Holy Gay Hypocrisy!

Okay, so homophobic Pastor Ted Haggard (pictured) hasn’t technically admitted to having slept with wiley hooker, Mike Jones, but the fact that he’s stepped down as President of the National Association of Evangelicals and run off for “spiritual guidance” doesn’t look good.

For those of you not up to date, this story first broke Tuesday when Jones – who had actually spoken with reporters two months ago – said he had a three-year affair with the politically connected preacher man. Haggard, of course, insisted no such thing ever happened: he’s a good Christian, after all, and spouts homo-hatred left and right in his pursuit of heaven on Earth, a heaven in which gays will never get the chance to marry. Maintaining his heterosexuality, Haggard questions whether or not Jones’ allegations are mere political chicanery:

I don’t know if this is election year politics or if this has to do with the marriage amendment or what it is, but I’m not even the guy who will investigate it or question it. I don’t know what the dynamics are, but this independent group will come in and do that.

That “independent group”, of course, would consist of members from Haggard’s 14,000-strong New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

As the day went on and prominent Evangelicals, such as Focus on the Family’s James Dobson, came out in support of Haggard, Jones dropped another bomb shell: he has evidential voice mails and a letter from Haggard. What’s more, Jones claims to have seen Haggard use meth.

Cue the getaway car.

Of course, Haggard insists he stepped down for the good of his church-run investigation:

I am voluntarily stepping aside from leadership so that the overseer process can be allowed to proceed with integrity,” he said. “I hope to be able to discuss this matter in more detail at a later date. In the interim, I will seek both spiritual advice and guidance.

“Spiritual advice and guidance” means either “harsh defagification” or “pull a Mark Foley and hide until after the election”.

Ahh, yes, the election. As we mentioned, Haggard’s exceedingly well-connected and has been described as one of the most powerful religious leaders in America. How could he not? As of yesterday he commanded 30 million Evangelicals, an organization known for its virulent homophobia and anti-gay marriage politics. It’s also the religious group President Bush calls his own.

As the story developed, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer called on everyone’s favorite homo-journo-politico, Andrew Sullivan to weigh in on the matter. (Not incidentally, Sulivan’s blog comes to us via Time Magazine, which is owned by CNN’s parent company, Time Warner.)

Undoubtedly a bright man, Sullivan brought up the fact that Evangelicals – who once toed the Republican party line as if their lives depended on it – have been turning away from politics. MSNBC concurs:

The number of conservative Christians with a favorable view of the party has plummeted from 74 percent to 54 percent between 2004 and this year, according to the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press. Evangelicals comprise more than one-third of GOP voters.

Rather than aligning whole-heartedly with the GOP, Sullivan says, many Evangelicals will “pray on it” to determine a new political route. No doubt the fact that their leader sucks cock will confuse their decision-making prayers.

While many think the Evangelicals will vote for the GOP, even if only for lack of options, we can’t help but think that thousands may turn away entirely. As if the string of corruption scandals weren’t enough, they’ve had to deal with the entire Mark Foley mess, and now their leader – the man to whom they turned for religious, political and social guidance – may be a big, fat liar.

This is more than a test of faith. This is a test of personal will – is someone willing to follow a debunked myth or does a new path come calling? Obviously there’s no cut and dry answer to this matter, but it sure as hell’s going to cause some major trouble.

In our opinion, Jones’s probably telling the truth. Of course, the timing’s mighty fishy and we suspect someone paid him to keep the story under wraps until closer to the election. Who that person may be, however, remains a mystery.

Previously: I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Hooker”

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  • Jett Loe

    Was kind of in a bad mood this morn – but gosh, for a whole host of reasons this just cheered me right up! Thanks, Queerty.

  • Bryan

    Just to clarify, his investigatory board will not consist of members of his church. It will consist of four pastors that Haggard knows, three from Colorado and one from Louisiana, and with whom he had a pre-existing arrangement that if he was ever suspected of “wrongdoing” of any kind – financial, sexual, etc. – they would come in to investigate it and decide on appropriate discipline. Most likely, he’ll be removed as pastor but will be allowed to return to ministry after a set number of years after he complies with very specific conditions.

  • Ray

    RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! the timing of this stinks! Its saddening that people will go this far to secure votes. Watch after the elections this whole thing is going to come out as a hoax! effing liberals have no dignity let alone self respect! Plus why is it that everyone who doesnt believe in what homosexuals believe in are labeled as “homophobes” I thought you people preached “tolorence” and “respeect for others ideas” you placing labels on everyone just shows how INTOLORENT you are! Holy Hypocracy??? i think the hypocracy lies right there in the heart of the homosexual agenda! BAM! RESPECT!

  • brad

    Well ok the guy is a hypocrite but lets also talk about the so called escort who advertises in Out Front for discrete services and gets paid for giving discrete massages. If the guy advertises that he offers discrete services then BLABS all over all the place about who he gives massages to, he isn’t very discrete is he?

    If he is in the BUSINESS of doing discrete massages, he should remain DISCRETE.

  • a

    The accuser (Mike Jones) just failed his lie detector test…
    The orginal interview was with radio talk show host Peter Boils in Denver Colorado. Also this was known almost 2 months ago (Paula Woodward channel 9 news). Now the news is being released…how convienient. ..(can we say gay marrige amendment?) Will you post a headline just as big as this one? I am betting not. Guilty by accusation, like always. Thanks for proving that moving an your agenda is more important than reporting thoughtful news. Not biased fluff. Prove me wrong…please! Obviously this is an attempt to grab headlines before the election. I do not hate you, but I do not agree with you. Show some poise and be the one’s and buck up with the truth. The only agenda that is getting movement now is the agenda to hurt this man’s life and family. Even if this guy is guilty or not, can we wait for the truth. Not assume it. Also can you answer this. How do homesexuals continue their population? I am confused by that.

  • Graham Kaye

    First of all how can we be hypocrites when he has already admitted his GUILT!
    Check your facts.

    The truth is I feel sorry for the guy. Obviously, he was born gay like all other gay people. Which just like being straight is not a lifestyle choice. He spends his whole life denying his real feelings about his sexuality, does what most of society and his family want him to do. Grows up with some typical religious bullshit artist cherry picking crap out of the bible that they don’t even believe or follow. And now here he is, so miserable because he’s been forced to go around secretly to express his true God given nature. And he will be vilified most by those millions of Evangelicals that he has helped for over 30 years of his life. But the fact is he should have been honest in the first place. I feel sorry for his wife and children who feel deceived. However, I question whether the wife knew about this. You know how those wives of the Evangelical leaders love to get on TV themselves and love the bling, bling! And spend the money of their supporters. I think anyone who makes money off of religion is about as sick and demented as you can probably get….Anybody seen Jim Dobson’s castle!

  • Lawrence

    I feel sorry for the guy too. And he is so handsome !
    Undeniably he must be torn apart. This cruel wrench between his yearning and his sexuality must be excruciatingly painful to bear.

  • Kevin

    I’m glad that he’s good-looking. He can turn this into a postive and help out gay people since he’s a good talker.

  • randy robison

    Tell the hurting people at New Life Church that homosexuality doesn’t hurt anyone.

  • gmyke

    Just what we’ve been hoping for, another hypocritical, self-hating old fag caught doing something stupid.
    To Ray… of course he’s guilty, innocent persons do not resign posts in the face of lies.

    If evans were more tolerant, maybe their clergy would be more open to them….”hey I’m a meth toking fag–what would Jesus do?”

  • Ron

    To “A” NO.5 you ask… How do homesexuals continue their population? I am confused by that.

    They Don’t.

    All I know is that if All Homosexuals were eliminated from the earth today; in one generation the population of that new generation would have the same percentage of gays. IT PROVES THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RECRUITING. Homosexuality is a Fact of Nature.

  • gmyke

    No. 5
    It’ really very simple. God loving, homo “not”hating men and women like yourself give birth to them by the rainbow busload!

  • Mort

    Why shouldn’t we crow a little? The man and his ilk use their influence to bring pain and suffering to millions of others who have done NOTHING wrong. And all because of some backwater, silly belief system.

    If the man thinks homosexuality is so wrong then why was he in a room with a gay escort and a whole lot of drugs?

    Surely if he was so sure that homosexuality is sinful then he would never have put himself in that position?

    Or is it that, as always, these bigots have got more to hide about themselves then having any “loving” concern for others?

    Thank you for not hating us No 5. You have a funny way of showing it. I don’t hate bible-quoting, moronic Christians either, but you don’t find me trying to ban their marriages, rights to have children (btw it is medically possible to have kids if you are gay, ain’t science great?), or their freedom to be who they were born to be either. Perhaps I have a different definition of hatred to you?

  • Frank A. Lostaunau

    Can’t we all just get along fellas? No doubt that haggard is a whore. I don’t find him handsome. He’s too much of a tweenie!

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