly well– one of those amazing situations where you feel like you’ve known each other for years. He revealed to me that he is HIV positive and I didn’t let that deter me from continuing to get to know him. Long story short, we began dating, we fell in love and the whole time had a wonderful sex life (he made sure that we always would take the necessary precautions to avoid putting me at risk). While we eventually broke up, he remains one of my dearest friends and taught me to love someone for who they are, not the connotations of any medical issue he might have (I will forever be grateful to him for helping to open up my closed minded self to such things).
FitChicago
@Stache1:
I think that in our community today there is a huge problem: guys not getting tested. Interestingly enough while we see safe sex public service ads all over but it is rare to see targeted messaging pushing everyone to get regular HIV tests.
In my opinion, if there was a huge push for guys to get tested which resulted in a lot more guys getting tested I believe we would see a dramatic increase in the statistics of men who have tested positive for HIV.
Due to a scare years ago, I get tested regularly and find myself bringing a friend who has never been tested or hasn’t been tested in years; I’d encourage everyone to do the same. I think in today’s world a large percentage of guys can honestly believe they are HIV- based on a test they took years ago but haven’t been tested since. There is another large group of guys who assume they are negative because they haven’t been sick but haven’t been tested. So when they are using Grindr or a hook-up site/app, in their mind they probably think they are being honest when it comes to status. While I am HIV negative, I tend to leave the HIV status blank because 99% of the time it forces a discussion about HIV status.
FitChicago
@EvonCook:
While I believe that legally the issue of an app or website’s liability for undue harm caused to a user will evolve over time; you are correct.
From the New York Times 18 December 2010:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/us/19date.html?_r=0
Dating sites have no incentive to police their members. The Communications Decency Act absolves Internet service providers of liability because the sites are not considered the publishers of the information on their pages — their members are. The reasoning is that sites would not be able to operate if they were responsible for everything posted by their users. Lawyers have tried to get around this law, but “they usually fail,” said Brian Carver, an assistant professor at the School of Information at the University of California, Berkeley. “Every start-up depends on this protection.”
jim2008
EVERYONE is responsible for their OWN HIV status. However, I think we all agree that a 16-year old shouldn’t be on a hook-up site and that men shouldn’t be picking up teenagers regardless of sex or sexual orientation.
You CAN’T legislate sexual behavior or any other force of nature. You CAN look after your own health and wellbeing.
medic271
YES IT IS DISGUSTING WHAT THESE TWO DID, MY QUESTION IS WHY IS A 16 YO ON GRINDER IN THE FIRST PLACE. I THOUGHT YOE HAD TO AT LEAST BE 18 TO BE ON A SEX SITE. I’M NOT SAYING HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED, HOW EVER HE SHOULD HAVE INSISTED ON USING PROTECTION. WITH THAT SAID THE TWO THAT KNOW THEY WHERE HIV POSTIVE SHOULD HAVE USED PROTECTION AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN SMARTER WHO THE HOOKED UP WITH.
FitChicago
The more I think about this situation I find myself unable to answer a huge question and hoping you guys can help:
What is the motivation of the 16 year old for coming forward and pressing charges?
While I initially thought that the 16 year old tested positive, a little research allowed me to mostly disprove that; According to the Sun Sentinel:
* December 12: The sex occurred.
* Sometime Between December 13-17: The 16 year old was unable to identify the two scumbags in a photo line up.
* December 17: The 16 year old participated in controlled text messages and a phone call with the worthless human beings.
* January 11: The ugliest people in Florida make their first-appearance before a judge. This was a bail hearing which means that the arrest occurred circa 48 hours before.
Turning to research, today’s HIV tests will pick up 95% of infections at 28 days after exposure. A confirmatory test three months after the exposure is done because 5% of people take this long to show a positive result.
Therefore, it would be impossible for the 16 year old to test positive for HIV within the 72 hours after the sexual encounter and it is improbable that a positive test would occur and be confirmed prior to the January 11 court appearance.
So…. What drove the 16 year old to the police???
Jackhoffsky
To all the haters out there responding to my post either on here or in your heads please let me say one thing:
YOU’RE RIGHT.
There is no defense (although it is appreciated @gppm1103), and my personal actions are those of what the Catholics call “a sin of omission.” It is something I’ve had to live with… weighty even as an staunch atheist (my ex… FIRM believer in God, go figure). I knew I was negative. I would get tested from my doctor. By definition of half of our sex, it was assumed he was negative as well.
The example (and it was just one example) that I gave describes a small percentage of an extremely toxic and controlling relationship using insecurities as puppet strings. Thankfully I escaped before I was submitted to any further disregard for humanity. The MENTALITY and the condescending arrogance took a few examples before I saw several patterns emerge. I will forever be sorry for that.
I am a stronger person now. If you are the type to judge, feel free to do so. Since that time I have been trying to put more positive and healthier energies into the world, working with HIV awareness, and focusing on the psychology of people like this so as to find it, label it, and warn others… just like I did here.
It is, by no means an atonement. It just… needs to be done. It’s a problem that is bigger than my and my bystanding stupidity.
Kenny1948
@FitChicago: He didn’t have to test positive for them to be arrested here in Florida. The law states that it is a felony ( attempted murder ) to expose someone to HIV without their knowledge. Lovers have turned their partners in for exposing them. No positve test is needed!
Kenny1948
@Kenny1948: The really bad thing about this law is, there is no way to verify the fact. There is nothing in place to stop someone from saying that they had sex with someone, who did not reveal their positive status. It’s on a he said he said basis. It originated with a woman who accused here husband of infecting her, by having unprotected gay sex. People have used it, just to get even with someone they did not like.
Kenny1948
@Kenny1948: I should have added that I know this from my personal experience. Someone once accused me of infecting them. When I tested negative, their lie was exposed.
viveutvivas
@kenny, that is why it is better never to get tested, legally speaking.
viveutvivas
@fitchicago, you raise good questions. Obviously the teenager could not have accused them of exposing him to HIV unless he knew they were positive, which rather undermines the claim that they didn’t inform him.
Derek Williams
In most of Europe, the UK, Ireland, New Zealand and Australia, the legal age of consent is 16, whereas in most US states it is 18, therefore in America, this crime is technically aggravated as ‘Carnal Knowledge’.
A perfectly horrible thing to do to knowingly and covertly infect someone of any age, but an especially shocking act to load up a kid just 16 with a life changing and as yet, incurable virus.
viveutvivas
@jackhoffsky, the situations you describe would make you an accessory to rape if true. If you were really sorry, you would be reporting this to the police rather than making unsubstantiated slanderous allegations involving your ex by name on the internet.
Will L
@FitChicago: Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Unless he basically stalked them afterward, there’s no way he could have found out on his own that they were positive after-the-fact. And if he’s that smart as a 16-year-old, why didn’t he do this research beforehand. And what’s a 16-year-old doing on Grindr? He should be grounded. Unless he’s a street hustler in which case he’s probably been exposed before.
Too much of this doesn’t make sense.
If true, I hate it when guys do this and trick innocent people.
ecllips
@Merv: Yeah, those dang Democrats, haha I’m just joking. However, your statment is just about republicans while it should also be about Democrats(and basically any other political party for that matter). Plenty of Democrats believe in teaching abstinence as sex education just like the Republicans you mentioned.
My Father is a Republican and my Mother a Democrate. My Mother(Democrate) believed in teaching abstinence while my father just told us to use a condom if we ever thought about finally having sex.
I didn’t have sex until I was 20 years old, of course I didn’t know I was gay until I was 18, and I finally found someone who was special enough to have sex(safe sex) with. Most of the friends I made at college couldn’t believe a guy like me was still a virgin at that point. Sure, I have had alot of dates and makeout sessions but just because I am on a date doesn’t mean I am going to sleep with you, especially on the first date!!!! I mean C’mon, really??!!!
Most of these issues concerning HIV and sexually transmitted diseases could be avoided if people would control themselves and stop hooking up with random strangers they meet at a bar or on a phone App. That whole instant gratification thing rules most peoples lives at this point in time. If people waited to have sex with someone until they actually knew the person and could trust them we wouldn’t have this issue.
Now I am not saying that you need to be legally married to someone to have sex or anything. Just wait until you have had a couple dates or ten….before you jump into bed with someone. Sure, this has made more than a few guys(And co-workers) who hit on me and ask me to go home with them while I am out with friends quite mad that I won’t “Put Out”. That just means that they are not the kind of guy I want to be with if they get angry just because I refuse to sleep with them after just meeting them.
Currently I am 24 years old and have only had sex with two people. I am very satisfied with my low number. While on the other hand one of my friends is very happy with his number that reaches the triple digits, haha.
Daniel-Reader
Young people need to be careful. Some so-called “gay guys” aren’t really gay. They are pedophiles who identify as straight in their adult relationships but target children of either gender to infect them. There was one guy who would start by wearing a condom and then slip it off during sex just to infect his victims who were too inexperienced and naive to realize it until the police showed up at his house. So protect yourself. Red flags should go up whenever someone old enough to be your dad wants to hook up with you and you are under 25 years old.
Jackhoffsky
@viveutvivas: You are correct. However, the statute of limitations for each incident in Florida is 4 years. And this occurred a long long time ago.
Now, it takes a long time (and therapy) to get ride of the Stockholmesque justifications for being a bystander. Then it take additional time to figure out how I got into the situation in the first place. And in that time I became positive myself. And going through that while maintaining a decent, good energy is hard, but not impossible.
Point is… people like this exist in gradient degrees. The younger the person is having sex, the more they should be made aware.
Jackhoffsky
Let me try this a different way:
KIDS (and to me anyone under 30 is a “kid”), This is what’s going on in the minds of these scumbags. And trust me, I used to date someone like them.
They think if you are going over for ‘hot tub and poppers’, it’s basically going to be a ‘party and play’ scenario. They also think that you know what you’re getting yourself into… making you the burden of responsibility.
If you ask about getting tested, they will tell you the last time they got tested. They may (1) skip past what the result was or (2) lie to you.
If you don’t bring up the subject of disease, they will assume you’re positive and “anything goes”.
If you are on the “dl”, they find this a conquest. They will fuck you harder… and not use a condom, it’s all about the ego.
Anytime anyone tries to hook up with someone twice your age, it’s about the ego.
No older person is on hook-up sites for chat. Unless they are unemployed and living with their mother, we don’t have time to chat. If you think i’m lying, invite them out for a sandwich and listen to how many times they bring up fucking. Please feel free to prove me wrong.
Everything presented in profiles is nothing but marketing and advertising. And you are the target audience.
Lying to get laid gets easier with each lay. By the time they get to you, it’s first nature.
Every sexually active person will eventually have sex with someone with HIV. Make your peace with it. Use protection. Always.
There are many good people out there. Good people will respect your boundaries.
If you’re a teenager and gay, talk to your doctor. he will tell you how best to handle your fluctuating hormones.
Life is awesome. Put down the phone and enjoy it.
SjHopkins
These two deserve EVERYTHING they get, and then some more! There is absolutely NO EXCUSE what so ever for their actions regarding either situation in this matter. Not disclosing one’s status is NOT ACCEPTABLE, whether the sex partner is a minor or not. And…sex with a minor, REALLY?? Straight, Gay, Bi, Tans, I don’t care, it is NOT acceptable behavior! It is scumbags like these two that give the GLBT community, regardless of HIV status, a bad image in the eye of the general public. Every time a sleazebag like this does something like this, it sets back ALL of the good work done by GLBT communities and groups all across the country. Lock them up and throw away the damn key!!
SjHopkins
@DustinStarrak: I would agree with that, and more. I don’t think the people of Florida should have to support these two, to any degree, for the rest of their lives, but they will get stuck doing just that.
Stache1
@Daniel-Reader: Do you have any links to prove your accusations or are you just talking out of your ass? The only thing I agree with is this..” Some so-called “gay guys” aren’t really gay. They are pedophiles”. That and you should be careful with someone you don’t know.
Merv
@Daniel-Reader: I’ve heard some absurd stretching of the definition of pedophile, but yours takes the cake. If you’re attracted to a 25 year old, you’re now a pedophile. Okey-dokey!
Daniel-Reader
Merv: you said it – I didn’t. I simply said it is a red flag to young people when old people – old enough to be their dad – target them for hook-ups.
Stache: I warned young people against people old enough to be their dad trying to hook up with them. There are plenty of emotionally unstable older people who aren’t able to handle relationships with people their own age. Those types are best avoided because they are mental if you are looking out for the best interest of the young people, rather than the pervy egos of older people who can’t handle relationships with people near their own age – gay, bi, or straight.
ridgelineranger
I’m not saying any of what happened was right, but even as a 14 year old I seduced the 30 something neighbor next door. I ONLY would hook up with men that were 15-20 years older than myself. And now, in my mid 50’s and being HIV POZ, I am often hit on by neg men that want me to infect them. NO, I DO NOT connect with such men. But there are young men out there that chase older men and the HIV bug…..Maybe this young man was doing just that and went to the cops to build a case for a law suit.
uplate3766
I of course have not read all the comments, but the ones I have read have made some good points, some not so good. But my thing is why is everyone attacking these two and not holding the 16 year old accountable for his actions?? He might have and very well probably did lie about his age. He shouldn’t have downloaded the app. He should not have had unprotected sex, regardless of the fact they lied to him about their status. He has take responsibility for his actions. He got in his car and went to their place and allowed the sexual escapade to occur…where is his culpability in this for his own actions.
Another question I’d like to know is how did he come to learn their status??
Merv
@Daniel-Reader: Emotions, stability, and relationships are irrelevant when you’re talking about hook ups. Hook ups are about casual sex. If I were to have a hook up, which I never have in my life, attractiveness and not emotional compatibility would be the primary criterion. Seeking a partner for a long-term relationship is something totally different.
Merv
@uplate3766: I think you’re right that the 16 year old isn’t totally innocent, but it’s hard to get past the intentional infection aspect. As far as his age, it doesn’t concern me at all. He’s obviously no babe in the woods.
EvonCook
@ecllips: Sorry ecllips, I completely disagree. We do not have to be good little Victorians or monogamous faux-heteros to enjoy and engage in sex. Next you’ll b preaching abstinence.
Faggot
@Nudesurfer: 95% of your city won’t have sex with you after you disclose your sero-status?! Judging by the insensitive, ill-informed, stigmatizing, comments and the blatant stereotyping of those living with HIV in the replies to this article HERE, I am surprised it isn’t more. The HIV bashing in the gay community echoes the same bashing that happens to homosexuals by the ultra-conservative, “religulous” right. People actually do not know what the majority of people who have HIV look like because very few disclose, or are asked to disclose. My reference, as with most others, are the frightening visions portrayed of HIV/AIDS in Angels in America and Philadelphia. People must be assuming that they ARE having sex with HIV+ men most of the time because they are wearing condoms.
EvonCook
@Daniel-Reader: So, aren’t you the perceptive one and very, very age-discriminatory too. This is just how silly, personal and insidious biases get us off the subject and theme of safe sex, not “young” sex or intergenerational or whatever you are twisting it into — next interracial sex, maybe that could seem more dangerous?? And, foolish teenagers are infecting each other probably at a higher rate than all these evil predators you are spooked about. Not many here have pointed out that this kid may have been with hundreds of guys through grindr. And maybe he likes older guys. If he is not positive, and positive with a virus that can be traced to that of his partners, then the issue here is all BS and the law is another one of those ill-conceived, “punish the wicked gays” kind of Catch-22s. No matter, it still is a “he said… they said” event which will be impossible to prove and so the bias, as usual, will be against the gay men.
EvonCook
@Jackhoffsky: Sounds like you got quite a scenario worked out, too bad it is all in your imagination. This should not be an excuse to spew or invent hatred and condemnations when we, and you, don’t know many of the essential facts. Trashy, lying kid hooks up, makes claims, is not infected, bla, bla, bla –but two men are stuck in jail for having sex with someone who lied about his age. Hey, this does not sound like a reasonable case for all the hate and condemnation being spewed by many here on the basis of essentially rumor and some pretty sick personal biases. Guys, look in the mirror and think this through.
gppm1103
@mcdfishfilla: No, he looks slender and maybe in his ’50’s. This is just a picture…we can’t tell.
HIV positive and AIDS are two different things. Yes, you can develop AIDS, but what if they just stay positive?
You need to get your facts straight.
The bigger issue here is the kid was 16. I don’t have too much sympathy for him. At 16, he knew what he was doing…but those two guys knew if they got caught they would go to jail.
Tom72
@Jackhoffsky: “He would regularly hook up and top ‘chicken boys’ and many times give them so many drugs they would be unconscious.”
How the hell did he get away with drugging guys and having sex with them? That’s called rape.
Jackhoffsky
@EvonCook: Thanks for reminding me…
ALSO KIDS:
Guys will regularly try to minimize dangerous predatory behavior. If you feel uncomfortable and their energy is strong in condescension or minimizes who you are as a human being, RUN.
It is perfectly fine to play power roles in the bedroom, but in real life you are a human being before you are a gay male.
gppm1103
JACKHOFFSKY and EVAN COOK…..
Thanks for voices of reason. This is a subject that touches just about everybody.
After losing 20+ friends in San francisco from 1987 to 1992….we need to be educated on what HIV is today.
There is no room for hysterics or fear.
Greg
viveutvivas
There is a very ugly undercurrent of ageism on here. What exactly is wrong with a younger guy hooking up with an older guy, assuming the younger guy is legal? People are expressing some very ugly opinions about this having nothing to do with this case. (By the way, 16 is legal in many jurisdictions.)
Z
Besides the 2 men who are doing their time. What about the child having an adult profile on an adult app…. i ran into something similar but the kid lied bout his age… i only found out afterward wen i was walking him to the door. The kid shud also b punished. if his lil 16yr old ass wanted to have sex without a condom then its his own fault. He chose that n now he has to live with it. Just about everybody knows that barebacking usually comes with unexpected surprises. Im not saying wat they did wasnt wrong but this kid made his own bed by lying and now he shud sleep in it.
Z
there r drugs n treatments now
Stache1
@viveutvivas: I mostly agree but grown ass men need to stay away from the kids. 16 yo’s are still just kids. The first choice and best is to send the youngster on his way once you find out. 2nd choice is as least be the fucking adult if you choose to have sex with a minor. You have a responsibility to protect them.
I also see the point others have talked about the kid lying about his age. Although, i can’t exactly see someone 16 passing as an adult so maybe they should’ve checked him out first. Then again maybe young guys are their thing and they have a history of that. In that case their really fucked. The only thing i know for sure is that their “don’t ask/don’t thing has been going on a long time. It’s just that this time they sure chose the wrong ass boy to do that with.
As Ricky Ricardo would say…. “Lucy you got some splainin to do”.
tomron
@MickeyP.: Mickey, I agree with what you say, but I’d go even one step further: It is deplorable to take advantage of a 16 year old, whose life experiences can be fit into a small pill box container. However, I don’t know of any law that says you can’t be ignorant – even at age 60. There are plenty of people who don’t have the wherewithal to think things through, and anyone who is HIV+ and barebacks with them is taking advantage of their ignorance. HIV+ people have the right to enjoy sex as well as their negative brothers, but they MUST be honest about their status and they MUST have protected sex.
Merv
@ecllips: At the risk of sounding like a prude, I’m in total agreement that gay people “hook up” too much (I hate that term.). I wish our community would realize how dangerous it is. I’m quite a bit older than you, but my partner count is only slightly higher. I came of age at just the right time to be dead now, but reading the news at the time made me paranoid, and I didn’t have sex until I was 27. I can’t know for sure, but my paranoia may have saved my life.
viveutvivas
@merv, well, condoms could have saved your life too, and you would have had a much more enjoyable time than with paranoia.
Chad Hunt
I’m sure to be hated for this comment but here goes. I’m tired of these laws that take away people’s personal responsibilities. Should these two assholes have told this boy they were HIV positive, YES. Is a kid on Grindr and ” “barebacking” innocent in this scenario, NO.
We need to teach people not only how to engage in “safer sex”, but how also when “natural sex” is an appropriate option. “Natural Sex”, can be enjoyed if you have the fortitude of character to wait to engage in it until all partners have been tested, results shared, honest commitment made, and have honest discussion if the commitment is broken.
Personal Sexual Responsibility needs to be taught both in school and at home.
People should not be forced to disclose their status to anyone. The choices are to protect yourself, or to face the consequences of your own action. Forcing people to disclose only makes them more apt to lie as has happened in this case for fear of being discriminated against etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel terrible for this child as no one ever deserves to have this nasty disease thrust upon them.
Let’s look at it this way, syphilis can aslo kill and is not curable (the virus stays with you in a low titre) , herpes is non curable, genital warts also always stay with you etc. I know HIV is a much worse disease but we all need to be responsible for ourselves. If you engage in “casual sex” you open yourself up to infection. This has always been the case. Making special laws for those infected with HIV is just wrong in my opinion.
Merv
@viveutvivas: Twenty years ago I had a condom break in the middle of the act, and not realizing it (I was inexperienced), I proceeded to effectively have bareback sex for the next five minutes. It greatly reduced my confidence in condoms. They should be used, but they might fail you at the worst possible time. By the way, bareback sex is much much more pleasurable, which is my I think a lot of people do it.
Merv
Edit: Which is WHY I think a lot of people do it.
Chad Hunt
@Abaca: #8 … These laws exist so people can blame anyone but themselves and remove all personal responsibility.
Jackhoffsky
@viveutvivas: when there is a 16 year old, yes, ageism is going to play a factor. It’s not the main factor, and it’s not against the older men as it is older men who ONLY like younger guys… yes, ageism goes in both directions.
The mentality of a 21 year old who hunts 16 year olds and a 41 year old who hunts people underage is pretty much the same. It’s a rut that is successful and as men of habit, it becomes “necessity”.
This is bullshit, mind you, but it’s still in their head as a “need”.
Batchain
@Faggot: “Judging by the insensitive, ill-informed, stigmatizing, comments and the blatant stereotyping of those living with HIV in the replies to this article HERE, I am surprised it isn’t more. The HIV bashing in the gay community echoes the same bashing that happens to homosexuals by the ultra-conservative, “religulous” right.”
Very occasionally a voice of reason is heard and this time it was supplied by “Faggot” who seems uniquely lacking in hysteria. What was obvious to me thirty years ago remains unshakably and consistently true: “Who needs ‘homophobes’ when you already have ‘homos’?” All I’ve seen thus far is shit-throwing, pseudo-moralizing, idiotic generalizing about “age groups”(It was “Jackhoffsky” who decided, “…to me anyone under 30 is a kid” — something that in a pre-anti-intellectual society would be laughably unthinkable.) and more examples of very assertive idiocy that hardly makes a whit of sense.
But even without that in mind I know who will be putting more *queer necks* in the nooses as “HIV Criminalization” spreads faster and wider: “queers!” I was just surprised to see HIV Criminalization take this long but it actually began with heterosexual cases several years ago so it’ll be a minor matter to see it take off with no resistance amongst the “LGBT”, so called.
(Hey! Does anybody remember the strident calls for “quarantining the queers!” in the 1980s? Escaped that…or can we comfortably rest easy and say that with such surety?)
viveutvivas
Just to correct some health misinformation someone posted. Syphilis is not a virus but rather a bacterium, and it is mostly curable with antibiotics.
Chad Hunt
@viveutvivas: Yes, my mistake it is a bacterial infection that is not a virus however mostly curable is not curable. Syphilis is generally maintained at a low titre in your body after treatment but often times shows no symptoms and can kill if left untreated. It also stays in your body for life and is easily reactivated upon exposure.
It is a very manageable disease if properly diagnosed & treated. We can only hope one day HIV will be as easily managed for everyone.
viveutvivas
No, syphilis does not stay in your body after treatment. It is cured by a single penicillin injection if diagnosed early, and by a somewhat longer course of penicillin if caught late.
Zombie_Killer
just because you are 16 does not mean your innocent, he willingly decided that he was going to have unprotected with someone you met in chat room. is this his first time hooking up with strangers or is this his way of meeting tricks since he’s to young to go to the bar and it’s any easy hookup.
I am not condoning what those 2 men did, but it was a mutual act from consenting parties
Chad Hunt
@viveutvivas: You are wrong. this is from the CDC website … quote “A low level of antibodies will stay in the blood for months or years after the disease has been successfully treated. “
Chad Hunt
FROM THE CDC
Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by a bacterium. Syphilis can cause long-term complications and/or death if not adequately treated.
Late and Latent Stages
The latent (hidden) stage of syphilis begins when primary and secondary symptoms disappear. Without treatment, the infected person can continue to have syphilis in their body even though there are no signs or symptoms. This latent stage can last for years.
About 15% of people who have not been treated for syphilis develop late stage syphilis, which can appear 10–30 years after infection began. Symptoms of the late stage of syphilis include difficulty coordinating muscle movements, paralysis, numbness, gradual blindness, and dementia. In the late stages of syphilis, the disease damages the internal organs, including the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels, liver, bones, and joints. This damage can result in death.
A low level of antibodies (titer) will stay in the blood for months or years after the disease has been successfully treated.
viveutvivas
@Chad Hunt, I am not wrong. You are committing an understandable error based on a misunderstanding of basic immunology.
Antibodies are not bacteria or viruses – they are molecules produced by your white blood cells to attack viruses or bacteria. Antibodies are a defense your body produces against an invader. They stay around even when the invader is gone so that your body can defend itself quickly if it is reinfected in future. You can even have antibodies against a disease you never had – that’s what vaccinations are for.
Syphilis only stays with you long term if it is not treated, not if you get treatment. Syphilis is cured completely and eliminated from the body by penicillin. It does not stay in your body.
Chad Hunt
@viveutvivas: Yes, I know what antibodies are. You even get a lot of those from being breast feed. My understanding was that it was a little like chicken pox and remains in your blood stream sort of like the shingles virus after you have chicken pox. You are probably correct and I just misunderstood the doctor who explained it to me when I was exposed to it by a sex partner. Luckily, I turned out not to have contracted it. My mistake.
Mitchell
I absolutely believe that the acts of these two men are horrific. They should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. However, we must also examine the fact that the young “teen” was on a site that required you to be 18 years of age or older. However, Grinder, like many other sites do nothing to verify the age of the users, you simply download the app on your smart phone, click you are over 18 and you are in the Grinder site and available to any members you wish. Dating and hook up sites certainly have a place and the right to be in business, clearly this is shown by the success of each of them, straight or gay. But we need to require more stringent rules to ensure young men or women are not allowed to access such sites. Moe important it is important that every parent make sure that their children are educated and knowledgeable about sex. You can’t allow your children to stay ignorant and also be ignorant to the dangers that are out there. Where are the parents, why are they not being held responsible for child endangerment? They have no less of an obligation to protect and be aware of their children. I make no excuses and hold every belief that the two men that made a sexual liaison with a 16 year old as outrageous and illegal, but so is being a 16 year old on an adult site and being the parents of a 16 year old unaware of the comings and goings of their CHILD.
FitChicago
UPDATE: These two men are NO LONGER IN CUSTODY
According to Vinelink:
EVANS, DARRELL ALLEN 06/09/1972 40 Out of Custody General release BROWARD COUNTY JAIL
TRINH, HUY KIEN 02/19/1980 33 Out of Custody General release BROWARD COUNTY JAIL
From what I was able to decipher from a Google search, “General Release” means: Someone has served their misdemeanor sentence in full, or has had the case dismissed, postponed with an ROR or there is no sufficient charge to hold the person, so they are being released from jail. I also came across information that “General Release” is sometimes utilized due to overcrowding.
This information raises many more questions than provides answers.
FitChicago
Apparently they have been OUT OF CUSTODY SINCE FEBRUARY 20:
———————————————————————————–
Offender Name: HUY KIEN TRINH
Offender ID:211303991
Date of Birth:02/19/1980
Age: 33
Race: White
Gender: Male
Custody Status: Out of Custody
Date: 02/20/2013
Reason:General release
—————————————————————————————-
Offender Name: DARRELL ALLEN EVANS
Offender ID:211303992
Date of Birth:06/09/1972
Age: 40
Race: White
Gender: Male
Custody Status: Out of Custody
Date: 02/20/2013
Reason:General release
viveutvivas
@fitchicago, I would guess that the teenager was not the innocent he seemed.
FitChicago
@viveutvivas:
I don’t know what to make of them getting out via “General Release”, it could be that the case was dismissed, postponed with an ROR, due to overcrowding or there is no sufficient charge to hold the person.
Last night I sent a nice email to the Sun Sentinel reporter to compliment her on the story and ask some of the questions that many of us have raised here. Haven’t heard back and don’t expect to.
whitey
Hi, Any updates on this case? Without saying which one, I know one of these men personally and have known him for years. Not going to go into details about our relationship, but suffice it to say that I can believe him doing the actions listed in the story. Sad, but it doesn’t surprise me.
whitey
Been doing some checking and it appears that this Darrell guy was arrested again for Felony Battery back in October of last year. Does anyone know the current status of the “Gindr” case?
Brian Jacobson
The guy who infected me with HIV told me I sinned. He said in a post encounter letter that he was sent to do gods work. He told me he just sat there and watched me suck the poison out of him.
Isn’t killing me a sin ? What about not judging another human to the point of taking a life? And what about straight couples having pre marital sex and oral sex not for pro creation? How are those sins more ok than raping the innocense from me? He was more than 2 x my age.